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Top Chef Las Vegas: Before the Finals (Sarah's Predictions)

Picture 2 Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, WTF? ANOTHER RERUN? Did somebody tell you I am a patient woman, Bravo because I fear you have been lied to.

Fine. I will try to gather my wits. Let us speak instead of the final four.

Picture 1

As I mentioned last week, I think this is the first time that the four cooks left standing are actually the four people who I think are the best chefs from the season.

Except maybe Hector. 


Remember Hector? He went out early, but I think he was probably better than a lot of the chefs that were eliminated after him. He has been nominated for the James Beard award twice. I would have liked to have seen more of his cooking.

But that is neither here nor there. Let us talk about who is left.

We have the Brothers Voltaggii:


For those of you (Lumpyhead's Mom) who cannot tell them apart.

This one is Bryan.


And this one is Michael.

Picture 9

These guys are both phenomenal chefs. I have a theory about their breeding that involves hand picking great culinary minds for generations and forcing them to mate leading up to these two boys. My theory also includes German scientists, dynamite, pole vaulting, laughing gas, choppers and a bastardization of part of the plot from Rocky IV. I'm sure you can figure it out with the clues I have given you here.

Is anyone else throw off of their game because "Voltaggio" is just a little too close to "Volturi"?


Just me, huh?

Fine then. We will move on to Jennifer.


I kind of like Jennifer. Sure, her grammar is terrible and her accent and posture... let's just say that Jennifer could benefit from watching this season on Netflix, but I think she is an excellent chef. I don't think she will win this season, but I think if she had more self-confidence she could be unstoppable.

You guys all know who I think is going to win anyway.



In short. I think the four of them will go to Napa. They will have a challenge and Michael V. will be eliminated. My guess is he will destroy himself with his bad attitude. Bravo will weep because the brother drama will be over and they think a brother on brother final would be great for ratings, but let's be honest. If you are going to watch Top Chef, you are already watching Top Chef. There are only about four human beings alive that would tune in just because two brothers were in the finals and all of them have deep seeded sibling issues.

So Michael will brag about how he cooks Kevin's dishes in his sleep but he will be too busy feeling superior to actually cook something good and


just like that. He will be gone.

So then we are down to three, Kevin, Bryan and Jennifer. Bravo shocks us with an elimination quickfire. You know, just like they shock us every season. Jennifer cracks under pressure.

And then there are two.

Top chef final 2

My prediction for the finals involves wine and a fancy vineyard. I think both chefs will rock the house and Kevin will come out triumphant.

You guys are with me right? Or do you think one of the others is going to take it all?

Oh, and one more thing.


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I hope the Napa episodes include a challenge where the finalists must make their own wine and are tasked to do it in the style of Lucy and Ethel.

Suzy Q


That would be AWESOME!


Wait. Just because it's Thanksgiving there's not a new episode?! Do you know how furious I was? I mean, I guess I'll get over it and use this day to be thankful for health and family and all that nonsense. And watch Addams Family 2. Geez.


I will storm off in a huff and maybe cry a little if Kevin doesn't win.

Thank you for your tutorial, but if you showed me a picture of one of the Voltbags - without the little word bubble - I would have a less than 50% chance of getting his name right. I'm not sure how that's mathematically possible, but I assure you that it's true.


My husband and I are on Team Kevin all the way. I don't really dislike any of the others (although Michael's constant smack-talking has started to annoy), but for us, Kevin seems like the clear winner. Let's hope there's no last-minute choking!


I'm still more offended that Bravo chose to rerun that horrible Fabio-hosted reunion dinner on Thanksgiving.

If Lumpyhead's Mom (yeah, I'm talking to you ;)) can't tell them apart after that rolling pin picture, I don't know. I couldn't tell them apart until the bocuse d'oh episode, but I'm good now. Basically, Brian is the one who doesn't always look like he wishes he was looking at himself in the mirror. He also has this vague brow-knitting thing going on because he's a concerned sort of guy, poor little guy. (I've overthought Voltaggi Due, clearly.)

Is it just me or does this season feel like it's ten sizes too long? I can't wait til it's over and we can all get in our sleighs and help Rudolph overcome his self-esteem issues and...oh wait, that's just Kevin. ;)


I picked Kevin from the beginning, before I knew a thing about any of them. I stand by it. Also, Jen needs a deep conditioning treatment on her hair. Ooooh, she'd like so much better with better hair.


Don't write off Jennifer though. They've had a break. If they had done it right away, she'd go home first would be my thought. But since they go home for a bit first, I think she has a chance. She'll find her skills, where she left them in her closet at home and win it all. Or something. :)

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