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My Top Ten Celebrity Memory Making Moments of 2009

Diddy-Joaquin-Phoenix Is it just me or has 2009 been chock o' full to the brim with unusually  head-scratching celebrity stuff? I found all the following stuff weird, interesting, or baffling and it just seems this year offered more fodder than usual. Either that or my memory is retaining more information which seems highly unlikely considering I can't even remember if I ate today.

Regardless, please enjoy this rambling incoherent trip down motherbumper's celebrity memory lane called 2009: the stuff that wormed it's way into my brain box and will become the pop culture reference points of today, tomorrow

(1) Joaquin Phoenix Quits Hollywood: In January when Joaquin Phoenix started what may or may not be a hoax about leaving Hollywood and started showing up everywhere looking like Grizzly Adams I was convinced it was for a movie role. But apparently not. Has anyone figured this one out yet? Is he gone or not? What? He's going to concentrate on rapping right now... riiiiiiiiight Okay. Good luck with that Joaquin, it was fun while it lasted.


(2) Christian Bale Freaks Out: And helping solidify my lifelong love of prima donna celebrity behaviour -- because it is fun to watch as long as you aren't really involved -- was the infamous Christian Bale meltdown which made for a pretty damn fine dance remix. I could listen to this one all day long.

(3) I discovered what a Gosselin is and I'm not happy about it: 2009 included the demise of the Gosselin saga slash marriage slash reality TV fodder. I did not know who these people were before the rumours about Jon Gosselin's infidelity started swirling. My knowledge was limited to watching half an episode during a TLC marathon last December when I was too lazy to find the remote in my in-law's basement. It was the episode where she showed her belly post birthin' the sextuplets -- yah, I picked a good one to watch. Anyhow it's hard to believe it was just months ago that the Jon Gosselin was cheating whispers started. Who knew it would blow up into the Ed Harvey reverse-mullet infamy that it is today? Please let these people disappear into the sunset of 2009.

(4) Speidi make it legit: The Gosselins for some reason reminds me that this year also brought official and publicity saturated union of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt -- aka Speidi. Just like the Gosselins, I really hope these two disappear from the public eye. When people think your wedding is a publicity stunt, that's when you really need to retreat and reevaluate why you want to be famous. Emphasis on retreat.

(5) Michael shadows Farrah: I don't even need to explain how Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson deaths being announced within hours of each other was freaky weird. I'm still stunned over Farrah but for some reason not over Ryan O'Neal hitting on his daughter Tatum at Farrah's funeral or how Ryan and son were arrested for meth. Those O'Neals sure do love scandals with substance(s).

(6) The Ghost and Mrs. Winehouse: Oh and the strangest thing I heard about the passing of MJ? That his ghost visited Amy Winehouse and told her to lay off drugs. I wonder if he also encouraged her to get those breast implants. Plastic surgery and MJ kinda go hand and hand.

(7) Morgan Freeman Grosses Me Out: How about Morgan Freeman leaving his wife so he can shack up with his granddaughter? Now if that isn't freaky deaky weird and whacky, I don't know what is. Sure, she is his step-grandaughter but uh, she's 27, he's 70 and he's known her since she was a child. Ew ew ew ew.

(8) So did John Phillips: Oh god, then I can't mention the one about Morgan Freeman without mentioning the revelation by MacKenzie Phillips about her relationship with her Dad John Phillips. 2009 was chock full "omg I so didn't need to picture that".

(9) How Deep is Your Love? Speaking of freaky families, how about Robin Gibb and his wife-sanctioned affair with the housekeeper. Oh did I mention they had a baby and his wife is a lesbian Druide priestess? riiiiight. I'm never getting that story out of my head.

(10) Didn't peg Tiger as a Tiger: And all this freaky weirdness of the year was capped with the Tiger Woods story that isn't showing any signs of letting up -- or at least won't have a chance until every last woman who had a spin with Le Tigre has shown up to claim their fifteen minutes of fame. What started out as "Tiger Woods was in a serious accident" outside his home morphed into one of the most unbelievable scandals of the year -- or at least I didn't see that one coming. Dude is going to be paying for this for-ever.

Here is hoping 2010 keeps the world of celebrity super freaky and weird for my personal entertainment (I kid, they are human, they feel pain... but sometimes they are just begging me to look and point) and good riddance 2009, you were one craptastically strange year.

Happy New Year everybody.

. . . . .
katie (aka motherbumper) sometimes appears on her own blog but not as often as she should.

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2009 - The year of creepy-ass sex.


As opposed to creepy ass-sex.


Wow. Who knew a hyphen could hold so much power?


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