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Schmutzie's MamaPop Top Seven of 2009: The Seven Deadly Sins That Did Them In

Adam_eve Wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. These are the Seven Deadly Sins, and I'm pretty sure that we've all fallen prey to their allure. Some of us have done it repeatedly. Some of us turn it into a whole lifestyle.

One thing that can't be denied, though, is that we love to watch these sins in action when they hit the public eye, and here are the seven sinning celebrities that stuck with me in 2009...

Seven_deadly_sins_old
The Seven Deadly Sins and The Punishments in Hell Awaiting Those Who Commit Them according to Le Grant Calendrier des Bergiers, published in 1496

1. Wrath

Chris Brown wins his spot in this category with his brutal assault on Rihanna. The loser beat her until her highly recognizable face was masked with swelling and bruises. We don't love him.

2. Greed

Three people immediately popped to my mind: John Travolta's longtime friend Obie Wilchcombe, ambulance driver Tarino Lightbourne, and Bahamian Senator Pleasant Bridgewater. Those three cold-hearted sociopaths took it upon themselves to try to extort money from John Travolta shortly after the unexpected death of his son. Evil much?

3. Sloth

Jeremy Piven pulled out of his headlining role in a Broadway revival of David Mamet's Speed-the-Plow just ten weeks before show time with the claim that he had mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi. If this even sounded plausible, I'd keep this one in my back pocket, but it doesn't. Sorry, Piven, but we didn't buy it.

4. Pride

Speidi. I tried to pick one thing out about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, but everything about them? Insert here. Montag's horrible performance at Miss Universe 2009, Pratt losing his shit on Twitter, and their generally douchebag approach to posing for the camera is all an embarrassing mess of vanity.

5. Lust

This one is a no-brainer: Tiger Woods. He had it all: marriage to a gorgeous wife, beautiful children, a pro sports career, and eleventy-billion mistresses he had to pay thousands and thousands of dollars on a monthly basis to keep quiet.

6. Envy

Us. Yes, US. We are guilty of envy, because we all know that when @shitmydadsays from Twitter got that deal with CBS to create a television pilot based on his tweets, we all wanted to be that guy. Oh, did we.

7. Gluttony

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan keeps taking stuff. She's not stealing exactly but just taking what she thinks she is entitled to. This makes us very over Lohan. The I-want-stuff-and-I-should-have-it approach is obnoxious. Go get paid for doing something.

2009 was chock full of the sinning, and Santa's still got another day or two, depending on your time zone, to double-check who's been naughty. Are there any other celebrity sinners that come to mind who might be getting a nice lump of coal on the 25th?







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Comments

Out-Numbered

Ahhhh. Thank you for that. Good stuff...

DianaCLT

Pretty sure Speidi could fit into every category.

Ummmm...Jon & Kate must be in here somewhere. Or everywhere.

DianaCLT

Pretty sure Speidi could fit into every category.

Ummmm...Jon & Kate must be in here somewhere. Or everywhere.

mouthy_broad

this a great list.

Karen

Jon and Kate belong in Greed for sure. Who else, this year anyway, pimped out their kids and sacrificed their marriage on the altar of wealth?

JellyBean

Jeremy Piven double sloth for growing man boobs from too much soy.
Octomom for greed.
I think there is a Real Housewife for each of these sins too.




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