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Leno Discusses Conan and Letterman On Oprah. I Saw Some Of It.

1lenoBlaaaaahhhhhhh.  I'm so tired of hearing about the Jay Leno/Conan/Letterman talk show wars. I would watch them if they were actual wars with spies, ballistic missiles pointed at one another, the very real threat of mutually assured destruction and so on. 

Yes, guys, you're all pretty funny.  I'll even go as far to say you're almost as funny as many marginally successful comedians. However, this isn't 1994.  I've got 400 channels now. If I want to laugh or be entertained at 11:30, my options are endless.  You're not even on the long list anymore. 

What's more sad is that you somehow all are coming out of this appearing victimized, and it's driving me insane. Poooooor Conan. Poooooor Jay. What will Conan do?  Why is Jay soooo mean? Oh my God! Did you hear that joke Jay made about Letterman's infidelity? (which was awesome and, in my opinion, the funniest thing he's said in years) It's horrible!

How do you get Letterman to ignore you?

Marry him!

In your face, David Letterman! You know, because you're a cheater and stuff. I got it. Of course, Oprah thought it was "below" Jay.  I respectfully disagree. I think it was above him. Bam! He knocked that one right out of the park.

1david-letterman-courtney-loveI'm sorry. I'm having difficulty feeling anything over this gazillionaire slap fight. I routinely hear better insult exchanges at dinner.

People are really passionate about this. Enraged even. So if you're one of these people, reeeeelaaaaaaxxxx.  Conan's going to keep his home.  He may not land an 11:30 spot on prime-time TV, and that's okay.  Late night talk shows are a dying breed. It's the ratings and growing disinterest that are causing the turmoil.

Conan O'Brien is talented, connected and he'll certainly be involved with something. If not, he'll sip cocktails on his own Caribbean beach somewhere. I just want to give him a big hug and tell him it's going to be okay.

The upcoming generation spends more time on the internet than they do watching television (by a longshot). When they're running things, you and I will be asleep after Jeopardy. That's not far away.  It's the same reason we're not watching The Osmonds or Sonny and Cher on prime-time television anymore.  We're evolving and have considerably better options.

Here's an example: I climbed in bed the other night, flipped on my dvr and watched a 60 year old Bruce Jenner beat the shit out of someone and 2 Kardashian children get repeatedly punched in the face. Hello?  Carson could come out of retirement and it wouldn't matter. You can't compete with that. Additionally,I was lucky enough to see one of the funniest moments I've seen on television. You'll almost even miss it. Let's see if you do.


Ok. If you missed it the first time, please go back and watch Bruce Jenner.  He's the one next to really concerned Kardashian mom laughing his ass off while his stepson gets relentlessly pummeled by a monster.  Now that's comedy.

So if you've been watching the late night talk shows forever and are just fed up with all the bullshit, pick up the remote, flip through your guide and see what the hell is going on out there. You'll see a virtual cornucopia of things that will make you laugh harder than anything you'll see on any of these shows. Free your miiiind and the rest will follow ( I defy you not to have that song stuck in your head all day).

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Ahahahaha! I did catch it the first time, but I tought it was Gary Busey, not Jenner. Which kinda would have been funnier!

Jen O.

First of all I hate you. Because - be color blind, don't be so shallow.

Second of all I love you because THANK YOU. I, too, could not care less about all of this stuff. Mostly because I can't stay up that late, but also because they're so boring and repetitive and not all that funny.

Anyway, I'm conflicted. I think I hate you, but you're probably alright. Maybe I like you. We'll see. It's complicated.


If Carson came out of retirement, people WOULD watch. He's been dead for awhile. (RIP, Johnny!)


Carson's dead? This is horrible.  Then I retract my statement. I'd watch that.

Apryl's Antics

Is that Courtney Love on David Letterman's desk or the killer from "Silence of the Lambs" doing the 'tuck dance'. I really can't tell the difference. Either way, Letterman doesn't look frightened enough.


Is it bad that I hoped that clip would end more like an episode of Celebrity Death Match? I don't think so, but I've been wrong before.


The only late night talk show of sorts I ever even consider watching is Chelsea Lately. I mean she's super irreverent, has a midget side-kick & a round-table of funny idiots. Love Chelsea Handler. Even if she did have to sleep with an E! top exec of sorts to get her job...

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