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MamaPop Loser Q&A With Their Trainers

KristinSo, barely thinking, I started flapping my jaws and challenged our trainer, Corey, to a half-marathon race and you can see Kristin's reaction to the left. Oh shut up, Kristin.

After the jump, Corey & Kristin answer our fitness questions.

BHJ: Greetings! Joining us today at the MamaPop Ranch is Corey and Kristin, our fitness experts (compared to us). Good God! You two make us feel terrible about ourselves. You’re like huge flashing beacons of what we are not.




BHJ: No need to apologize. Perhaps you can compensate our feelings of inadequacy by answering some questions for us?


COREY: No problem. But I have a question first. Is this a real interview or are you making this up? Also, I think you’re the coolest dude on the internet.

BHJ: Well jeez thanks, Corey. Embarrass me why don’t you? And by the way, yes, I’ve been known to take certain liberties with my interviews, but most of this is real.

COREY: But. I didn’t actually say you were the coolest dude on -

BHJ: Before we get to some of the more technical aspects of our weight loss, let’s clear the air of any negative feelings between us. It's true that I've challenged both of you to a 13.1 mile race in Las Vegas in December. What I want to know is: Do you fear me?

KRISTIN: We do not fear you. In fact, we are going to take you up on this challenge in Vegas and Corey is going to kick some Black Hockey Jesus butt. I'd say I'd kick your ass too, but I am a girl and I'd also rather put all the pressure and smack talking on Corey. I will, however, document the whole thing in living colour, and attempt to run a 1:45 half marathon myself. He might wear pink underwear, but Corey's a determined SOB. This will be quite a race

COREY: I will race you ... in my pink underwear.  Although this may seem like an excuse to work on a tan in December... I am there!!

BHJ: Oh. Well. Okay. Very well. But. Only if you want. I mean. I know you’re from Canada and all. You know. And. Getting into America’s a little crazy right now with all the terror terror terror. It can be a pain. So. Yeah. If you can swing it then. If you’re not. Busy. Anybody else have a question?

MOTHERBUMPER: Being in the season of colds, how does one maintain exercise (if at all) and avoid carb loading? And I miss salt -- to the point where I want to buy a salt lick for myself. Any suggestions before I buy an extra large bag of BBQ Lays?

KRISTIN: I used to dream about bread.  I eat less than half the carbs I used to, and at this point I don't miss them nearly as much as I did.  Look for low carb breads and pastas when you do eat them, and stock up on low cal protein bars. The Myoplex ones are my favourite: the lite ones are 180 calories and packed with protein with relatively low carbs. They stick to your ribs with the same gumption as bread.

COREY: Not all carbs are created equal.  Some carbs you can still get away with eating a satisfying portion, without a huge impact on the taste. But what do I know?  I have a habit of drowning my items in extra hot sauce. This leaves me kinda euphoric after my meals... and who knows?... may even help ward off some colds ;)

BHJ: And I’ve never read anything in Runner’s World about NOT buying a salt lick. I think you should buy the salt lick instead of the BBQ Lays. I just think it would be funny. Plus interesting to explain to guests.

JASON: How come everyone loves chubby babies but chubby adults are constantly being ridiculed? Can't we just reverse that somehow?

KRISTIN: That is a very good question.  I think BHJ might have a better answer than me on that...BHJ?

BHJ: It’s tricky. Babies cast spells on us that make us think they’re cute and adorable so we don’t leave them wailing in the forest. But I’ve had a vasectomy, the veil has been lifted, and I now see babies for the fat, lazy jerks they are.

MISS BANSHEE: I've been eating a lot of quinoa and brown rice. Should I trade those out for protein? Do we like carbs again? Do we still hate them? I'm so confused.

BHJ: What the fuck is quinoa? Sounds like someone might be cheating.

KRISTIN: I've found that this Body for Life diet I'm on now is the best I've ever seen for results. I've slimmed down and leaned out and I do think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am very conscious of balancing my protein with my carbs.  I would add protein to your quinoa and rice rather than give it up, and just make sure that your portion sizes are right.

COREY: I was on the high protein diet and actually found that you get better results when balancing with a carb.  Especially when you are doing long workouts.  You just don't have the energy level to get you through those longer runs without it.

BHJ: I have a question. Are you hungry? When I try to eat healthy, I'm always hungry. Would you say you've found ways to be physically comfortable in terms of hunger or would you say its been more of a process of developing new attitudes regarding being hungry and full?

COREY: That's a good question, and I think it's a bit of both.  I'd say there's a big difference between being satisfied and being full and that there is an attitude of overindulgence in *everything* we do as North Americans...not just eating. Being mindful of what you are eating helps a lot - make a smaller plate and you'll be less likely to keep eating after you're satisfied.

Don't max out your calories on wasted food -- you can eat a boatload of salad and grilled chicken or one cookie and feel hungry after the one cookie within an hour.  I only feel like jamming my body full of food if I leave it too long so it's important to eat small, frequent meals (I eat 6 times a day, small meals, to keep me satisfied.)  The more you eat proper sized meals, the more your stomach will adjust and you'll start to feel fuller.  So yeah, you'll be hungry.  And then you'll get used to not being full - but being just satisfied and it's actually a good feeling.

KRISTIN: Yeah. I'm hungry a lot. But I am newer at this and moving from eating chips and dip and caramel out of the bottle to 6 small healthy, balanced meals a day.  The smaller portions take some getting used to, but being hungry when I eat (rather than just bored, etc) makes me appreciate the food a lot more and now a banana and cottage cheese tastes like a delicious treat rather than shitty health food and I am being totally serious.  It does.

Also, I've worked out like a mofo in the past - running every day.  I still had lumps, a muffin top, and cellulite on my butt.  The diet makes a gigantic difference.  Running alone won't do it.  Give yourself one day a week where you can fill yourself to the brim if you want. My free day is salvation.

AMALAH: I had ab muscle separation after both pregnancies. It healed itself pretty well after Noah, but this time (15 months later) I'm still pretty wrecked in that area and can feel the separation down the center. What ab exercises should I be doing to really help fix this, and are there any I should avoid that might make it worse?

BHJ: You had what?!?

COREY: This is a tough question. There are lower impact exercises that you can try as well as exercises that work your core as a secondary or tertiary muscle.  Really you should not be pushing yourself in a region that you are sore in. Perhaps this question is better answered by your physician.

KRISTIN: It took me almost two years after Nolan was born for me to realize that my belly button stick-outiness was not a leftover tragedy of pregnancy, but a hernia -- so I feel your pain when you speak of separation and pain in there, gross. So I echo Corey because we're totally not remotely qualified to dispense advice, let alone drivel....talk to your doctor. My own told me to focus on ab moves that strengthen obliques rather than ones that put pressure straight down the middle (ie. sit ups, etc.) But your situation might be totally different.

One bonus I've noted from running consistently though: my stomach was the first thing to firm up.

BHJ: So your ab muscles did what? WTF? Save us, Sweetney.

SWEETNEY: I've heard a lot of different opinions about whether you should exercise every day, or every other day, or only 5 or 6 days a week (to give your body a rest, and to achieve optimum results). What's your take on this?

BHJ: I run every day because I think rest day advocates are lazy slackers who use faulty research to justify sloth. [NOTE: This position is not endorsed by MamaPop or anyone except BHJ's ego.]

COREY: Never work a muscle that is sore. You will be doing more harm than good there. I think as long as you listen to your body and don't push your limits when you are tired or sore you will reduce your chances of injury and going insane.

KRISTIN: By all accounts, you need at least one rest day a week to let your body recuperate. The Body for Life program we're doing advocates one day of weights, one of cardio, rotating (we follow this loosely but we actually probably tend to overtrain a bit - we do more than the recommended 20 intense minutes a day)  I tend to notice that I run faster and stronger after a day off.  If you can do 5 days a week of exercise, you're doing pretty amazingly well, lady.  I started to see tangible results after I started incorporating weights in with my running.

KAREN: Water - how much?  There are a million friggin articles on the subject.  Right now I drink when I'm thirsty.

COREY: I have heard that there is no basis for the "12 glasses" a day that you often hear. What I do know is that as you increase your activity level your body will take on more water. You also require water to lubricate your joints and reduce injury. I think that they key is replacing your normal intake of juice or other high sugar liquids with water.

KRISTIN: I keep a glass by my computer but I always forget to drink it. I try to drink a large glass as soon as I get up (Corey swears by the whole cold glass of water/rev metabolism thing) and then I probably meander through 3 or 4 glasses a day after that, including protein shakes. I drink water like a mofo at the gym, though. It gives me an excuse to step away from that goddamned chest press.

JASON: I Love riding my bicycle but it really irritates my grundle. Is there any alternative cardiovascular activities I can engage in, that won't irritate my sandbar?

COREY: Sand bar?  What is that? You can run. But there might still be chafage involved, in which case I recommend Body Glide.

KRISTIN: I dig the word grundle, a lot. Running? Rowing? The elliptical machine? Kayaking is awesome for arms, and there's also good old fashioned clambering up mountains.

BHJ: I’m with Corey on this one. You need to lube your grundle.

. . . . .
BHJ challenges you, too, to run the Las Vegas Half Marathon on December 5, 2010.

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I fully plan on using the phrase "you need to lube your grundle" in a sentence today... if I can do it without cry-laughing.

katie | motherbumper

Grundle is such an awesome word, I'm going to use it daily. Also going to use that advice daily too. Thanks!

best protein bars

Protein bars hold an advantage over shakes and meal replacements for several reasons.


I've changed my mind. Maybe we do fear you.

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