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Tiger Woods: Sex Addict

Tiger Woods muscle nike I know you guys are sick to death of him, but just one more quick thing about Tiger Woods. Last Monday Tiger checked into the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services clinic in Mississippi for sex addiction.

I swear to Lemmy I didn't even know sex addiction existed until I read "Choke" in 2004.

The internet knows Tiger is in sex rehab because a 19 year old who saw him at the crappy little municipal airport in Hattiesburg, Mississippi told us so.

Now, I've personally never been to Hattiesburg, Mississippi but if some kid says the only reason a celebrity would have to be in Hattiesburg is to go to sex rehab, who am I to argue?

Tiger (nee Eldrick Tont) joins the ranks of alleged celebrity sex addicts including (but not limited to): David Duchovny, Billy Bob Thornton, Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, Tom Sizemore, Bill Murray, Robbie Williams, Anthony Kiedes, Brittney Spears and Kanye West.


Dude. Did I just say Bill Murray? Weird.


Tiger Woods went to squeaky clean to sex addict in about six weeks. Life moves pretty fast, eh Tiger?


. . . . .

Goon Squad Sarah had no idea which really isn't that unusual for her.

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Aren't we all sex addicts? Sex is awesome.


eh. It might be a move to avoid a disastrous divorce. Maybe a diagnosis of sex addiction would dampen the infidelity charges. But if he's seeking treatment purely out of his hopes to get better, then this whole thing would make a lot of sense. Sex addiction is very real and can get very destructive, just like any other addiction.


I'm feeling smug because I totally called this. This is the celebrity trajectory that America LOVES: 1) person is on pedestal, 2) person falls from grace, hard, 3) person repents and rehabilitates.

He will be as popular as ever when he overcomes his struggle. I promise you, his handlers encouraged this...

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

@BHJ Yeah, but if I went to rehab it would make my husband sad.


wait--britney is a sex addict too? how did i miss that?

uh, notice that list is all men and britney. i was pretty sure this alleged sex addition was male only. nice to know it is an equal opportunity addiction.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

I also read that Amy Winehouse was one, but I only saw it in one place so I didn't want to tarnish her good name.





Between Tiger's stint in rehab and Brett Favre's yearly "is he or isn't he" inner turmoil while he holes up in his Canebreak home, Hattiesburg is getting a lot of sports action.


Let's just leave Anthony Kiedis out of this sordid Mississippi golf sex story okay, Goon Squad Sarah?


Um, don't all public figures who get busted with a zipper problem decide to go into "rehab" for "sex addiction?" Such bullsh-t. "It's not my fault I'm a megalomaniacal cheater! I HAVE A DISEASE!" I don't believe in "sex addiction," I think it's a fancy psycho-babble term for "terrible self-control" and "very bad judgement," and the only thing that's getting rehabbed is your PR strategy. Blurg.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

@Laurie I am as surprised as you. I read his deal was internet porn.


So sad. I hope the day comes when we can find a cure for men saying "yes" when a bunch of hot women offer to have sex with us. Then maybe we'll be held accountable and not be able to blame a disease. By the way, I have kit-kat-itis. I'm starting a fund. Please help.

Suzy Q

What a load of shit. Sex addiction, my ass.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

@Mayopie Is there a rehab for Doritos? I always thought of it as a bad choice but now I see clearly that is has been
addiction this whole time.

Sent from my new and improved iPhone. Suckers.

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