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Andrew Koenig, Missing Star of Growing Pains, Spotted in Vancouver. Maybe.

Andrew_Koenig_Boner_Growing_Pains If there is one ironclad rule of television, it is this: young sitcom stars grow up to be damaged and deranged adults. Whether they rob convenience stores or spout off about the End Times, it's clear that they are the subjects of a strange experiment in the effects of studio lighting and laugh tracks on young minds.  And now you can add Andrew Koenig, former star of Growing Pains, to the list.

Koenig, who played Richard "Boner" Stabone on the sitcom, disappeared from Stanley Park on February 14th. Since then, Vancouver police confirm that there's been some activity on his phone and his bank card, which could mean that he's still alive and well and living off latte dregs and brownie crusts from any one of the 3,000 Starbucks in the Vancouver downtown core.  Seriously, plans are in the works to rename the City of Vancouver to "It's Just a Big Starbucks Now, Okay? Okay?  Yeah, that's right, you keep walking". I have no idea why they're planning on such an agressive rebranding strategy, but whatever.

Koenig runs the media site MonkeyGoLucky.com, which I highly recommend you visit. Because it is the most clunky, 2002-ish website I've ever seen.  Tables with heavy borders, uneven fonts, brutally resized images, and the whole thing set against dark purple panels with a black background.


You see?  You don't even want to visit the links section.

Reports of Koenig's struggle against depression have surfaced since his disappearance, but nothing speaks more clearly to Koenig's state of mind than this site, which looks like it was pushed out to sea ten years ago and has just now washed up somewhere on the Strait of Juan de Fuca.  This is the site of someone with ambition but no ability to follow through, someone lost in the overwhelming static of depression.  I hope that wherever and however they find Andrew Koenig, he gains some peace of mind.


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wait--is he really missing? this story has a sense of foreboding to it. i hope he is ok.


or that asshat kirk cameron kidnapped him and forced him to join his cult.

i like this idea better.


Cameron, for all his Jesus-freak...ish-ness? ...osity? (what IS the proper adjective here?) has actually been fairly low key on the God-O-Meter in reaching out to "Boner"...


given his general hardcore stance, i think he's handled this one pretty well.


Stories like these bother me, especially when it deals with former child stars. It's their "last hoorah" to make them famous one more time...but it just saddens me that they torture their friends and family this way.

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