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Carly Simon Reveals Subject of "You're So Vain." SPOILER: It's Not You.

You-re-so-vain-carly-simon One of music's longest-running blind items has been solved. Maybe. You know how these things are.

You-re-so-vain-carly-simon
Carly Simon confirmed that the answer to the puzzle --  the subject of "You're So Vain," who has been speculated to be everyone from Warren Beatty to Mick Jagger to James Taylor to Captain Kangaroo, probably -- is revealed in her upcoming new version of the song, packaged EVER SO CONVENIENTLY as part of her greatest hits album.

(Dick Ebersol, who bid $50,000 for the identity back in 2003, must be PISSED.)

She whispers his first name. But you can only hear it if you play the song backwards. Paul is dead! Hail Satan! Drink your Ovaltine!

Anyway. The name is "David." Which is really just more of a clue, and does not narrow things down very much, but that hasn't stopped everyone everywhere from making a ton of crazy guesses and/or claiming to know DEFINITIVELY which David she's referring to.

The New York Post notes that David Bowie and David Cassidy get ruled out based on other clues Simon has dropped -- the subject has an A, E, R in his name. Unless you're including MIDDLE names, which both totally work. And why wouldn't we? Nevertheless, they think it's David Crosby. Shut up, New York Post

The Sun claims to know that's actually David Geffen, who is openly gay and was the head of Simon's record label at the time. (His middle name is Lawrence.) Rather than being about a former lover, they say, the song is ACTUALLY about Simon being angry over Geffen's preferential treatment of Joni Mitchell. Oooh, plot twist! Meow! They have absolutely no extra inside information to verify this wild guess, but pretty much every media outlet is going with Geffen now. Shut up, Sun.

Simon has also repeatedly said that the song is about a "composite" of three people. Her husband has said that it's not even about anyone famous. So basically: The song is about a bunch of assholes in the 70s named David. HAPPY NOW?

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Comments

AmyC65

When you said "David", I did automatically think, "Geffen". Just 'cuz he seems so, you know, vain.

cindy w

Um, my husband's name is David, and he was born in the 70's. Bitch better not have been singing about my man.

Andrea (@shutterbitch)

I know a few Davids that could apply to...

Sofia

That last line made me happy on a bad day!

ClearlyDemented

I still don't really see what's so vain about thinking a song about you is about you.

Suzy Q

I know a guy named David. Maybe it's him. Or, maybe it's the David I went to kindergarten with. Perhaps the David who works at Home Depot? David Brinkley?

In any event, this is definitely going to keep me up at nights wondering. And drinking wine. Lots of wine. Curse you and your ridiculous, ambiguous secret that nobody cares about anymore, Carly!

Apryl's Antics

I know some vain Davids. Maybe it's the name that does it. Glad I already named my kids.

JustLinda

Wait. How is it possible it's not about me?

I think it's a riddle. David. Linda. Both have 5 letters, both have an A and a D and an I. Both are the names parents liked a lot in the 60s and 70s.

Plus, how could it NOT be about me?

I'm pretty sure I have it figured out. It's so awesome to be as smart as me.

MayoPie

I think it's my cousin David. He is kind of vain.

norm

David Baerwald, who was treated so poorly by Cheryl Crow?




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