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Either Fake Is the New Normal, Or Tina Fey Has Had Quite the Boob Job

Tina_fey_date_night So, I was heading into one of those Galaxy theatre monstrosities on the weekend to go see Avatar in 3D — which is worth it, I loved it, screw people's criticisms, stop overthinking stuff, etc. — and they had one of those two-storey high posters for Tina Fey and Steve Carell's new film, Date Night, plastered all over the side of the building. When my eyes travelled up, up, up, they couldn't help themselves but stop to rest on Fey's poorly photoshopped cleavage.

"What the hell is that?" I said, pointing out the poster to my friends. "Is fake the new normal?"

Twenty and thirty years ago, breasts, even the ones that were very much out in the public eye, were mostly natural-looking. They didn`t have to exemplify perfect symmetry and dodgeballs to be considered screen-worthy. They just had to be boobs. Take Farrah Fawcett, for instance.

Farrah_fawcett

See? The skin on her chest is not stretched like rubber. There's no swollen veininess. They're just awesome.

You don't see this kind of awesome as often anymore. Breast implants have become so common, so expected even, that the weird gully or ridge that wraps around the top portion of a woman's breasts when her implants are too large or the wrong shape has become normalized. Where once that gully was mocked as a sign of poor plastic surgery, now it is entirely normal to see in our present climate of bigger, rounder, better.

This picture of Radha Mitchell is a good example of this weird shaping around the upper breast:

The green line outlines where her corset shows her breast to be, and the red line shows where the bad photoshopping shows her breast to be. They don't even go together. They have her breast fat flowing up and over her collarbone, for god's sake.

Because of this new normal, Tina Fey's perfectly fine, natural-looking breasts pictured below:

were reworked so that, when they were the size of a small car on the side of a Galaxy theatre, they would look like this:

I know that the photoshopped shadows adorning the tops of her boobs don't look that severe at this small size, but I felt like I could fall into them when they were several feet high in broad daylight. She has shadows on top of her breasts. If that's the case, where in the hell is the lighting coming from?

I want fewer fake breasts in our media. I want fake to be the new stupid. I want natural to be the new normal. I want to go back in time and dial Heidi Montag's dodgeball boobs back down to a size that look less like flotation devices and more like, well, boobs.







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Comments

BaltimoreGal

I am gonna suggest that she had those chicken cutlet things shoved under her real boobs.
As demonstrated by Christina Applegate in the credits of "The Sweetest Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Evqad3QeG0

Joie

The appeal of Tina Fey in general and her photoshopped bewbs in particular is about as elusive to me as That One Thing that makes me stand in the grocery aisle asking myself what the hell was I supposed to buy? The more I consider them, the more I find them utterly forgettable.
On the other hand, YOU are marvelous.

vegas710

I love Tina Fey and I HATE when I see people I *like* get photoshopped into looking ridiculous. Her cleavage doesn't match her boobs. WTF.

jenny

looks to me like her face has been more photoshopped than her cleavage. i agree w/BaltimoreGal on the chicken cutlet thing. my 100% real cleavage looks kinda like that with the right (wrong?) bra. i hate that kind of photoshopping.

Jae

Yeah, I was gonna say, her face doesn't even look right let alone her boobs.

JAR

Miracle bra? Haha, Not!!

I am watching great superbowl commercials right now. They just showed the Cindy Crawford commercial. It occurred to me that her commercial was before photoshop was prevalent. She stands alone in her own smoking hotness.

Keep it real, Peeps.

Zakary

Agreed. There is nothing wrong with a nice pair of regular ol' boobs.

Erin

Tina Fey is the shit, boobs, fake boobs, no boobs, man boobs. Can't wait to see the movie.

Heather

Here here!!

Heidi

Tina, heck--take a look at Steve's face. Looks like it was slapped on his body as an after-thought.




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