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Friday Combo Platter: Dripping in Animal Sex Appeal Edition

Friday_combo_platter Most of the MamaPop writers were snowed in for the past week. Correction: most of the MamaPop writers were snowed in WITH THEIR NO-SCHOOL-HAVING CHILDREN FOR THE PAST WEEK. Therefore, you will have to forgive the slightly manic tinge that our thread of the week has.

Rod-stewart Subject: Fwd: Billboard - Top 50 Sexiest Songs of All Time

Sweetney: In case someone needs something to write about/make fun of :)

SEXIEST SONGS OF ALL TIME 

1 PHYSICAL Olivia Newton-John   

2 TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT (GONNA BE ALRIGHT) Rod Stewart   

3 I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU Boyz II Men   

4 TOO CLOSE Next   

5 LET'S GET IT ON Marvin Gaye   

6 HOT STUFF Donna Summer   

7 DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME Captain & Tennille   

8 LIKE A VIRGIN Madonna   

9 KISS YOU ALL OVER Exile   

10 DA YA THINK I'M SEXY? Rod Stewart

Palinode: What about I Shot The Sheriff?

Adam P. Knave: Premature. Didn't shoot the deputy.

Palinode: Where was that deputy anyway?

Adam P. Knave: Won the superbowl. Went to Disneyworld.

kdiddy: Physical is number fucking one?!?!?! And Let's Get It On is FIVE?!??! I do not for a second believe that anyone involved in making this list has had anything close to sex. Seriously. My vagina recoiled at this.

Miss Banshee: nothing from the Deicide or Cannibal Corpse oeuvre? What a farce.

Schmutzie: Whut?! Where is Wham's Careless Whisper?!

Adam P. Knave: SAFE IN OUR HEARTS.

Karen Sugarpants: WHAT?  The Ying Yang Twins whispering "Wait 'till you see my dick" isn't on here?Travesty.

SnarkyAmber: Seriously, this list is so unsexy on the whole that it negates all the sex I've ever had. I have been revirginated by this list.

Karen Sugarpants: No Divinyls either?

SnarkyAmber: Karen, have you seen the Lonely Island parody of that song?

Karen Sugarpants: oh em gee Amber!  *snort*

Out-Numbered: Drop Dead Fred? Fuckin' Hell.

Palinode: This list has 99 problems but a sexy song ain't one.

Palinode: Actually, Let's Get It On is sexy.

SnarkyAmber: I would like to know why Rod Stewart is on this list TWICE. And why Sade isn't on it at all. I'm pretty sure Sade is responsible for 60% of all conceptions of the mid-to-late 1980s. But seriously, Rod Stewart? The thought of that dude makes my legs shut so tight you'd need a crowbar to get them open.

Mayopie: Because Rod Stewart is dripping in animal sex appeal. Right Ladies?

Karen Sugarpants: "dripping in animal sex appeal" - yeah, like a cow giving birth.  *barf*

Adam P. Knave: Well, yeah, how else do you think he gets his hair like that?

Palinode: Highlights:

 49 - She-Bop

44 - I Want Your Sex

37 - Pour Some Sugar On Me

34 - Sexual Healing

30 - Work It (Missy Elliott)

24 - Ignition

20 - Afternoon Delight (YEEEEAAHHHH)

Weirdly enough, Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer comes in at 30. Not the sexiest tune of all time. I think Shock The Monkey got me hotter.

Color Me Badd makes the top twenty. Fuck off.

One Prince tune, and that was Raspberry Beret. What the fuck is that about? Prince's grocery lists are sexier than Raspberry Beret.

And the most glaring omission of all is Ween's Let Me Lick Your Pussy.  That's about as sex-happy as it gets.

To be fair, the ratings have something to do with chart popularity and sales. But I can't get behind a list that doesn't feature Dean and Gene Ween screaming "I'll give you a massage like thirteen kings, baby!"* I still don't know what that means.

*I may not be remembering the lyrics correctly. But there's no way in hell I'm googling Ween lyrics at work.

kdiddy: I have not looked at the whole list, but I'm willing to bet Khia's "My Neck, My Back," and Akinyele's "Put It In Your Mouth" aren't on there either. Fucking amateurs.

* * *

Our comment of the week is of the WTF? variety on Kendra Wilkinson is Two Weeks Post-Partum and Looks Fabulous:

Regardless if it's Photoshopped or not, inevitably she'll go to heavier weights and have a more grueling workout schedule. Regardless of celebrity status or means to have procedures to cut the time between a belly and a flat stomach, I'm sure in this case, she's going to exercise regardless if she's going for a tummy tuck or not.

Karen Sugarpants: How many times can a doctor (?) say 'regardless' in our comments? I'll tell you: 3. In only 2 sentences. That's pure talent.

Mayopie: Regardless of whether or not she has a tummy tuck, I regard her as completely regardless for not regarding, having no regard and regardlessly regarding what should clearly not be regarded.

Adam P. Knave: Well let's face it. She is a bit of a regard, after all.

Out-Numbered: Like me, a complete and total, regard...

sweatpantsmom: It's as if Kendra herself wrote that comment.

Sweetney: Yeah, that's pretty fucking impressive. Regardless of how spammy this comment is, the lack of vocabulary is stunning. Regardless.

kdiddy: Don't you guys mean "irregardless?" Supposably?

TwoBusy: The proper spellling is "antidisirregardless."

Mayopie: Antidisirregardlessnesslyful

Karen Sugarpants: antidisestablishmentarianisgardless.  the *new* longest word in the english langauge.







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Comments

Jen O.

I can't look at that picture of Rod Stewart. Again. I looked at it once (twice) (three times a lady) and I'm now left wondering ad nauseum why, oh why, is he not wearing pants? A scarf? Of course. But pants? Please pants.

Snarky Amber

I forgot to mention in the thread that I have a friend who's in a Ween cover band called "Tender Situation". True story.

MayoPie

Man, I so wish I read this entire thread before I wrote my post on this.

"Prince's grocery lists are sexier than Raspberry Beret."

"My vagina recoiled at this."

"I have been revirginated by this list."

"Shock The Monkey got me hotter."

These are the best lines ever. Congratulations. You did it.

iambellaluna

I'm 95% sure Sade was responsible for my conception.

Marika

I hadn't thought about Ween in a long time, and I think I was happy about that.




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