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Kate Gosselin Is Coming Out with Another Book, And She Just Cut Off Her Stupid Hair Extensions, Because She Knows I Am So Right

Kate_gosselin_thumbOf course, you can't see Kate Gosselin's stupid hair extensions in the picture at the left, because that photo was taken prior to her stupid hair extensions when she had that other stupid hair that everyone mocked with Halloween wigs and she put out that other book called Multiple Blessings, only they put an 8 in for one of the Ses so the title read Multiple Bles8ings, which made it look more like Multiple Bleedings, but what do I know about publishing books?

Anyway, Kate Gosselin, formerly of the reality television show Jon & Kate Plus 8 and now a BESTSELLING AUTHOR — omigod, really? — is coming out with a third book.

Kate Gosselin's new book, due for release on April 13th, is called I Just Wanted You to Know: Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family, and it includes prayers, sections from her journal, and personal letters to each of her eight children.

Kate_gosselin_book_cover 

Check out those hair extensions! She said that she wasn't bothered by everyone's criticism of her ridiculous haircut before, so I'm sure that she got her new hair extensions for her, you know, to please herself.

[UPDATE: Ms. Gosselin totally tried to screw me over by cutting off her stupid hair extensions in a sad attempt to render half of this post so-five-minutes-ago before I even published it, but her ploy won't defeat me. I still kick ass, even if Kate is always one stupid haircut ahead of me. I remain unscathed.]

Personally, with her now blonder hair and de-oranged skin and highly skilled staff of airbrushers, I think she's trying to recast herself as some kind of overly pleasant, pastor's-wife type of character to separate herself as much as she can in the public eye from her skeezy ex-husband, Jon Gosselin. Her self-reinvention acts as an attempt to become the Anti-Douche to his Douche, if you will allow me to imagine this as some kind of near-apocalyptic battle of archetypes.

Of course, this scenario potentially casts Kate Gosselin as a superhero-ish, Jesus type who we would probably have to cheer for if the end was nigh and she was our only hope against the terrifying force of Jon Gosselin's distended belly clad in Ed Hardy skulls. Let's hope this never comes to pass.

Jon_gosselin

At any rate, she and her new hair are putting out a new book that seems bent on impressing us with just how nice she is and how she radiates so much warmth and, man, does she ever love her precious babies, and I think there's a nod to God in there, too, although the word "Faith" in the title is a trifle vague and could mean she believes in the Giant Mama Nannygoat, for all we know.

Her kids are never ever going to need thousands and thousands of dollars worth of therapy now after her book hits the New York Times bestseller list. They are so damn lucky.

[source]

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Schmutzie has the heebie-jeebies.







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Comments

Condo Blues

Maybe she cut off her hair extensions because she realized it made her look like Kathy Lee Gifford. Not a great role model there either.

JellyBean

Maybe she cut off her extensions for a "Locks of Love" type charity for reality stars down on their luck who can't afford their own extensions.

lori

@JellyBean: BEST. COMMENT. EVER.
hhhhhhhahahahaha

michele

i think she looks pretty on the cover of that new book. and i think everyone is a bit too hard on her silly hair. if anyone else had that hair no one would comment, let alone maliciously.

Jgamma

I have to agree with Michele; lots of women have that exact hair and no one even notices.

Karen

Well, the thing is, when Kate *had* her ridiculous upside-down hedgehog hairdo, she would say things like how other people wished they could have her hair, and how her haircut was just wonderfully chic.

Funny thing, i seem to remember that Jon the Douche preferred her hair long; she cut it off after having kids (lots of moms do, shorter do=less time grooming when you have babies). She also let it go brown. He preferred her hair long and blonde...hmm.

ClearlyDemented

The hair doesn't bother me nearly as much as the fact that this woman can't even write a letter to her kids without going public. Then again, maybe she thinks only publishers have copy machines and she didn't want to write them eight times. Understandable.

JAR

Someone should tattoo "I am Ed Hardy's bitch" on Jon's forehead. Then he could take off the ridiculous t-shirts that he's too old for and save my eyes the pain.

Kate doesn't look like herself at all on the book cover. Is it photoshop or the extensions? I like the hair style but I still don't see her.

Word up, Kate, if those letters were really meant for your children you wouldn't publish them for a buck.




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