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LOMGST! Lost Recap - What Kate Does

LostFinalSeasonPoster Previously on Lost: Once upon a time, Sawyer happily played house with Juliet in the Dharma village of the 1970s, until she got sucked down a electromagnetically charged shaft and died in Sawyer's arms (OR DID SHE? That's in Dimension #1, you'll recall). Sawyer is PISSED at Jack and blames him for Juliet's death (though isn't he really in love with Kate? Whatever, I can't keep track of all the romantic triangles and quadrangles and other odd geometric shapes at this point). Everyone gets captured by island Huns, who seem simultaneously sinister and helpful, as they bring Sayid back to life by holding him face down in a giant poopy jacuzzi, and then continue holding him down until they drown him, which doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but then again, really, how much of this show does? Unsurprisingly, an hour later, Officially Proclaimed Dead Sayid inexplicably sits up, looks around, and is all, Dude, WTF? BOOM!

Lost-Kate-Sawyer . . . . .

Back at the Temple Of Doom, Sayid is just as confused as everyone else about his death and reanimation, and Sawyer -- who has gone from the jaded and cynical Sawyer we all know and love to an unappealingly angry and bitter Sawyer in the wake of Juliet's death -- begins plotting his escape from Hunville.

Meanwhile, over in Dimension #2 (the one in which they never crash on the island), Kate -- having eluded U.S. Marshall dude -- commandeers Claire's cab at the airport. After the very smart cabbie bolts at a stoplight, Kate takes the wheel and dumps Claire on the side of the road, hysterical, blubbering and extremely pregnant.

Back at the Temple, Jack notes that Sayid's once-fatal wound has miraculously healed over. Sayid is MAGIC! Sayid thanks Jack for saving his life, and Jack doesn't say anything to dispel that misconception, which I think we can all agree is kind of assy. The Huns then appear -- lead by Fu Man Chu and that dude from Deadwood -- and ask to speak with reanimated Sayid in private. A scuffle ensues, which is broken up by several gunshots issuing from Bitter Sawyer's pistol. Bitter Sawyer says Fuck you guys I'm outta here! Fu Man Chu replies, in hushed and ominous tones, "Please, you have to stay." Bitter Sawyer squints and growls, "No I don't," and both he and the chip on his shoulder exit through the gigantic wooden doors. Deadwood guy turns and asks Jack where "Ford" went -- he means Sawyer, but interesting that he called him Ford, no? -- at which point Kate leaps up to volunteer to track and bring Sawyer back, because Sawyer will follow her boobies anywhere, one presumes.

In Dimension #2 Kate pulls her stolen cab into a service station and charms the mechanic inside with her gun, getting him to break her out of her handcuffs. After, she takes one of Claire's bags to the station bathroom to slip into something a little less APB Description-matching, only to find it's actually a diaper bag, filled with useless-to-her baby stuff, including a giant stuffed Orca. Kate thinks, Oh god, I'm a piece of shit, and she's right.

Over in Hunville, Kate is preparing to leave with Jin and two accompanying Huns in search of Sawyer. Jack gets all smooshy with Kate and for a second it looks like he might try to go in for a kiss. Poor Jack, anyone else feel he's getting kind of pathetic at this point? In another part of the Temple, Fu Man Chu is torturing Sayid with electric shocks and hot pokers -- NICE. Dude, the guy was just DEAD, when does he get a break already, huh? It seems Fu is testing Sayid by way of this torture for... something. To see if he turns into the smoke monster? What? It's not clear. But what IS clear is that a red hot poker to the chest hurts like hell, and that when these Hun guys say they want to "talk to you in private," you'd better fucking run. After a while, Deadwood guy enters and takes off Sayid's restraints. He tells Sayid they had to torture him -- that it was a test, and he passed. When Sayid exits the room, Deadwood guy says to Fu: "I just lied to him, didn't I?" Fu replies, grimly: "Yes." DUN DUN DUHHHHH.

Back in D2, Kate -- feeling guilty after the whole diaper bag episode -- goes back to find Claire and picks her up at a bus stop, offering her a ride and her luggage back. Oddly, despite being kidnapped at gunpoint by this person just a short while back, Claire accepts Kate's offer and asks her to drive to tony Brentwood, where the adoptive family of Claire's baby lives. Let's just hope it's not O.J..

In the jungle, Kate, Jin, and two Huns trudge along, tracking Sawyer. One of the Huns turns out to be an Other Kate pistol-whipped back in the Dharma Village days, and he holds a serious grudge. The four stumble across one of Rousseau's awesome jungle booby traps, which Kate unleashes on the two Other-Hun dudes, knocking them unconscious. She then tells Jin that her intent was always to escape Hunville, and that once she finds Sawyer she'll... uhh... whatever. Make like Adam and Eve and repopulate Dharma Village with him. I don't know. And she doesn't seem to either.

Lost-foo-deadwood Over in yonder Temple, Jack is right pissed about Sayid getting tortured, and goes to Fu/Deadwood, asking for an explanation. Fu and Deadwood say a bunch of vague-but-alarming-sounding stuff about Sayid being "infected," and give Jack a capsule filled with green herbal-ish looking stuff, telling him Sayid will get, like, RLY RLY TOTALLY SICK AND STUFF if Jack doesn't convince him to take it. Fu also lays a pretty heavy guilt trip on Jack, pointing out that Sayid got shot helping him, so now's Jack's chance to redeem himself. Jack is all: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight, but nevertheless goes to Sayid, tells him about the weirdo-creepy talk he just had with Fu, and finally breaks the news that he didn't save Sayid, the Fu fighters did. Jack offers Sayid the Fu "medicine." Sayid says he'll take it if Jack tells him that he should. But we all know Jack is a gutless turd.

Off in the jungle, Jin tells Kate he's going back to Hunville, because he thinks they might know where his beloved Sun is. Kate is dubious, but Jin is adamant about going back. He asks Kate, pointedly, who SHE cares about -- and when he says it, it sounds a little something like Oh I am SO calling you out on your bullshit right now.

Kate. Have a mentioned lately how much I HATE Kate? And how much a whole entire episode focusing on JUST HER and her annoying, pouty mug is making me stabby? Aaaaaanyway, in D2 Kate and Claire arrive at the Brentwood home of Claire's baby's adoptive family, only to find that adoptive Dad-to-be left adoptive Mom-to-be, so there is to be no adoption (see what I did there?). This promptly sends Claire into hysterical labor. Aces!

Kate emerges from the jungle at Dharma Village, where Sawyer is enthusiastically tearing up the floor in the bedroom of the home he once shared with Juliet. He pulls a box from under the floorboards and begins emotionally fondling the contents (a dark piece of cloth, it looks like - we only get a glimpse). Kate, watching from the doorway, gets all oogied out and tries to creep away, but she's too stupid to not get caught. Sawyer is NOT happy to see Kate.

In-hysterical-labor-Claire of D2 arrives by stolen cab at the hospital, and Kate ushers her in. OKAY, THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET WEIRD. Claire's attending physician? MOTHERFREAKIN ETHAN. Yes, THAT Ethan. He's all white-coated, but as creeptastic as ever. Turns out Claire could have the baby NOW, or take some drugs to stop the delivery -- Dr. Ethan leaves the choice to Claire, but adds, "I don't want to have to stick you with needles if I don't have to." HAHAHAHAAA THAT'S A JOKE, RIGHT? Claire opts for the drugs, but just then the baby appears to flatline. Claire, hysterical (again), cries "Is Aaron okay?" -- AS IF SHE ALREADY KNEW THE BABY'S NAME. Weirdness. But it turns out that, yes, Aaron is okay... though now he has Ethan as his doctor, which I think we'd all agree is distinctly NOT okay.

Lost-claire-ethan

Kate follows Sawyer out to the Dharma dock, and tells him she came back to the island to find a way to reunite Claire and Aaron. There's some back-and-forth about which one of them is responsible for Juliet's death, and Sawyer pulls a ring out and reveals that he was going to ask Juliet to marry him. He tosses the ring into the water, says some stuff about being meant to be alone because he's a loner and a rebel, gets all weepy, and leaves Kate on the dock. Kate is all But I'm pretty too! and cries. 

Jack returns to The Office Of The Fu and tells Fu (whose name is Dogen, it turns out, but I prefer Fu, I hope you understand) he didn't make Sayid take the capsule, because he didn't know what was in it, and also because he's an EPIC pussy. Fu says Jack has to trust him, and Jack laughs at him. "We'll see where trust gets us," he snorts, and pops the capsule Fu gave him for Sayid into his mouth. Fu leaps on Jack and begins the most EXXXXTREME application of the Heimlich maneuver I've ever seen (Heimlich: This Time, It's Personal), trying to get Jack to cough up the capsule, which he eventually does. Cough-choking, Jack says, finally, "Now are you going to tell me what's in it?" Fu replies, flatly: "Poison." Like, duh.

Back in D2 the authorities finally arrive at the hospital in search of Kate. Claire convinces them Kate -- who as luck would have it was tucked off in an adjoining room at that moment -- just dropped her at the hospital and is long gone. Kate emerges after the cops leave and is all, I gotta split, holmes. Claire offers Kate her credit card, because apparently Claire is a whole lot dumber than I thought. Kate, apropos of nothing, tells Claire she thinks she should keep the baby. Shut up, Kate.

At Dharma Village, Kate fills her canteen and watches a morose Sawyer stumble back into his once happy-with-Juliet home. Kate thinks, I'm not just pretty! I'm kind of smart, too! KIND OF!

Fu and Jack have a little post-Heimlich sit-down, in which Fu reveals that they wanted to poison Sayid because they believe he's been "claimed." Fu goes on to say some creepy shit about Sayid worth quoting verbatim: "There is a darkness growing in him, and once it reaches his heart, everything your friend once was will be gone." Uhh, guys? That sounds, umm, BAD. Jack asks Fu how he knows this. "Because it happened to your sister," he replies. Jack's all: What sister? HUH? *Cue shrill, ominous strings.*

Back in the jungle, Jin gets jumped by the two Other-Huns Kate successfully Rousseau-trapped in order to make her escape earlier in the episode. The Other-Huns debate about whether or not they should kill Jin. Upon hearing this debate, Jin tries to make a break for it but gets his leg snapped in what looks like a bear trap. OUCH is probably too small a word here. The Kate-pistol-whipped-me embittered of the two Other-Huns approaches Jin and makes like he's gonna gun him down like a dog, when suddenly, he himself is shot down, as is his much less trigger-happy comrade. Who's doing the shooting? Good question! Jin looks up to see who just saved his ass and beholds (WAIT. FOR. IT.)... Claire. Holding a rifle, bedraggled and dirty, Claire has totally gone feral and Shades Of Rousseau.

LOMGST!1!!!!!!

. . . . .
Sweetney is a writer, geek, and professional smartass from beautiful Baltimore, MD.






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Comments

Vaedur

I really enjoyed this episode, but..
MOre questions.. less answers.. make it stop!!
My coworker kinda said.. is what happeneing to Sayid and Locke what happened to Russo's compainions.. makes sense to me.

katerizero

hee hee... poopy jacuzzi. :D

Suzy Q

This season is seriously fucking with my mind. Did we really need the huns? How the hell did NO ONE ever find/see them before? Are they Dharma descendants? Why did they bring Sayid back to life only to kill him again? Seemed to me the job was already done. Although, I also thought Sawyer buried Juliet a bit too soon, IYKWIM. You never know with this island.

D1 v. D2: The Cage Match of Mystery. WTF?

MayoPie

It all totally makes sense to me now. I had stopped watching somewhere around the beginning of last season. More of a time issue, but now I'm all caught up and totally not confused in any way, shape or form.

Kimberly

GREAT recap! The only thing that would have made last night's episode better would have been an open thread here. Oh, how I missed it!!! Next week?

Amy

I hate Kate too! Always have, from the very beginning. Episodes like this make it abundantly clear what a FOOL she is. She always makes the worst possible decisions. Bah.

@SuzyQ - the peeps at the Temple (huns as y'all are calling them) are just more Others. Part of the Richard Alpert/Charles Widmore/kill off the Dharma Initiative and set up Ben Linus as our leader Others. Specifically, at the end of Season 3, after Ben and the Others abandoned Dharmaville, Ben told Richard to take a group of the others and hide out in the Temple, and Cindy and those two kiddos (all 815 survivors) were in that group. So actually, these Temple-dwellers are tying up a plot loose-end that has been dangling since Season 3.

Dude, I am such a nerd.

Raachel

Not the hot dude from Deadwood, aka Sheriff Hottie, unfortunately. Can't win them all.

Liked this episode. It seems to disprove the theory that Sayid is now Jacob -but what do I know?

Amalah

"Kate thinks, Oh god, I'm a piece of shit, and she's right."

*breaks out in crazy mad applause*

Loukia

OMG. Having just watched LOST a couple of times, congrats on pretty much the best re-cap ever! Ever! And because of this, I'm simply not going to bother watching last night's episode. I was trying to get into it, but I can't. It's just too much for my sleep deprived brain right now...

cindy w

Wait, Jack knows that Claire is his half-sister, doesn't he? Because when the Oceanic 6 finally got back to L.A., they had the funeral for his dad & Claire's mom showed up & told him? Right? Or was that Other Dimension Jack? Dear GOD, I'm confused.

Also, I liked when the 2 huns were in the jungle with Jin & Kate, and they came across the 1st (non-bear) trap, Kate said it was Rousseau's, and the dumber of the two guys was all "Nah, she's been dead for years, it must be..." And the Angry Hun shushed him. So I guess they knew that Claire was out there all Rousseau'ed up and trigger-happy?

P.S. I miss flirty Sawyer. Angry Sawyer is totally killing my boner for him.

rkmama

I was trying to adequately describe the extreme measures Head Hun-cho was using on Jack to get that pill out and "Heimlich: This Time, It's Personal" sums it up just about perfectly.
Awesome recap.

Suzy Q

Thanks, Amy! I'm still confused, bit a bit less so.

RockyCat

"Kate thinks, I'm not just pretty! I'm kind of smart, too! KIND OF!"

hahahahahahaha

This is priceless.

Missy Rose

your recount MIGHT just be better than watching the actual show. i will be sure to tune into LOMGST weekly. fa sho!




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