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The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 6

The_biggest_loserFor 6 weeks I pursued her but she remained a step ahead. All she left behind were empty cans of Monster Lo-Carb Energy Drink and the old fat clothes she no longer fit inside. BANSHEEEEEE! I wailed and shook my fists. Until today, my friends. BHJ: 21 pounds. Miss Banshee: 20 pounds. Amber & TwoBusy: tied for 3rd with 12 pounds apiece.

BHJ lost 5 pounds for a total of 21 pounds. I had a solid week of milestones. My weight for this weigh in was 199. The 200 pound monkey is finally off my back (barely). I just capped off my first 40 mile week. After running every single day in 2010, I just passed the 200 mile mark. Tonight, I ran 6 miles in just over 48 minutes. And, this is perhaps the sweetest of all: I took the lead. Actually, no, wait. Miss Banshee has been a gracious leader for 5 weeks so I'm going to take the noble path and follow her lead. Actually, no, fuck it. I TOOK THE LEEEEEAAAD!

Kurt lost 3 pounds for a total of 7 pounds. "Stress and Anxiety is my "less-exerty" way to shed those unwanted pounds! It's like doing crunches WITH YOUR MIND! I don't know. No appetite equals less eating is my point. I'm fully expecting a bounce back in the wrong direction next week, but I will attempt to maintain the appropriate negative growth."

Miss Banshee lost 2 pounds for a total of 20 pounds." Other than lookin' like a fool with my pants on the ground, I feel great. 10 more to goal. Will take donations of belts and suspenders. I still hate working out and Jillian Michaels and her ass face."

Amalah lost 2 pounds for a total of 3 pounds. "Sigh. Was hoping to at least lose that last three pounds of vacation weight this week, but alas. My diet is good -- small portions, healthy snack choices, all that. The problem is exercise. As in: I'm not doing it much. Or at all. Being snowed in has me depressed and irritated and lethargic. I bought two more exercise DVDs that are still in the plastic. My Wii Fit is somewhere under the couch. Blah. This needs to change."

Amber lost 2 pounds for a total of 12 pounds. In spite of finding her way to the leader board, Amber has no comment. But in case you missed it, BHJ took the lead.

Mayopie lost 2 pounds for a total of 9 pounds. "1 pound to go. I'm thinking of cutting off my hand. The left one. I got back on track by starving during the day and stuffing myself with cheese and sugar at night. The only exception was yesterday when I downed a chocolate milk at lunch. I think my vision is starting to blur and delirium is setting in, but the good news is, I met a talking fish and we built a rainbow together."

Sweatpants Mom lost 2 pounds for a total of 7.5 pounds. "Yay. I definitely stepped up the exercise this week, mostly on the Wii Fit Plus. Trying to chase that fucking clown on their Segway exercise really burns the calories. Food wise I felt like I really fell off the wagon over the holiday weekend because we were eating out ALOT, but it didn't seem to make too much of a difference. One thing that my husband and I are doing whenever we eat out is splitting an entree -- the portions they serve in most restaurants are made for four people anyways. Of course, we never split our cocktails -- that would be criminal."

Kelly lost 1.5 pounds for a total of 8 pounds. "Back on board after last week's blizzard and brokeness-will-continue meltdown."

TwoBusy lost 1 pound for a total of 12 pounds. "After a week and a half of sloth and gluttony (these are few of my faaaaaavorite things) I'm rediscovering the joys of deprivation, pain, and the keening sound my treadmill makes when I abuse it. Awesome."

Jodi lost 1 pound for a total of 5 pounds. "1/2 way to my goal.  Frankly I'm a little shocked I lost anything this week b/c we had 3 parties this weekend, one of which was a cheese fondue party, and went out for a Valentine's dinner that involved homemade pasta and tiramisu.  So I'm pretty pleased.  I've added running to my workouts, and I hate running with a passion, but I think sometimes you have to shake your body into submission."

Motherbumper maintained her 10 pound loss, which was her goal. "Maintaining via walking every. Single. Freaking. Day. The neighbours are probably reporting me to Crime Watchers. Also I reward myself daily with one cookie. It seems to work but I sense I will snap soon and binge on the entire box."

Jennie lost and gained 0 pounds for a total of 11 pounds. "This week was INSANE. Lots of eating out. Lots of champagne and beer. My husband and I have a pizza/beer Valentine's tradition and I translated that into multiple slices of pizza and a half pitcher of beer. To see no weight gain was actually a little relieving. I'm hoping for a big number this week since my Couch to 5K program is at the point where I'm now running miles (PLURAL OMG) without walking breaks.

Karen lost and gained 0 pounds for a total of 6 pounds. Karen also has no comment. But BHJ took the lead.

Palinode lost and gained 0 pounds for a total of 7 pounds. "Holding steady. But curiously, my waistline seems to have shrunk. Or my pants are slowly expanding in the night."

Schmutzie lost and gained 0 pounds for a total of 9 pounds. "I think I just caught the flu! So this last little bit should be easy."

Sarah (-4.5 pounds) and Outnumbered (-8 pounds) are on vacation. Let's hope they're not on vacation from self love and health.

So, drum roll, week 6 brings our collective weight loss, drum roll continues, to...

Yup, drums still rolling. It's edge of your seat nerve wracky.

Drums, etc..

160-gif_feb09 Feast your eyes on this cutting edge animated graphic technology. MamaPop, in its relentless will to dazzle via multiple degrees of sparkle, has done nothing short of turning our collective weight loss into a full blown media spectacle. Go ahead. Take a moment to gaze at it. You don't see this kind of internet phenomena every day on those othe pop culture sites. Gaze on. Gaze on. We have time.

Are you good? I mean. You can come back and show your friends.

*

So anyway, 160 POUNDS OF FAT BURNED AND MELTED OFF OUR OVER BURDENED SKELETONS. It's a wondrous day. Seriously. Think about it. 42 days. Every single day, 3.8 pounds of disgusting fat melts off the MamaPop collective.Last week we had 138 pounds so we took a nice 22 pound chunk off the MamaPop Blubber Number.

317 (MamaPop Blubber Number) MINUS 160 (MamaPop Collective 6 Week Loss) EQUALS 157 (Pounds To Go To Meet Our Goal.)

Let's break it down like this. We did 160 pounds in 6 weeks. We need 157 more in the next 7 weeks. On the surface, it looks easy, more than possible. But there's this bad vibe, you know? It's like the momentum got sucked right out of us and I'm worried. I'm worried that we're going to fail and that I'll have to bear the weight of that failure on my shoulders. 

So I need suggestions. We all live so far apart, it's hard to support one another. Maybe I could Skype with the staff members and, you know, assess them, help them articulate where they're at, what they need, if they have any issues. Maybe I could yell at them and find my way into their nightmares.

What? HELP! This was a great idea and now people are having family issues and they're considering the validity of fat acceptance and there's concerns about eating disorders. Of course you realize that MamaPop is a seething cauldron of mental illness. That's it's appeal. But how can one turn all this mental instability into healthy lifestyles? I'm in over my head.

If you've got no sound advice for me, pray to the week 7 Gods. Please. Half these people are slamming wine and eating pizza and blaming it on snowstorms. I need help. 6 weeks ago I was all abuzz with the feeling of making a positive impact and now Outnumbered is in Jamaica eating hamburgers for breakfast. Sarah's doing that blogging chick thing with the hamburger bags on their hands. God help us. 7 weeks. 157 pounds. Here we come. We're writing and sweating and we don't want just a little. We want all that shit. We want it all.







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Comments

TwoBusy

1. I'm pretty sure we all need to get "MamaPop is a seething cauldron of mental illness" on t-shirts.

2. On an unrelated note, I think the cutting edge animated graphic technology just gave me a seizure.

Muskrat

Y'all are the shit! Especially the folks who live places that are cold. When Atlanta got cold, I quit running outside...which is to say, I quit running (cause gyms and treadmills are expensive).
@Mayopie, left hands are overrated.

Jamie

I totally just get lost in the graphic. Hum...no tips for motivation other than being accountable to someone other than yourself who will give you disapproving looks when you don't lose weight. Works like crazy, spinny graphics.

Suzy Q

-2 for me this week, for a total of 6. I am drinking wine tonight to celebrate. Of course, I drink wine every night, but at least I eat salad, too.

Katie

Mayopie, can I join your party, pretty please?




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