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American Idol's Top 12

AmericanIdol This week, America voted. And this week America lost its damn mind. Before I get into who gets to start making cheesy Ford commercials and who doesn't, it should be said that I truly don't think this season of American Idol is the worst of the show's nine years. Not by far. To prove that point, let's take a quick look back at who sang (horribly off-key) before.

Although, it would only take two words to drive my point home and those two words would be: Clay Aiken. In season two Clay Aiken was the RUNNER-UP. HE ALMOST WON. Out of that season's top 24, 22 contestants were worse than CLAY. AIKEN. Yeah, when season nine's contestants find themselves on some blog or message board reading about how awful they all are, they need only respond with those two words.

We will all be put in our place.

Or, if they're feeling ballsy, they could say this name: Bucky Covington. Come on, that's funny enough even if you don't watch American Idol. He was in the top 12 of season 5.

Then there's the season where only one name is really necessary to remind viewers that having to watch Ellen give kind of awkward feedback isn't nearly as bad as having to watch SANJAYA perform "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." Or perform anything. Or stand there and smile.

Although I don't see anyone as good as David Cook on the stage this season (yet?), I don't see anyone as bad as some of the contestants from years past.

WITH ALL THAT SAID, AND THAT WAS A LOT OF TALKING, America dropped the effing ball last night. Or the mic stand. Or little Ryan Seacrest. Whatever. They got it very, very wrong, and it's going to make watching it from here on that much more difficult. If you have hated this season from the moment Avril Lavigne appeared on your screens in the audition weeks then just de-program the DVR and possibly tune into Modern Family instead (coughbestshowonTVcough).

KatelynEpperly The first contestant who was sent packing was Katelyn Epperly, who was really good except she chose Carole King for her performance this week and nothing says I'm a fun, contemporary artist like Carole King, am I right? So, Katelyn bombed. She went home. Disappointing but not necessarily surprising. She then had to sing that Carole King song again because....well, truly, I don't know. Whose ridiculous idea was it to have kicked-off contestants sing one last time before they go? Because cringing through a performance that was already bad only gets more fun when you add sobbing and shattered dreams.

Todrick Hall got sent home next and everyone was all, "good effort last night but not enough; so sorry!" Then we all moved on fairly quickly.

(But not before enduring a really awkward performance from last season's Matt Giraud and Scott MacIntyre. Unless you have DVR and then you endured a really awkward five seconds before zipping through the rest of it.)

AlexLambert We're down to two guys: Andrew Garcia and Alex Lambert. LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE. Alex is sent home. I don't think it should have been Andrew, no, but Alex is good! He has such potential! Oh my god, he's crying so hard, make it stop! I think he should have stuck around, so disappointing, yeah, definitely. But. Well. It gets worse.

We're down to two girls and it's between (annoying) Katie Stevens and Lilly Scott and I turn to my husband and say, "Good, Katie's going home. She annoys me. She's a little David Archulet-y for me." I won't tell you my husband's response but it was something about proper verb usage. LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE AGAIN. Lilly is voted off. 

LillyScott

AND LILLY IS PISSED.

AND SO AM I.

She could have won the whole thing, and when someone that good goes home that early, you just know you're in for a beating this season. 

I kept saying, "AMERICA GOT IT WRONG! WRONG!" Then I stomped around, just to make sure my anger was properly received.

"Well, uh, did YOU vote?" my husband asked (annoyingly).

Damn.







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Comments

Anastacia

WHATTHEFUCKINGSHITDAAMNHELL?

Lilly was my second favorite girl and WTF? What did Carol Brady ever do to anyone except KICK MAJOR ASS on every song he sung on that stage?? Ray LaMontagne? My Carol was brilliant, and yet they keep that sad-sack Dickenian street urching, whose name I can't even remember (and who I actually like as a person I don't even know, but man, I am PISSED right now). SAVE CAROL! SAVE THE MULLET!!

Do the judges still have that clause they did two years ago where they can rescue a person? Because they should have last night. America has lost its damn mind. Minds. Whatever.

Anastacia

Urchin. Not urching.

Megan

I didn't vote, I never have, and I don't plan on it. But apparently there are a ton of 12 year old girls who do. WTF? Why oh why is Tim Urban still there and Alex Lambert is not?!! I'll tell you why: 12 year old girls!

Issa

I am shocked that Alex and Lily went home. Well Alex at least. I think Lily didn't get that tween vote and that's who is really voting. I think the truth is, that every season this happens. It's not always about the talent, it's about who is seen as popular. Middle school popular.

If it were up to me, I'd name Michael and Crystal both winners tomorrow and start over. Ha.

steff

ok.
1st - Modern Family FTW! such. an awesome show.
2nd - booting Alex? for reals? im not shocked but im soooooooooooo disappointed. i thought he was one of the most vocally different contestants they've had in a while.
3rd - don't kill me...
BUT
for the last 2 weeks i've been slave-ing away on idol recaps bc, well, why not?
and if i do say so myself they are much more entertaining than this season's cast of characters has proven thus far.
so, if you enjoy reading blog posts that include really poorly crafted Paint JPEGS and pictures of Idol wannabes being compared to fictional characters or K.D. Lang, then come find me.
open 24/7
ok, im done.

Kimberly

I am APPALLED that they voted out all 4 of them. America was on crack this week...and no, I did not vote so I am totally part of the problem. I think everyone dvrs tv now...so voting gets fucked.

mommaruthsays

I keep maintaining that one of these days all of us "older" generations that adore Idol but never vote are going to stick it to the "man" AKA all those damned teenage kids blowing up their phones by voting for prom kings and cheerleaders (is that too stereotypical of me?)...

I loved Lilly and I loved that she didn't just play it off like it wasn't a big deal - she was mad and shocked and so was the rest of American minus the screaming fangirls.

I loved Mullet Boy, too - he was my #1 boy. And now he's gone. And I fear that Dreadlock Girl, my other #1, is going to be going home soon.

She doesn't fit the "cookie cutter" image that Fox and Idol are still all about.

DAMMIT!!!!!!

Jen

You're right. This season is by far the worst season of the nine. Every week, I struggle to pinpoint that diamond in the rough, that one singer who rocks my socks off (a la David Cook or Chris Daughtry), and I'm just not really feeling it. Sure, I like Lee and Didi, but not enough to really care.

I wasn't sad to see Lilly go (sorry, too screechy, and her witch hair bugged the crap out of me), and Alex totally got voted off for his mullet. I think if somehow Alex's talent could've morphed with Tim Urban's looks, that'd be the winner.

Overall, though: eh. It's Simon Cowell's last season, and probably mine, too.




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