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Axl Rose Pelted With Water Bottle During Concert: I Think That's Great


During a show in San Paolo, Brazil, one lucky fan was given the opportunity to not only throw something at, but actually hit Axl Rose in the midsection with a water bottle while he was perf... perf... making noise with his face. I thought it a proportionate response to what can only be considered a vicious attack on the senses. Don't get me wrong, I love Guns N' Roses. It's just that... Axl Rose is not Guns N' Roses. He's Rose. And Rose sucks.

Here's part of your problem, Axl. Can I call you Axl? Too bad, you're lucky I'm not throwing shit at you. When you go into hiding for 12 years to produce a masterpiece, and emerge with a piece of something, people are going to throw things at you. Especially if you add insult to injury by trying to perf... perf... make it come out of your face in public. The people want to hear Take Me To The Jungle not Take Me To The Doctor My Ears Are Melting.


Despite what I feel his expectations should be, he does not like it when people hurl things at him. (I think he's a baby.) Rose would issue a threat to the crowd after reminding them they would not have any events like they had the other night, when apparently other people were throwing shit at them.

Axl:  You wanna fuck up the show for everybody? You wanna fuck with me and my boys? We will leave.

Audience (word for word in my mind):  First, Axl, no one was throwing anything at your boys. Let's not confuse the issue. Second, I think we can all agree that was the best thing that happened so far this evening, so let's not get all accusatory about who's ruining what for everybody. Lastly, if you're telling us you'll leave if we throw shit at you, you may want to hit the dirt.

In all fairness, I've never heard the entire new Guns N' Roses album entitled Angry Birds Being Culled. I got about half-way through the first song and all my plants died, so I had to turn it off. I was going to review it later, but I heard Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters' opinion when asked what his thoughts were on the super band's latest efforts. I remember it almost word for word. It went something like, hahahahahaha.

But I didn't find it funny. I found it sad. Not for you, Axl, but for me. You're obviously sad and good luck with that, but not everything is about you, Axl (remember we said I can call you that). There are millions of people out there, just like me, who want throw shit at you. What about them? What about their needs? I think the least you can do is take a shot in the gut with a plastic bottle bottle every once in awhile. If you think about it, you're also just a plastic water encasement. Water bottles are like your babies. Embrace them, Axl.


Look at it like a tribute, like people are tossing roses, but roses would be redundant in this case, so instead they throw plastic in tribute to your new face. There you go. Look at it that way.

Or, maybe two audience members had a bet that if one threw a plastic bottle at you, you would absorb it and it would become a part of you. That's where I would have put my money. I was as surprised as anyone when it bounced off.

Or maybe someone just thought he was recycling. Ehh? Thats "green" and the right thing to do, so calm down.

See? Perspective. Don't think of it as someone wanting you to stop making awful noises, think of it as people helping you, Axl Rose, to save the planet. Wow. You. Planet saver. Like Bruce Willis, but totally plastic. A superhero born from the very material destroying our mother earth. I think that's pretty cool.

The water bottle is half-full, Axl. Stop being such an asshole about things.


MayoPie writes nonsense all of the time on his blog.

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Take me out to the juuuungle
Take me out to the veldt
Buy me some smack and some crystal meth
I don't care if we crank to the death

Apryl's Antics

If I had known I could chuck a water bottle at Axl Rose I would go. In fact, that would be the only way to get me to go. Plus, I'd have to be guaranteed a few tries. I'd even *buy a ticket* if I could watch him absorb plastic stuff.


I saw GNR in 1988ish and some guy stormed the stage 2 songs into the set, tackled Axl, and stole his diamond studded cop hat. Axl stood up all pissed and literally cried "Fuck it Grand Rapids. We're leaving!"

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