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Bachelor Finale Open Thread Tonight!

6a00d8341c5d9653ef0120a7eb1081970b You know you want it. You know you love it. You know it's going to be THREE HOURS OF AWESOME.

 So MamaPop will be hosting a Bachelor open thread tonight for the ENTIRE EXTRAVAGANZA. Join us, won't you, to speculate on who it will be, Vienna or Tenley? The dirty girl or the Disney Princess? I CAN'T WAIT. And neither can you. Join us at 8pm ET for the festivities! I'll bring the punch and pie. 

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Comments

Steph T.

I will have to pick up some mixers for my vodka. Tonights show will definitely necessitate drinking!

Amy H

Three hours. THREE HOURS.

The ONLY reason I won't DVR this hot mess and fast forward through the Valtrex commerials is because of this open thread. :-)

Angela

What should we be drinking to tonight?

A) Each time they show Jake's Abs?
B) Each time Tenley brings up her divorce?
C) Each time Jake mentions being a 'nice guy not finishing last'?

Alyssa

It will be Vienna. Because since the point of this show is to disgust me, he will obviously have to pick the girl with the orange skin and terrible, cheap dye job.

Fawn Amber

I'm totally down for this, even though I've read the spoilers and am pretty sure I know who he chooses. I'll ready the adult beverages.

Katie

I have loads of work to catch up with tonight...so count me in!

Sweetney

So this starts at 8pm ET?

Miss Banshee

@sweetney, this EPIC EVENT runs from 8-11 pm ET. And by EPIC EVENT, I mean this open thread, which is going to kick ass and take names.

Tami

@ Angela RE: drinking game

Take a shot every time:
a) Chris Harrison says it is going to be the most.dramatic.rose.ceremony.EVER!
b) Jake says "I have a connection with these amazing women."
c) Jake says "I've fallen in love with both of these women."

I knew a long time ago how this is going to end but there is no way I can't not watch this. It's just pure gold.

Have a good night ladies!

Tracy

I think we should drink anytime any one of them says "amazing." Seriously. Oh, and anytime Jake takes his shirt off.

Can't wait!!!!!

Anya

Is the open thread here - or do I have to go somewhere else? I'm so excited! It just started!

Fawn Amber

OK am I in the right place??

Miss Banshee

Are we here?? Sound off like you've got a pair!

anya

He's so in love! With both of them! Drink!

wxgddss

Me Needs Me Some Bachelor in Real Time (not Pacific)

Miss Banshee

Early predictions? Will Tenley bring her Disney woodland creatures? Will Vienna admit that she's in her late 30s? WHAT WILL HAPPEN!

Melissa

I'm here! Who will it be?

Fawn Amber

I do enjoy a man in a salmon shirt.

Tracy

This isn't supposed to happen? You're also not supposed to find your fiance on a reality show...but here we are.

Fawn Amber

I will not make a prediction as I read spoilers. But am not happy.

Miss Banshee

I'm having issues wth the sister? Cousin? Niece? in the blue jumper. #1. She's wearing a blue jumper.

Fawn Amber

Oh snap. I like mama already!

anya

I hope it is Tenley. I have no idea though. The other women (who have been thrown off and and used to bad-mouth her like crazy) all said Jake and Vienna have "an amazing connection". Amazing connection - really good animal sex, TomAto, tomato...

Melissa

I like his mom too. Why do they never listen to what the other girls say? I get that girls can be catty and jealous, but they also get to spend more time with each other than the bachelor ever does!

Miss Banshee

his dad is crying at Tenley's perfection, dudes. DRINK.

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

We've secretly replaced Tenley's lungs with small helium tanks. Let's see if Jake's family notices.

Fawn Amber

ah mah gaw. a family of criers. Vienna will fit right in too.

Melissa

Tenley...she's sweet, but maybe a little too much right now? But I guess Jake's parents are eating it up. Too me, the touching of Jake's father's arm and the gushing is a bit much.

Miss Banshee

Oh man, they are gonna HATE Vienna.

Melissa

I need Tenley to get over her divorce already. I feel like she's not over it. Anyone else think that?

Miss Banshee

@melissa Tenley got divorced? :)

Melissa

Jake's dad is going to dissolve into a puddle.

Tracy

Gawd, I love Tenley, but if she brings up her ex-inlaws AGAIN...well....just drink.

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

AMAZING! PERFECT! DRINK! DRINK!

anya

There is no way Vienna is going to be able to beat out Tenley as far as the family is concerned

Melissa

Haha! Good question. She acts like it happened last month.

Fawn Amber

Drinking! Drinking!!
He felt sparks! Drinking!!
I will be drunk before they even see Vienna.

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

Fully clothed family swim time? Awkward.

Miss Banshee

Quick programming note as we go to commercial: The first two hours will be recapped as usual for tomorrow at 11 AM ET. "After the Final Rose" will be recapped Wednesday at 10 AM ET. I simply cannot recap THREE HOURS of this dreck overnight, people. I am but a simple caveman. Coolio?

Melissa

Coolio. :) I can wait.

Fawn Amber

Coolio by me.

Fawn Amber

OMG they hate her. I LOVE IT.

Tracy

Vienna? No class? Really? Awkward.

Miss Banshee

Open mouth, insert foot, Vienna. And Brush. Your. Hair.

Tracy

Did Mom just roll her eyes at Vienna???? Whoa!

Fawn Amber

Did...did she say Jake's sister is fat??

Melissa

What is this??! Time to pack it in, Vienna. She's blowing it bigtime!!

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

Too much talk of "poking" with Mom. Awkward.

Melissa

"He's sweet...he can be" she says. Has she met anyone's parents before?? Does she care about making a good impression??

anya

I so want to see thsi movie. but, I think it is only because Edward is in it...

Melissa

His mom hasn't formed her opinion about Vienna because of Jake. Vienna keeps saying stupid things. She doesn't know how to handle herself properly. Her mom would be saying the same thing without Jake telling her all the girls didn't like her. Heck, she said it herself! Jake needs to wake up. The girl doesn't know how to act.

Renee

Just popping in to say that I'm super jealous that I'm not in the eastern time zone. Mountain time zone is good for so very few things.... *sigh*

Miss Banshee

Jake's sisters are pretty freaking awesome. And I'm rooting for Vienna, because I'm made of evil and jam.

Fawn Amber

Sisters-in-law. Not sister-in-laws. GAWD.

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

@ Miss Banshee -- REBEL!

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

TEARS! DRINK!

Fawn Amber

Oh GOD I cannot believe she turned the sisters. I am just dumbfounded.

Renee

Banshee, I'm rooting for Vienna too, but only so I can be right when he chooses Vienna, Ali becomes the next bachelorette, and then in the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER, Jake comes back (because we all know Vienna will lose interest about 10 seconds after the cameras leave) and it's Jake and Ali togetha foreva. Or until Jake gets tired of not being on the cover of US Weekly.

anya

Renee - I love it!

Erin

Hello Everyone! Sneakin in to say hi! Can't believe that vienna turned the whole fam.

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

I am confused. They switched sides? Did Vienna cast a white magic spell on them during the commercial? WTH?

Miss Banshee

Oh, as we break for commercial again, if there's an upcoming show y'all want me to recap now that this mess is going to be over, just holla, okay? I'll be recapping...something. Not sure what yet, so I'm open for suggestions.

Renee

If I'm wrong about my theory, I vow to turn into a unicorn and fart cupcakes for all. Peace. *drops mic*

Miss Banshee

"today we're at an active volcano and I'm going to sacrifice her to the gods. It should be fun!"

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

Um. I feel dirty. Gross.

Erin

Oh how convenient! The mud hole doubles as a champagne holder!

Miss Banshee

Mudbaths make the thread go silent. Horrors!

Fawn Amber

Well, I mean seriously. Mud wrestling? What's next - body shots?

Tracy

She's a dirty slut. Literally.

Tracy

She's a dirty slut. Literally.

Steph T.

Folks...I'm really trying not to vomit! She is a slutfaced hoebag!

Fawn Amber

Her hair. I have no words.

Erin

GAWD if I weren't so sick I could be really snarky right now...

Fawn Amber

Dying to know how many of those words were misspelled....

Miss Banshee

Well we know Jakey can read, and Vienna can write. Baby steps, people.

Miss Banshee

If she doesn't get picked, can we please get Vienna on Shear Genius so they can FIX THAT MOP ATOP HER HEAD PLZ?

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

@FawnAmber -- the words are: "bad" and "extensions"

You're welcome.

kelly

vienna is SO GROSS!!!! what is up with her HAIR??? and her EYEBALLS?!??!

Fawn Amber

Thank you @Crash Test Mommy. I knew there had to be an explanation!

Miss Banshee

Oh Jamie Oliver...lisp sweet nothings in my ear...

Miss Banshee

And I'll love him and squeeze him and call him Jakey! /vomit

inez loria

holy crap, this sugary thing tenley is doing is obnoxious. you know she must be all dominatrix behind closed doors.

Miss Banshee

Jakey's brain says "Tenley" and Jakey's peen says "Vienna." Who will reign supreme???

Jenny @ Crash Test Mommy

Chemistry According to Jake = desire to bathe in mud vs. swim in Sunday best.

Amy H

Sometimes I just want to pull Jake aside and punch him in the stomach. Because COME ON! These girls are so different. How is it possible that he "hasn't decided" yet?



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