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Breaking Bad: Episode 302 - "Caballo Sin Nombre": Stacy and Palinode Put a [Re]cap in Someone's Arse

Breaking Bad Episode 302 Bryan Cranston Wherein Stacy and Palinode shoot the shit about Breaking Bad.  Shoot the meth would be a better pun, but our moms read this. And I don't want her knowing about my meth problem.

This week: Walt attempts to leave the drug business behind and reunite his family.  Jesse leaves rehab and totally p3wns his parents.  Hank is totally clueless. Skyler faces perfidy and corruption at home and work.  The silent guys from Mexico with skull-capped boots arrive in Albuquerque.  They have an axe.

Stacy: I now have on continuous loop "I went through the desert on a horse with no name." The entire song is frustrating to me: if you care so much about the horse's name, give the horse a name.  Quincy.  There.  "I went through the desert on a horse named Quincy."  Now shut the fuck up and quit making music.
He got pulled over and as it escalated my buttocks clenched tighter every second.  You knew when he got out of the car where this was going and especially given his speech in the auditorium in Episode 301 last week, I just...Jesus.  I know he's a scientist and one of those left brained types (I live with one - I know the way they think), but whatthuwuh?  Christ.  Get it together, man! 

Palinode: Walt's explosive anger at the cop? That was pure white middle-class taxpayer rage.  I can see Walt lining up for a ticket to the next Teabagger rally.  It's either that or more criminality for him.

I love Cranston as he sings along to Horse With No Name (Caballo Sin Nombre!).  He keeps that ever-bubbling anger just under the surface, but you can see it there, even as he appears to be some average joe humming along to THE STUPIDEST SONG IN THE WORLD.

Stacy:  The only definition of "teabagger" I'm familiar with is...well.  We don't need to go into my bedroom preferences.  And yes, you nailed that!  Some average, middle age dorky man singin' to the oldies. 

And who leaves the effing radio on when they're pulled over? 

The apology scene in the police department was just uncomfortable.  "I'm sowwy I was a bad boy."  UGH!  Just uncomfortable to watch.  He is breaking down. 
Breaking badly down.  Wuh?  That was actually terrible, just terrible, that pun.

Palinode: As a side note, did you notice how many times in this episode people were shot (by the camera) Breaking Bad Episode 301 Bryan Cranston Thrrough Car Windowin the driver's seat of their cars? Walt, Jesse, Boiled Face Man (the bald thug).  It seems to invite questions of control, especially since we see Jesse taking control (whilst sticking it to his family) and Walt attempting to take control - although he clearly lives only seconds away from death.

Stacy: BOILED FACE MAN!  Boyfriend and I call him "The Cleaner," like that dude in Pulp Fiction.  He gets shit done.  I want one of those people in my life.  No, fuck that.  I want to BE The Cleaner.  

That'a fucking great point about the car window thing.  Wow, Palinode.  If we were high on doobies right now I'd be all, "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," and freaking out at that bit of brilliance, right there.
Palinode: What, you're not high on doobies right now? The least you can do is listen to The Doobie Brothers.

Speaking of brothers, what do you think of Los Hermanos Muertos?  Silent bringers of death in shiny suits are okay by me.
Stacy: I'm high on life, BETCH.  And those are shiny SILK SHANTUNG suits.  I'm thinking they don't sell those down at the Men's Warehouse.  AndBreaking Bad Episode 302 Cartel Twins can you imagine that transaction?  They must have assistants because I cannot imagine them going to the mall, trying on clothes, walking by the mens' shoes and doing a simultaneous double take at SILVER TIPPED SKULL COWBOY BOOTS THAT CURL UP LIKE AN ELF'S.

Palinode: My guess is that they show up at a mall and visit a silent stare at staff and customers until everyone falls over dead from terror or runs away.  They put on their shiny silk suits with skull-capped elf boots, light the entire mall on fire and then walk away verrrrry slowly from the wreckage. 

Stacy: And then there's a ding and The Death Twinz of Death KILL EVERYONE DED because they think that means Crazy Uncle Colostomy Bag is ordering a hit with his customer service bell attached to his wheelchair.  And then, somewhere, Crazy Uncle CB's nostrils explode from overflaring.

Palinode: Oh god yes. The Ouija board message should have read WALTER WHITE AND ALL THESE OLD FUCKS PLS.

You were asking what comes next after Hank springs Walt from the hoosegow.  Walt comes home to his Apartment of Despair and finds Saul waiting for him. Saul is far and away the best character on this show. Who else would recommend meth manufacture and mail-order brides as a way to get over a broken heart?  Call Saul.

Stacy: Bob Odenkirk is fucking KILLING this Saul role.  His reassurance to Walt that "[he'd] be surprised at what's out there" and that the girls from Thailand and Bangkok would do anything just for the chance to get over here.  Walt's look was priceless.  And I love the reluctant friendship budding between the two men.  I loves me some Saul.  And that he called Boiled Face Guy about "a possible wife situation," HOOOOO.  Shit's getting good.

Oh, and this?  Better Call Saul!  FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Palinode: Also? I am a huge fan of Jesse's storyline this week.  It looks like he's embracing his identity and taking some control.  His parents totally deserved what they got.  Except for me showing up and pointing at them and shouting "Ha! P3WND!11!!" and then vanishing through a secure link out of the Matrix. What?

Stacy: Muy bueno!  Or something.  I wanted to punch Jesse's dad in the dick.  Look, I know about addictsBreaking Bad Episode 302 Saul and Jesse and that most people get to a point where they absolutely have to cut themselves off, but in my humble opinion, Jesse's dad saw and remarked that Jesse looked good and healthy.  And Jesse was trying to reach out.  I wanted to take him in a hug when he paused at his car door to leave. 
And then I wanted to stroke his hair.  And perhaps other things, but we don't need to talk about the things I would do to him.  MEOW, is all I'm saying.
I loved that he didn't blow up, that he went right to Saul and that Saul served the fuck out of his parents.  I watched the scene in the lawyer's office THREE times.  And I may or may not have taken notes, because I want to bring a little Saul personality into my repertoire, you know, should I ever need it.  He is completely absent any moral compass whatsoever and I love his technique (which I enjoy doing myself, I'm not going to lie): he's gregarious and approachable in the beginning, not afraid to make a little fun of himself, but then just when you think you're dealing with a pedestrian moron, he busts out with pure, 100% serving.  Three serving sizes of Serving. 

"Oh, but I see you got your termite inspection.  That's good." 
I can totally see you camera bombing.  We'd all be watching the episode, and then there's Palinode in the background, wandering, making obscene gestures, P3WNING people.  I think this calls for a Photoshopping.

Palinode: Yes! A Photoshopping would be awesome. If I still had a job, I'd go out and buy a shiny silk suit and skullcaps for my boots. Then I'd p3wn the whole sad lot of them.  Let's see, whom would I p3wn from this episode?

Stacy: I'd like to see that fancy ass old man lawyer get a kick to the grill.  "Do you CONCUR, counselor?"  YES.  I, for one, concur.

Palinode: Hank's assumption that Walt is/was cheating?  Classic formula Hank. Ever confident, ever clueless.

I'm undecided about Breaking Bad's approach to its characters.  In its early episodes the show seemed to delight in being cruel to unlikeable people.  As the characters developed, the tone seemed to change, and the writers began to ask us to feel sympathy for people who at first deserved only our mockery.  I miss those days, when I could laugh at Hank without remembering his breakdown in season two.

Stacy: Jesus Tapdancing Christ.  Hank is seventeen shades of pure, unfiltered, RAWK. 

The character development, that's what has me hooked to the show.  I'm at a point with Walt where I just do not like him.  And usually the writers want people to like the main character, but I don't particularly care for him.  There's the rub, though.  I dislike him in the way I dislike some members of my family.  It's not hate, it's more that I want to lose my temper and shake him and tell him to get his shit together and knock off the asshattery.  So while I dislike Walt, I still want him to succeed.  And to get cookin', I'm not gonna lie. And then Skyler, who I don't want to like, but I do.  It's very layered and complex, this writing, and it's absolutely incredible.  This is probably the most well-written show with the best acting I've ever seen.  And I've seen Tool Academy, so I know of what I speak.

Palinode:  I know exactly what you mean when you describe your feelings for Walt (also about Tool Academy).  He has a moral blind spot that allows him to commit criminal acts and wallow in the pleasure of it, all the while committed to the belief that his actions are for the benefit of others.  Imagine if he slept with another woman and then claimed it necessary in order to keep his family together.

Skyler: I want to have some sympathy for Skyler, but even when she clues in to something, she's still so clueless.  I love that she guesses Walt's a drug dealer, but then thinks that he managed to pay off his chemo bill with marijuana.  P3WN.

Flynn: Or Walter Jr. Pick a name and don't call your mother a bitch.  Even if she's clueless Skyler, who just got a good P3WN.  P3WN.

Hank:  Just because he's him.  P3WN.

Also, of course, Jesse's dick parents.  P3WN with a side of kick-in-the-teeth.

Stacy: And then Skyler and her major hoot display all chastising Ted, "Ted, what would your children think?" Obviously she was asking for her own reasons, for her own situation.  And Ted telling her that he'd probably tell them that he did everything to give them the best life possible.  P3WNED.

Palinode: Meanwhile, Jesse's parents are consoling themselves with breaking even, which from a certain point of view may be better than breaking bad. But it's hollow consolation, a stray bell attempting to summon a long-lost congregation. And just as they're pulling that rope, Jesse drives up and waltzes into the house. That's what they summoned: the prodigal son who locks out his family.

And just to up the suffering, Walt attempts to take back some good old fashioned masculine control of his life by coming home and reclaiming his place as the man of the house. But of course, he has to crawl through cobwebs and come up through the floor, fouled and shaking, like vermin. And while he showers, men in suits are waiting to take him to pieces with an axe.

Stacy: That it exactly, he shut the door on them literally and figuratively.  I punched my fist in the air and waved it like I just didn't care.  Only I did care, which...well, that's why I punched my fist in the air. 

Palinode: The house is the site where all of Walt's moral dramas are played out.  Last season he was hiding his money in the vents and plunging himself into home renovations when his marriage began to slide off the edge of the continental plate.  Remember that moment in season two when he sneaks into his own home to re-conceal his money, and has to hide from his own family?  This season he's trying to reclaim the house, but he's leaving the door open for real chaos and pure amoral evil.  I see this heading the way of last season's Dexter, where the main character attempts to strengthen and defend his home but unwittingly allows his worst nightmare inside.  Let's hope it doesn't go that far.

Stacy: I remember that!  And then at one point before he and Jesse were abducted, he hid it and his gun in the diaper box.  That's pretty heavy on the symbolism right there.  Walt's crawling through the crawlspace and then popping up through the hole he made when he fixed the water heater - that's a subtle but incredibly powerful scene.  He's breaking into his own house through the hole in the floor he restored.  Again, for his family.  And then some months later he's reduced to having to crawl through that hole, in his brand new floor, collapsing against his brand new water heater purchased for the family.  He really is alone, isn't he. 

And can I just say how much I loved the song they played through that scene, the beginning of which was The Cleaner being interrupted bugging the home by an unsuspecting Walt, breaking into the house?  I looked it up and have since downloaded the whole CD - it's "Magic Arrow," by Timber Timbre, from their self-titled release available on iTunes.  You can check out their band page here and listen to the song. It was a fucking fantastic selection, so golf claps to the music dude on the show. 


Palinode:  That song reminded me a little bit of Morphine. And I poured out a bit of coffee in memory of my dead youth.

Breaking Bad Episode 302 Bryan Cranston After Shower I appreciated the patience and courtesy that Los Hermanos Muertos showed, waiting for Walt to finish his shower before taking the axe to him. Which they didn't, because they were called off at the last minute. Which somehow made it worse.

Stacy:  They are many things, those Twinz of Destrukshun, and one of their finer points is that you can't argue they're not polite.  It gave me major goosebumps when one of the Los Hermanos Muertos slid his finger down the photo on the refrigerator of the baby.  GAAARRRGH.  And where'd they get that axe?  Not only did it look like it had been through a rigorous buffing and waxing process, it didn't look like it would cut through a piece of paper, much less skin and bones.  Why not just hack at someone with a butterknife?  Maybe carve him up with a crayon, or a plastic trident from the dollar store? 

That axe SO did not come from Home Despot.

Palinode:  All in all, that was a satisfying 47 minutes of television.

Stacy: This was my favorite episode yet since I've been watching the show.  I can't wait until next week! I'm dying to know exactly who Gustavo really is and how he fits into all of this.

Episode 3 - Sneak Peeks:

Breaking Bad Episode 303 Sneak Peek



Uncle Colostomy will reappear as will Gus and the back of some man's head. 

Breaking Bad Episode 303 Sneak Peek Gus


. . .

Anastacia "Jurgen Nation" Campbell is calling Saul right now.  Please leave a message after the beep.

Palinode wants a set of skull caps for his rubber boots.

Image source.

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Lookit, you two. I don't want to get all super Fanboy on you guys, but, this recap was he Balls!

Tuco's cousins scare the Bejeeebus out of me.

Well done, you two. Brav-motherfucking-o.


W0000000000000000t!! Thank you! So you'll come back next week then, I hope?

And re Tuco's cousins, yeah, they're a bit like horror movie monsters. They walk slow, but they catch everyone and fuck shit up. And they don't even break a sweat. Those suits? Shantung. Anyone else would have had wet armpit rings. But those two aren't "anyone else." DEATH TWINZ OF DEATH.

And Palinode, I keep reading, "The silent guys from Mexico with skull-capped boots arrive in Albuquerque" as "The silent gays from Mexico with skull-capped boots arrive in Albuquerque."

Silent gays, skull-capped boots. The Juarez gay culture is here, yo! Awesomesauce.


Can someone please explain to me how the Grandfather knew Walt's name? I totally don't remember their names being told to anyone - though Jessie's woulda come up in that whole "Was this the guy who killed your Grandson" cop scene. But Walt's? How'd that get on the table, to even be SPELLED on the table?


I'm fairly sure Tuco took both Jesse's and Walt's wallets and flipped through them when they were at Uncle Ting!'s house. I remember Tuco looking through Walt's and saying something like, "Walter [something dorky] White? I thought your name was Heisenberg," after which Walt stammered that that was his "street name" and Heisenberg was a famous chemist (or physicist, I can't remember which)and blah blah.

Old Uncle ColostomyBag is a pretty sharp dude.



*hanging head in sorta-but-not-really-shame*


I totally remember that now, thanks to the play-by-play. Our TV-memories are surprisingly similar.

I'm going to chalk that up to awesome.

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