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I Saw the Worst Movie Ever and Lived to Tell About It

New_york_city_serenade Late Wednesday night, I tweeted, "I have just watched the worst movie ever. The search is over. Holy crap." Within seconds, thousands (okay, eight) people @-replied me, dying to know what perversion of film I was referring to. I told them. And now I'll tell you, lest ye find yourselves in the bowels of your cable package.

The worst movie ever (so far) is called New York City Serenade. It's from 2007. It stars Freddie Prinze, Jr. And Chris Klein. I know, where did they get the budget for those guys, right?

Prinze, Jr. plays Owen, aspiring filmmaker, fiance to Jamie-Lynn Sigler's character Lynn, and best friend and "Aw, gee whiz" foil to Ray, played by Chris Klein.

Anyway, Owen and Ray are buddies from way back. They both have stars in their eyes, Owen for film and Ray for rock n roll, but have one foot planted on earth. They work menial jobs to support themselves, Owen is engaged, and Ray has a daughter.

Alright, full disclosure: I didn't watch the WHOLE movie. I kept leaving the room for various reasons, not all of them explicitly due to the movie. So I might not be the most informed judge. However, I'm willing to stake my reputation on this educated guess. I had intentions of watching New York City Serenade in its entirety last night for research purposes, but then I just went on living my life. So, my summation of the plot might be terrible.

Ray is some kind of fuck up and Owen sort of goes along with him until he cheats on his fiance and she dumps him or something. Owen realizes that Ray's Peter Pan syndrome is messing his life up, so they break up, essentially.

Then, and this is really shocking, they get "real" jobs (which makes the movie suddenly even more dated, hearkening back to a time when people would say things like, "I need a job!" and then go get one, as opposed to now, when people just say, "I need a job!" and that's about all they can do) and muse about their lives and loves and experiences.

New_york_city_serenade_bench The really outstanding part is at the end, when Ray and Owen happen to run into each other in Central Park and have an awkward but apologetic and kind-hearted wrap-up conversation. It's really long and tender music is playing the whole time and it took me a few minutes to realize why it looked so weird: I don't think Klein and Prinze, Jr. actually filmed the scene together. The camera cuts back and forth between them for every line and the few shots that show the both of them facing each other, talking over a shrubbery, kind of look like those split-screen scenes from one of the Parent Trap movies. You know, when there's two Hayley Mills or two Lindsay Lohans. I really wish I could find video of this scene online, because you really have to hear the dialogue and the "New Yawk" accents to believe them. Owen goes to leave like three or four times and either Ray calls him back or Owen turns around on his accord to say one more serious thing with a scrunched face.

It's like watching the mid-to-late 90s die in front of you.

My husband and I were watching The Big Lebowski the other night and he commented, "This is why the Oscars are bullshit. I mean, Jeff Bridges just IS this role, and they just gave him an Oscar for some other bullshit." This got me to thinking about Chris Klein and his performance in American Pie. Chris Klein just IS Fuckface...or Chris Ostreicher as his character was officially called. He was never in any danger of winning an Oscar for that role, but it served him well and continuing to give him acting jobs is just kind of mean. 

Same for Freddie Prinze, Jr. At some point, someone declared that he could act as a romantic lead and he just keeps making movies and my god someone make it stop.

My husband warned me not to be so quick to declare New York City Serenade the worst movie ever, urging me to revisit other objects of his/our scorn: Monsoon Wedding, Sweeney Todd, The Omega Code, anything that TwoBusy has highlighted the past few weeks. But I don't know. This seems like a pretty safe bet. Your thoughts?

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oh my. that movie sounds truly terrible. although he is still fairly cute, FPJ is an awful AWFUL actor. has anyone been watching 24? his NYC accent is completely laughable. i actually think 24 is pretty rank anymore anyway but having something to make fun of makes it slightly less painful.


The trailer looked like a spoof, and I kept waiting for the punchline. I don't know what's worse, not having a punchline, or that the movie turned out to be real. Two thumbs down based solely on the trailer.


Man that even sounds worse than Dinoshark!

Apryl's Antics

I've pretty much learned to follow the cable company's advice on stuff. They always have a star rating in my info bar and it's usually accurate. When I stray from their opinion, I'm sorry.


Thanks...now I can totally avoid this. Nice clip of FPJ - although not my favorite selection. Every time Head Over Heels comes on TV, I watch. I can't help myself. I find it completely hysterical. He's the male lead in it, but because the movie doesn't take itself seriously at all, he's kind of perfect for it.


I have not seen this movie, but for The Gangs of New York is still he movie that I still want to petition to have 2+ hours of life back.

I may have to watch this purely for research purposes because TGNY is going to be very hard to top for me.


Jeebus. I couldn't make 27 second on the clip of down to you.

I did watch the whole trailer though, kinda out of disbelif that they made an entire movie when the trailer seemed to give the entire storyline and ending away.


I have to agree with ljpock about gangs of new york. I really, really hated that movie. However, the hubby loves it.

I still think Gummo is the WORST FREAKING MOVIE EVER

Suzy Q

Freddie Prinze, Jr. + Chris Klein = ASS.

Why you put yourself thru that, kdiddy?


Have none of you seen "The Room"???? Because, I assure you, THAT is the worst movie ever. For SO many reasons. It is laughably bad but was created in all seriousness. You all must watch it at least once!


Sorry, but for me King Arthur was far worse than this sounds. During the viewing, I found myself wondering what I did to make Clive Owen hate me so much, and by the end my best friend was banging her head against the seat in front of her in frustration while I was trying to figure out a way to kill myself with the straw from my drink.


For me, the worst movie ever will always be Dr. T and the Women - where Richard Gere plays a gynocologist. SPOILER: not that the movie isn't weirdly depressing enough, it goes all surreal at the end when a giant twister picks him up & deposits him, Oz-style, in Mexico where a woman is in labor & he delivers the baby. It's a movie that you finish & go WTF and wish for that 2hrs of your life back.


Clearly none of you watch MST3K!


I'm with Christy...Dr. T and the Women was the worst movie I should have walked out on.

Chris Klein's mustache makes me sad.

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