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Project Runway Recap: "Hey, That's My Fabric"

Runway I'm slowly coming to the realization that I don't really care about anyone left on this show -- love OR hate. I mean, Anthony is adorable and all but I'm talking about people who actually have a shot at Final Threedom. Bleh. And skeptical nose scrunch. But we soldier on. Besides, what else is there? Right now my Tivo is recording this and The Marriage Ref and why in the hell haven't I canceled that monstrosity yet? THIS...is your least-offensive option. THIS...is Project Runway.


Jonathan sleeps curled up with his hands under his chin, exactly like my four-year-old, with a half-empty glass of red wine on his nightstand, exactly like me. He's actually tearing up over Amy's aufing, which is really sweet. 

Vivenne Tam! I love her. And I LOVE the sound of this never-before-seen challenge: Create your own printed fabric/textile for your look. Basically, exactly what Jonathan claims to always do but has probably only been doing for the past two weeks or so. He's excited and confident, though, and growing more adorable by the minute. STOPIT.

Vivienne Tam does a hugely painful product placement for HP/Intel while explaining the challenge ("HP makes the PC more personal." SHE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT.) and talks about butterflies and inspiration and some shit and I love her distinctly less. Take note: Guest judging on RuPaul's Drag Race is now officially the only way to my heart. The rest is folly.

(And yet, after watching the designers play with the HP textile-making-magic program, I'm suitably impressed. It looked pretty damn fun, though I'm not sure I'd find many practical applications in my own daily life. Also, I would totally suck at it. And that's why I do this. Those who can't...recap!)
 
The designers go to Mood for supplemental materials and Seth Aaron jumps up and down at the register because he's so excited. I feel like I should like him. Why don't I like him? Has Lifetime completely destroyed my ability to feel love? Did my heart cook and char in the hot L.A. sun? 

Anthony: I figured I'd try something new this time around.

Audience: WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAH.

The custom textiles arrive and everybody goes apeshit over them. Mila talks smack about Emilio's fabric and taste level. Maya stresses that her look isn't right and isn't "her", since she doesn't do prints.

Tim points out that Emilio's fabric features pretty prominent "SA" initials. Seth Aaron has put his initials on quite a few of his designs (once on his model's NECK with TAPE or SOMETHING, which was VILE), but Emilio insists that his fabric spells his own name: E. Sosa. The "O" is a heart. Tim has a hard time re-calibrating and Emilio comes off as pretty goddamn assy in this segment. But...honestly, I'm not sure what else he could do at this point, since they HAD to use their designed fabric and his was what is was, and are they really going to judge the presence of the letters S and A against him because Seth Aaron already made it his "thing?" 

Though: Don't get me wrong: He's pretty goddamn assy in this segment. 

Anthony: This design isn't working. I shall scrap it at the last minute and start all over!

Audience: Do these people even WATCH the show?

Back at the apartment, Anthony tells Jay he looks like a gay Christmas ornament. Jay proceeds to change his outfit five bajillion times. Aww.

The Vast Middle of Squeaking Through is about to disappear, as only Jay escapes facing the judges. He's lucky, too, because they are just as wackadoodle as last week. 

Tops: Seth Aaron, Emilio, Maya

Picture 64

Guess who! Oh, you'll just never figure it out. Once again, Seth Aaron sends out jacket/funkypant variation #123034784, and once again, the judges have no problem with the fact that the dude never makes anything else. In fact, they praise him for always "staying true to himself." It's obviously because Seth Aaron is just SO GOOD at these looks and has near-flawless execution week after week, but...come on. He's done a few dresses and honestly, only one of them was any good (the very first episode, though it definitely reminded me of Jeffrey Sebelia's work).  

Picture 65

His fabric was pretty cool, though. Overall there's a little too much going on in the whole outfit (the tie! the collar! the zippers! the studding!), and those pants make his model look thick and stumpy. 

Picture 61
 
The judges picked Maya's fabric as their favorite, though THIS outfit gets dinged for having too much going on. (The styling, mostly.) I just sense Maya's insecurity about using prints led to that big black panel which kind of gives it this weird...bathing suit/spandex vibe for me? It's like bike shorts turned into a tube dress, which is unfortunate because her fabric really WAS quite cool:

 Picture 62

Poor Maya's constant second- and third-place finishing is starting to get to her, because it's clear she's not sure what to do at this point to secure a win. She's producing stuff outside her comfort zone and STILL executing it flawlessly and landing in the top 3, unlike many, many other people. I'm not always in love with her looks, but girlfriend really deserves a freaking win at this point. Weird that your track record only counts if you're up for elimination. 

Picture 57

Emilio. It's a nice dress. I guess. I admit I don't have the outright hostility to Emilio that a lot of viewers have because I just really loved some of his early designs and feel like he's getting a bum edit in a completely villain-free season. Yeah, he's egotistical. Aren't they all? However, the judges love this dress to an insane degree and I'm a little baffled, especially because up close?

Picture 58

This looks like it was done in Microsoft Paint, for real. Nina loves the 40s aesthetic of the dress, while (I imagine) Maya is thinking about inexplicably getting called "referential" last week and quietly, sweetly seething.

But Emilio wins. I am under-enthused. We continue to careen toward a Seth Aaron/Emilio face-off in the finals, OBVS.

Your weekly bottoms are: Mila, Anthony, Jonathan

Picture 60

Jonathan. Okay, so...once again with the overly neutral color palette, and the print he created (on the skirt) is like, the LAST thing you notice, but OH MAH GAH, that top is actually a jacket. Like a crazy weird backwards jacket, including that secondary printed ruffle thing. It all comes off exactly like a straitjacket and when the model removed it the judges' faces went up to 11 on the WTF scale. 

Picture 67

Weird construction choices aside, Jonathan spent all this time creating a layered watercolor effect on his textile and then created a design that completely washed it out and overshadowed it. 

Picture 55

Anthony. Who was plagued by many, MANY construction issues this week, and who sent out a fairly poorly-made dress with a VERY poorly-made shrug. And like clockwork, THIS is the week he suddenly gets called on the fact that he essentially sends out the same dress over and over again. A shockingly simply cocktail dress with geometric...stuff on it. (And some of that stuff sadly resembles those little stick people from The Blair Witch Project.) Take note, Seth Aaron: send out a jacket with a single unfinished seam and get raked across the coals for everything you've been praised for so far.

Picture 66
 
His fabric was meh.

Picture 63

Mila. OY. WITH THE UGLY. Worst look of the week. Worst look of several recent weeks. Mila gets irritated at her model for clutching and lifting the side, thus "ruining" the flow and effect or whatever, though: Honey, it was YOUR JOB to make a dress the girl can walk in. This is a long, heavy sack. Like you went back to the hardware store challenge and made it out of drop cloths and spray paint. 

Picture 68

And this is exactly the sort of thing you see at high school art shows, when 10th graders believe that colored stripes equal awesome modern art, with the bonus of requiring zero actual artistic ability.

All three of these looks are pretty badly made and aufworthy, though I'd give the edge to Mila because while Jonathan's was weird and Anthony's was boring, her dress is like, aggressively, proactively ugly. 

But let's look at the scorecard:

Mila: One win. Three times in the Top 3. Four times in the Bottom 3.
Jonathan: One win. One time in the Top 3. Three times in the Bottom 3. 
Anthony: One win. One time in the Top 3. Four times in the Bottom 3. 

Anthony has the (only slightly) worse track record, so it's his night to go. Which we all knew was coming. I actually have more of a problem with the fact that Mila was excused from the runway FIRST. Send Anthony home, fine -- he's funny and adorable but so clearly in over his head -- but at least keep Mila standing there until the end to sweat it out. God, I can't stand her. 

Hmm. Wait. Perhaps...perhaps I DO feel strongly about one of these designers! I DO! And I have all along, this whole time! Oh, thank you, Project Runway, for keeping the hate alive. I feel so much better now.

SPOILER-ISH

In case you missed the preview for next week's episode (my Tivo cut it off but I watched it online this morning), we may have finally been given a clue about the Maya Bryant Park Mystery, along with a shocking secondary twist that I totally did not see coming. 

Since these MyLifetime.com videos are often temperamental bitches, you can highlight the following with your mouse to read what's up: For the "first time in Project Runway history" a designer walks away. An eliminated designer will return, and it appears our choices are Anthony, Jesse, and hold onto your butt: PING.

THIS IS PROJRUNOMG!!1!!!1

(NOTE: TypePad is having service-wide comment problems at present, so if you have difficulty leaving a comment on any of our posts today, hit "preview" before you post and that should solve the issue.)  








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Comments

Suzy Q

I could NOT believe that Emilio won. NOT. Mila's was just SO awful, and in so many ways!

Regarding the trailer, if someone has to come back, OH PLEASE let it be that wackadoodle Asian woman, whose name completely escapes me. She'll make something out of craft service leftovers and essence of insanity, and it will be AWESOME.

Mrs. Q.

See? I knew you'd have the scoop. I just watched this one on tivo and was all *WTF?* when I saw next week's trailer, and thought AMALAH! I thought maybe Heidi was put on bedrest or one of the models was hit by a car. But Maya dropping out? That would suck. Damn.

funda62

Apparently PR people don't know about Spoonflower were actually everyone with a freaking computer can design their own fabric. That said I did think Emilo was smart with the branding and it would look cute in a runway show. Mila could design absolutely anything and designed stripes? WTF is wrong with that woman and having two colors next to each other? That was NOT a maxi-dress. Her poor model. Anthony did a pretty poor job this week but I did think "dirty table cloth" (and it looks even more like it in the close up still then it did on stage!) with a bad attitude was going home.

Umm and didn't we have a season were someone dropped out due to health issues and a previous person came back and then made outfits with human hair?

chatty cricket

I loved Anthony for his workroom chit chat. It was funny. Like, did he even know what he was saying?! Oh Anthony.

The dress. We get it. You're dressing her "like a lady" (but are you?)(a lady who does WHAT, exactly? go cocktailing?)(that's Paris Hilton's job. DO YOU WANT TO BE DRESSING PARIS HILTON? ANTHONY, DO YOU???)

My favorite part of this entire show is Michael Kors. The straight jacket! OH LAWSY, the STRAIGHT JACKET!

But.......then again, this twist? YES INDEED.

Susan

I think the big problem was that all of the fabric designs were printed on cotton (that's what it looked like, anyway). I loved Jonathan's design, but it definitely needed to be printed on silk or rayon - something with flow and movement. [Apparently his model, Cerri, stood up to the judges and told them that she loved the outfit and thought his design was brilliant. He rewarded her by choosing to work with Brandice next week, and Cerri was eliminated.]

I am so so so annoyed that Mila is still on the show, I can barely contain myself. Of course I will watch again this week, just to torment myself.




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