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Revenge of The Miniskirt Police Looks Surprisingly Questionable

ZebraMiniskirt  Maybe you think as an important member of the film-reviewing media, I would have a special sneak peak review of Alice in Wonderland because I just got back from the premiere. Well I don't believe in abusing my power or your trust so instead I'm just going to write about Revenge of the Zebra Miniskirt Police. At first this might seem weird but since I haven't seen either film, I think we can all agree that Japanese women in miniskirts trump Johnny Depp dressed up as Madonna. Game,Set, Match: Miniskirt Police.

Now it would be sexist of you to assume that the only reason I'm writing about the Zebra Miniskirt Police is because scantily clad women fighting crime is titillating. Well, that word starts with "tit" so I wish YOU'D get your mind out of the gutter because really, even though the movie looks like maybe it was shot in an abandoned warehouse in that one county south of LA where they shoot 85% of all porn, and all they had to record it was one of those big shoulder-mounted VHS cameras from the early 80s, it really is a brilliant film that explores the dark side of being a miniskirt police and the importance of crotch-shots in solving crime or something something I forgot from film school.

Unfortunately (maybe), the entire trailer is in Japanese, so I can only guess why the bad guys are dressed up as black and white Darth Mauls, or why all the women keep getting beat up, or what the quick flash of Japanese text says right after that one girl shows pretty much the entire sweep of her groin to the free world, but in my dreams, I  like to think it says "Visualize World Peace" and that somewhere out there a starving orphan is getting a needed delivery of medicine or Puff Daddy CDs or Reeboks or whatever, because this message reached across the cultural divide and touched the sensitive feelings of some rich aristocrat from the industrialized world. Or maybe it says "Check out her yams!" which is kinda hot. Either way.

I think we can all agree though, that Zebra Miniskirt Police, which, in a move that surprises no one except super-pervs, will only be released on DVD is awesome because before the actual trailer part of the trailer it has a woman thrusting her pelvis in her underpants. Preeow!!

It is endorsements like this one that keep me out of fancy movie premiers. Just for the record. Here's the trailer which might be unsuitable for work, if your boss hates women in their underwear getting punched in the face. Whoa! Someone's a little uptight! Am I right? High Five!

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Jen O.

The police officer in the middle looks like the dead kid in The Grudge. You know, if that kid had lived and grown up to do porn.


NEWS FLASH: a major Hollywood studio has bought the rights to "Revenge of the Zebra Miniskirt Police" and Johnny Depp, fresh from his cash register-breaking turn in "Alice in Wonderland," will star as the Zebra.

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