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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Are Back. The Internet Never Lies.

TMNT Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Raphael Donatello Michaelangelo LeonardoThe Internets are all a-buzz in anticipation of an all-new live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie.  Could it be true?  Are they bringing the lean, green, fighting machines back to the big screen?  It looks like it will be so.  I'm singing the theme song already.  And so will you be, shortly.

Whenever I hear about a cartoon or television show or kitchy movie from my childhood being remade and revamped in the new Hollywood style (read: stripped of everything I loved and remember fondly and replaced with animatronics, CGI, and ... ugh ... actors) I get all sad and growly (Flintstones, Inspector Gadget, and Scooby Doo, I'm talking to you).  I hate the fact that the characters I grew up watching are being mutilated and morphed into things that are hardly representative of the way I remember them.  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of the early 90's were unique in that they didn't disappoint me; actually, they un-disappointed me (too lazy to look up the opposite of 'disappoint', so we're sticking with 'un-disappoint'.)

TMNT Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Raphael Donatello Michaelangelo Leonardo

I recall seeing the first live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, cleverly titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it's younger brother, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, in the theatre.  Our hometown theatre back then was nothing more than a glorified closet in our grungy little mall, with two screens and a canteen the size of a hot dog cart.  It smelled like burnt popcorn, high-fructose corn syrup, and feet.  Going to the movies there was pure joy.

I remember the TMNT's squishy costumes, lame facial movements, and dude.  Did you realize that Corey Feldman voiced Donatello?  Seriously.  Casey Jones was the coolest Helpy Helperton, sidekick, whatever-he-was (co-good guy?) ever, with a golf bag full of sports-themed weapons.  And Shredder's entrance music (deer-nerrrr) still makes me want to kick someone's ass.

So, when I read that they may be making an All-New!  Live-Action!  TMNT Movie!  'cause Look!  We Have Proof!, I got all fluttery and hopeful.  It looks as though this attempt will take our heroes in a half shell in the direction that Batman Begins and The Dark Knight took Batman.  Perhaps more realistic?  Perhaps more believable?  Perhaps more adult?  If Christopher Nolan can rescue Batman from the pit of despair that Joel Schumacher and George Clooney deposited him in, maybe the new TMNT movie won't be a huge farce like IT VERY WELL COULD BE. 

Legendary Pictures will be producing the film, with co-creator Peter Laird acting as executive producer.  Laird says that the movie "will remain true to the spirit of the original comic books," and may use face-replacement technology (ooo...sounds scary) instead of completely CGI-ing the crap out of the turtles.  It will focus on the turtles' transformation from cute little baby hatchlings into ooze-mutilated turple (that was supposed to be a combination of "turtles" and "people"; didn't work.  Peotles?  Forget it.) and how they became crime fighting machines.

So?  It sounds maybe ... awesome? 

And so with my 10-year-old self getting all anxious-y for what 2011 has to bring, I leave you with this, which is from the cartoon and therefore has nothing to do with this or any previous movies.  But it makes me happy and nostalgic and creeps its way into your brain like a spider looking to lay eggs.  Enjoy.


. . . . .
Jen O. has the Turtles' autographs. For reals. Jelus?

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This is the best news! I've always loved TMNT, from the original comics to the movies (we shall not speak of the third one, kay?) Thanks for brightening my Thursday!




Corey Feldman!
I can't shake the guy! Yesterday I was watching The Fox and the Hound with Eirinn, and he did the voice of young Copper. The guy's everywhere!
Also, now I'll be singing that song for weeks...

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