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Gordon Ramsay: Worst Insulter In History

Gordon-ramsay Kitchen Nightmare Hell's Kitchen Since I started writing here, I've really been wanting to do a piece on my most favorite angry chef in the world, Gordon Ramsay. I've decided today is that day. But before we begin, have you ever been called "donkey"? Me neither. I'm not even sure how insulting it is, but by his tone, I'm guessing it's not a compliment.

When I first watched "Hell's Kitchen", I remember thinking, "Why has no one punched him? Hard?" I hated him and immediately wanted to kick him right in the squash. I couldn't figure out why these people were just taking the barrage of childhood silliness he was hurling. "My God, did he just call that girl a 'cow' for not properly seasoning that risotto? I think he did. Where am I?"

As it turns out, I was being introduced to a man who would come to show an unbridled passion for food, a humongous heart and the brain of an angry six year old.

"Hell's Kitchen" is awesome for many reasons. If you're looking for drama, ding ding ding! I like when people yell at each other on television. I don't know why. Conflict is always more interesting when you're not involved in it. And one day, someone's going to crack and physically assault this man. It's almost happened several times and I won't be surprised when it does. You can only say horrid things to people so long before one of them breaks your face, damn the repercussions.

To the contestants, I get it. You don't like a man spitting venom two inches from your face for an undercooked lamb chop. You'd prefer not to be attacked to your core for applying too little dressing to a salad. I feel you. But if you're one of the ones that removed the food from the trash and tried to serve it? You should be served next. And I will gnaw on your perfectly prepared thighs, delighting in the fact that you got exactly what you deserved.

At times, Ramsay will show us he really, really cares. Not only for his craft, but for the people, despite his saying some of the most horrible things that one can say to another human. That doesn't make it right, it makes it good television. And these people line up to get the opportunity to take it.

Gordon-ramsay Kitchen Nightmare Hell's Kitchen But here's where we see another side of Gordon: "Kitchen Nightmares." In this program, Ramsay goes into ailing restaurants, in some cases, right around the corner from his own restaurant, and straightens out their shit from stem to stern with a healthy dose of dutch uncle love. The things he sees would make a billy goat puke (stole that from First Blood - they should not have messed with John Rambo). It's highly disturbing the true nightmares that lurk behind the kitchen doors of restaurants that our families might frequent.

In almost every case, the kitchen is disgusting. The food is rancid. It's vomit-inducing. We've all walked into an empty restaurant, had a crappy meal and said, "We're not going back there."  And it's highly likely that you've been in a clone of the many restaurants he's visited. So thank you Gordon Ramsay for righting as many ships as you can. They deserve to be called horrible things for serving rotten food. Good for you. He's as tough on them as he is his contestants on Hell's Kitchen, but this is real. It's their lives. Their homes. And amazingly, they still don't fucking listen.

Owner: "Hi. I have a failing business. Will you help me Mr. successful and rich beyond my imagination?"

Ramsay: "Sure. To begin, your food sucks."

Owner: "What?! I hate you! Our food is awesome!"

Ramsay: "I've had better meals in prison, donkey."

Owner: "You don't know what you're talking about. Our food is fantastic! You're just a dick."

Ramsay: "You're a sea monkey!"

Owner: "What? That doesn't even make any sense."

Ramsay: "Pig!"

Owner: "I don't even understand what you're saying."

Ramsay: "You called me, french fry, I don't need to be here right now. I can teach you how to succeed, and I'll even drop a hundred grand on your shit-hole if you just shut up and listen. You're a very small man and a loser. You should kick yourself in the face for being so stupid."

Owner: "Maybe you're right..."

And he is.

And they start to come around. He revamps their restaurant, saves their lives (in most cases) and they all hug and love one another forever.

Both "Hell's Kitchen" and "Kitchen Nightmares" air on Fox, the former's new season beginning sometime this summer. You can also catch the British version of "Kitchen Nightmares" (the original and another one we stole from our brethren from across the pond) on BBC.  And as we all know, stolen shows taste sweeter.

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I always wondered why he called people donkeys, too. I think in the restaurant biz, donkeys are the people who keep the food prep area clear by taking away the dirty pans and stuff. Like pack mules? It's possible I made that up.


Maybe he calls them donkeys, because another name for a donkey is an "ass". Makes you think ;) Insults are so much better when the person has to think and can't figure out the meaning, LOL!

Apryl's Antics

Gordon Ramsey for President!

cindy w

I love Gordon Ramsay. But I'm also married to a blonde, cranky Brit, so apparently that's my type.

The BBC version of "Kitchen Nightmares" is MUCH better than the Fox version, because it doesn't have the ridiculous editing and dramatic music. Also, I think Ramsay is better known in the UK as a massive success. So the chefs tend to be a little more respectful of his advice, which in turn means he's less abrasive, and the show typically revolves around improving the restaurant's menu and business plan, rather than all the "duh-duh-DUUUUHHH!!! *Cut to commercials*" edits.

Redneck Mommy

Gordon Ramsay....nummy.

Let's just say that's one cranky donkey I wouldn't mind riding.


He's SO much better on the British version of Kitchen Nightmares, and on his other British show, The F Word. If you love Gordon (or if you wonder why anyone loves Gordon), you must watch these shows. If you don't get BBC America, make friends with someone who does.

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