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Has Larry King Been Having An Affair With His Wife's Sister For the Last Five Years?

I can't dSouthwick-kingecide whether to throw up or throw up a lot. I'm going to do both just to make sure. Tiger Woods, Jesse James, now... Larry King? And with his wife's sister? The question on the tip of everyone's tongue is, will Jerry Springer come to CNN Studios or will Larry have to go to Springer's set? So confusing. Either way, some guy named "Ice Trey" and his wives/cousins are going to be very upset when their story gets bumped for the King saga.

Whoa. This is so... weird. Am I dreaming? It's time to perform my "Am I dreaming?" checklist:

Naked. Check.

Drooling. Check.

Room full of people laughing at me. Check.

Ok. I'm awake. (The people at this coffee shop are kinda mean.)

So, where do we begin? It seems that Larry's wife, Shawn Southwick, had suspected something had been going on between Larry and her sister, Shannon Engelman, for the last 5 years. Sources close to the couple say that Southwick confirmed this when reviewing King's Visa statement and saw purchases that included a $160,000 car and several gifts from Cartier. She would say to one friend, "He never gave me a diamond necklace."

It's also reported that King filed for divorce, siting irreconcilable differences and is seeking physical and joint legal custody of their two sons, Chance Armstrong (11) and Cannon Edward (9). This will be Larry's 846th divorce.

The couple's recent past has been rocky, at best, and one source would tell of an an incident that occurred about a year and half ago when Southwick and King were literally punching each other. And I'm not sure how to feel about this. I deplore violence against women, but who's to say she wasn't kicking the shit out of him? I'd let Larry King punch me all day if I could punch him back just once. I imagine it would be like someone throwing Q-tips at me. I'd make an entire weekend out of it as long as come Sunday at midnight, I could pop him just one time.


Monty-and-marge-fighting


Here's how I look at this, Shawn.  You're about to be independently wealthy and you won't have to touch a decrepit muppet anymore. Sure, he's famous, but few things sound more disgusting to me than his balls. In fact, nothing does. Larry King's balls are it.

My point is, fuck Larry King. He's an asshole and he's less appealing to look at than... everything. I can't even figure out why he's on TV. I'd rather watch my toe-hair gently sway in the wind. And I don't know if you've noticed, but he's kind of middle-aged. You could do better by throwing a dart into a prison holding cell. Take all of Larry's money, punch him in the face again, and then let your sister change his diapers in a couple of years. That may sound mean, but if this has been going on for five years?

They both deserve to be swimming in shit.


Source



MayoPie writes nonsense all of the time on his blog.







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Comments

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

AMEN!

Karen

This was the funniest thing I've read this week. "This will be Larry King's 864th divorce."

Bwhahahaha. People like King disgust me. I have a brother in law currently filing for his third divorce, from his third wife, who he married a few months after his second marriage ended after a couple of years. He has been married to his third wife for all of six months. It was sad, now it's just getting creepy.

Apryl's Antics

You mean there are TWO women on this planet who are willing to sleep with Larry King?

BaltimoreGal

Perfect accompanying video. PERFECT!

Mary

LMFAO!!! "Ice Trey"! 846th divorce! Like someone throwing Q-Tips at me.

OMG!! Priceless.

stacy

Unless people are now dying at 160 -- I would have to say Larry King is WELL more than "middle-aged" -- the guy is a senior citizen!

and seriously grody.

MayoPie

Yes, Stacy. I'm aware he's really old and actually not "middle-aged". You probably shouldn't take me literally. But in my defense, he is middle-aged for a tree or a Great Wall of China.

And yes, grody, indeed.

Fawn Amber

Ice Trey....Bahahhaa....I just love you.

That is all.

diamondcait

I simultaneously laughed and threw up in my mouth at the thought of Larry King's balls. Well played.

Laurie

Throw up a lot.

My life is normally a Larry-free zone but in a moment of insanity a couple of weeks ago I saw an interview he did (now everything is making me think of him "doing" things, wrong wrong wrong.) with Chelsea Handler and the way he was leering at her made me very unhappy.

And I don't even want to talk about two sisters in this kind of a situation. So gross.


Mamapajama

Yeah, I do not get the appeal of Larry King at all. He is so gross! Dude must be hung like a stallion and on a regimen of Viagra!

Suziannie

Love the line: "I'd rather watch my toe-hair gently sway in the wind."

I'm going to find a way to use that in conversation.

jodifur

I just read that he did not have a pre-nup. I repeat HE DID NOT A PRE-NUP. This is his 8th divorce.

He is an idiot.

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