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Justified: Man-Crush Still On

WeJustified-timothy-olyphant're four episodes in and after what I felt was a rather disappointing installment last week, Timothy Olyphant and crew brought it home this week with an extremely entertaining show. There were at least three parts where I laughed out loud and I may have even been sober. I can't remember, probably not. It's okay, though. I remember enough to tell you the awesome parts.

If you're just tuning in and missed it, you should read about when I professed my unnatural (or is it?) man-love for Olyphant, who plays Marshall Raylan Givens to perfection.

Tuesday's episode began with Ferris Bueller's best friend playing a dentist that would trade dental services to Mexican immigrants for tamales. A douchey and well-to-do patient would refuse to pay and Cameron Frye the dentist would catch the man outside. threaten to kill him with a syringe full of drain cleaner to the jugular before repossessing his teeth with a pair of dental pliers. That was pretty cool.  

Ferris-bueller-cameron-frye matthew broderick alan ruck

Well, the man didn't like that at all. He called the police and as it turns out, Cameron the dentist used to be a mob accountant named "Rolly"  who stole from them and had been on the run for 5 years. Givens had chased Rolly down five years earlier and offered him witness protection, Rolly agreed and gave Givens his word that he would go, but asked if he could finish watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer before they left. Marshall Givens agreed, went next door to get an ice cream cone and Rolly disappeared. Ha.

So now Rolly is a fugitive, has been on CNN and the mob is chasing him in addition to every government office with a badge. Rolly and his girlfriend (and office assistant) are now trying to get to Mexico, so they take all the gold fillings from his office, sell them for cash and try to acquire a car other than his girlfriend's. And this is where I laughed my ass off.

While Rolly was trying to steal a car and dump his girlfriend's Le Mans, an elderly black man with a prosthetic leg caught him in the act. Rather than turn him in, the old man took a shine to Rolly's car and traded his Accord to Rolly in exchange for the Le Mans.

Of course, it wasn't too long before the cops caught up to the Le Mans as they had already determined she was with him. The old man was extremely uncooperative with the cops, and when asked where he got the car he said, "in your sister's ass!"

For those of you unfamiliar with comedy, an old man telling a cop that he procured a vehicle from his sister's ass is dripping with comedic value, especially if you're not sober, which I may or may not have been. I think I made that clear, so let's just drop it. What are you, a cop or something? ( I got that joke from your sister's ass.)

Meanwhile, Rolly and his girl were working their Mexican patient contacts to locate a coyote that would take them to Mexico and Givens was close on their heels. On Givens' heels were two mob cronies assigned to wait until givens finds Rolly and kill them both. Givens would see he was being tailed, slide into their backseat in one of those awesome "hey wait, I was following you  and now you're in the back of my car! Uh oh!" scenes. I usually like those, but this one was one of the best I've seen in a while.

Givens would eventually catch up with Rolly's car shortly after they met the coyote, but before chasing them down would have to deal with the mob hit men who arrived at just about the same time. And here we have the western-style showdown that I believe will be a part of every episode. In case you hadn't guessed already, he totally shot those guys and even told a joke or two while doing it. I love that.

While Givens was dispatching of them, the coyote was trying to renegotiate the terms of their deal. When they didn't have the money the coyote demanded, he wanted to take it out in sex on Rolly's girlfriend. As you could imagine, Rolly didn't like that idea and expressed his displeasure. That's probably why he got stabbed, but I don't know why coyotes do things and I'm not going to claim to. Well, Rolly's pretty tough and he was able to get up and beat the coyote to death with a rock, which is pretty much exactly what I would have done.

Now Rolly and his girlfriend are moving toward the Mexican border and stop to pee. This is when Givens approaches and it seems he's going to get his man then... Boom! Sniper fire from the Mexican side of the border. Raylan had been warned by the mob guy right before he died that they had contacted their Mexican hitmen affiliates. That's just great.

So now everyone's hiding from the sniper, Rolly behind a mound and Givens and Rolly's girl behind a bus carcus. While they dodged sniper fire, Givens would ask why Rolly decided to become a dentist and Rolly would refer back to that time when Givens had let him slip years earlier. He credited "Hermie" from Rudolph (or as Givens called, "the little gay dude"- not that there's anything wrong with elfen claymosexuality). The elf that wanted to be a dentist. I don't remember much other than "little gay dude", really. All I could think about at that point was a claymation orgy in the North Pole and that was a craaaazy time.


As the sniper fire slowed, it occurred to Rolly that the Sniper was moving to get a better position, that soon, they would all be dead if he didn't do something. In an act of utter selflessness, Rolly would stand up, proclaim his love for his girlfriend and take a bullet in the chest and the sniper would take off into the Mexican hillside.

I thought this show couldn't survive without Walton Goggins, but I was wrong.  Provided they offer an interesting story line and someone like Cameron Frye (who also has a real name but I don't want to know what it is) Olyphant and a pretty good, I'd even say above average supporting cast. Plus, Givens' character doesn't always win. In this case, he lost his witness and the man who killed him right in front of his face. He'd lost him years earlier when he went to get an ice cream cone. Walker, Texas Ranger would never do that, and that's why I like this show. It's not Walker, Texas Ranger or anything close. It's different and definitely worth your time.


MayoPie writes nonsense all of the time on his blog.

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Jen O.

"When Cameron was in Egypt whatever...let my people goooo." HAHAHAHAH. Cameron was a riot. I was always so jealous of that drippy noise he could make by flicking his cheeks.

What were we talking about again?

Apryl's Antics

I don't think I'm going to watch this show. It would spoil the recap, which is full of awesome.


It was so weird to see Cameron that old. But I still liked him even as a mob accountant and it was a great episode.

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