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Justified Recap: I'm Still Heterosexual, But Just Barely


Ok, you guys asked for it and now you've got it. The Justified Recap. I've never done a recap before, so I'm going to learn as I go along. Where should we begin? Hmmm...probably the beginning. I think I may have knack for this.

Episode 1

Our hero (Timothy Olyphant/Raylan Givens - one who is trying to make me gay) kills a gun dealer in Miami. At a restaurant. Upper management hates that and sends Givens to his hometown of Kentucky as punishment.


This is also where the nefarious and former best friend to Givens (Walton Goggins/Boyd Crowder) would be lurking. He blew up a mosque. That was unnecessary.


Upon Givens return,he would be assigned to protect his old friend and Boyd's sister in-law (Joelle Carter/Ava Crowder) because she shot Boyd's brother (her husband) while he was eating dinner. She would calmly explain this to Givens before trying to seduce him, which was disturbingly hot. You see, Ava's husband/Boyd's brother was what we call an "asshole", so his untimely death was okay.


Givens would also break a nazi's nose. Awesome.

Episode 2

Our hero is charged with hunting down two escaped convicts but falls into their trap. They take his car, his gun, he says "shit" and then a commercial came on.

He would get razzed and go have a frank conversation with his old friend Boyd. They would pretend they liked each other, but you could tell they were going to try to shoot each other.

Givens would eventually find the escaped convicts bla bla bla while they were sorting out some love triangle and trying to recover money one of them had hidden and whatever. Back to the good stuff.

While Ana Crowder was preparing dinner for Givens, Boyd would beat Givens to her house. He'd be there waiting, gun in hand. A dinner table showdown would ensue, then Ana walked in with her big old rifle she used to kill Boyd's brother. When Boyd reached for his gun, quick-draw Givens shot Boyd in the chest.

(Oh, almost forgot. He broke that nazi's nose again.) 

Episode 3

No nazi nose breaking in this one, therefore thumbs down.

Givens would visit Crowder in the hospital, he would claim to have found god (again) and would change his ways. I hope he's lying, or this recap might end before it begins.

They would introduce a Starsky and Hutch "Huggy Bear-style" informant named "Arnold Pinter". Pinter is a Brooklyn con man wired into the Kentucky city he hates, and in exchange for information gets a blind-eye for his dealings. As a newbie hazing, Givens is made responsible for his handling.


(Did I mention no nazis were harmed in the making of this episode and how disappointing it was for me?)

When Givens and Pinter meet over egg creams which is basically chocolate milk with seltzer), Pinter turns Givens on to a fugitive, they catch him, bla bla bla.

After thier business was concluded, Pinter brings in a hired thug to collect a debt from a deadbeat gambler, the deadbeat gambler and the hired muscle would then team up and formulate a plan to take Pinter's money, one would double cross the other and shoot him, Givens would kill the last one standing. The end.

Oh, and then Givens would finally decide it was okay to have sex with Ana Crowder, and did. Awesome.

Compared to the first 2 episodes, this one was... how can I say... stupid? It had its redeeming moments, but at one point there was a stand-off between Pinter's hired thug and Givens in the classic western-style. It was hokey and I didn't like it.

I'm also not sold on Pinter's character. I found him annoying and over the top.

The first two episodes were littered with Goggins, and I underestimated his importance to this show. The good guy/bad guy chemistry between Olyphant and Goggins is wildly entertaining. Without it, the show seems, ehh.

I'm not done with it, but my excitement has gone from "full-throttle" to "turtle" in one show. Don't let me down, Timothy. I need you.

MayoPie writes nonsense all of the time on his blog.

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Apryl's Antics

Yay Timothy Olyphant!

Jen O.

Not to take anything away from the entirety of this recap, because it was awesome in it's own right, but the part where you go "he says "shit" and then a commercial came on." was awesome. Took this A recap and turned it into an A+ recap.


I found it disappointing that formerly PTSD (and rightly so, I might add) Ava is now his schmoopie and "reason to stay" (vomit). She was kind of kooky and obviously abused and I expected her to provide some interesting story lines or conflict, but THIS is now his love interest? It made me kind of depressed because I want him to have at least a season full of palpable tension with a hot lady-marshall or even a grocery store clerk before it escalates into something I can at least buy into. He gave it up too easily. Haven't these writers seen Moonlighting?

I'd still totally give him a cat bath. I'm just sayin.

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