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Larry King's Divorce is "Off"

Larry-King-Shawn-Southwick I'm not really sure what to say about this news.  Larry King and his wife Shawn Southwick are not divorcing after all.  Apparently she doesn't mind he is sleeping with her sister?  Allegedly.  

If I had to guess, I would guess it had more to do with that ridiculous postnup they had.  Apparently their lawyers have been arguing over the validity of it.  Where those same lawyers were when it was drafted I have no idea.

So these two crazy kids have decided to give marriage counseling a try.  He is said to be worried about the children if they split.  (Hey, Larry, maybe you should have thought of that sooner.)  I have absolutely no idea what she is thinking.


Larry's attorney, Dennis Wasser, said "Larry and Shawn met with the counselor today. It was decided that there will be no divorce activity for 2 weeks as several issues need to be discussed and resolved...There's a 50-50 chance this divorce is not happening,  His focus is on the best interest of his children. It's not clear to me which way he's going to turn on this issue."

Who thinks they stay together? 

source, source, source

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Nnnnggghhhh. Maybe she's trying what one of my brother in laws is trying--a "scare" divorcer. Seriously, he claims to be at his wits' end with his wife of over 20 years, who is spending them into a hole, so he's filing for divorce, but he claims he doesn't want to BE divorced, it's just a "wake up call" for her so she'll agree to go to counseling. Huh.

I gotta say, that woman has one of the most frighteningly skinny arms I have ever seen on a human being.

Fawn Amber

I'm with Karen. Someone get that woman a meatball sub.

There is not enough money in the world to make me sleep with that troll. What in the hell?

Washington "Oozing Charm This A.M." Cube

Funny what compels people to do what they do....like....oh say....money. My Funny Valentine, indeed. Wonder if that was part of the hospital wedding vows? "And yes, he can schtup my sister."

Larry looks like the Gollum, (as opposed to the Jewish Golem who is more attractive and interesting.)

Tolkien describes Gollum as bone-white or sallow (pale yellow.) At one point the Men of Ithilien mistake his silhouette (seen from a distance) for a tailless black squirrel. (That might explain the suspenders. No tail to keep his pants up.)

Gollum wore dark clothes and was often seen in poor light. The Hobbit states he has pockets, in which he keeps a tooth-sharpening-rock, goblin teeth, wet shells, and a scrap of bat wing. (I wonder if she can get that bat wing as part of her future settlement?)

The Gollum has six teeth, and seems "rather like a spider himself, or perhaps like a starved frog." (Starved frog. Check.)

Gollum is described as emaciated and gaunt (check), but possessing a vicious, wiry strength. Besides his appearance, in personality Gollum, or Sméagol is described by Tolkien in the chapter "The Taming of Sméagol", after he has been captured by Sam and Frodo: “ For that moment a change, which lasted for some time, came over him. He spoke with less hissing and whining, and he spoke to his companions direct, not to his precious self. He would cringe and flinch, if they stepped near him or made any sudden movement.
(Cringe? Flinch? Double check.)

Sméagol huh? Kinda sounds like "smegma." Something you don't want to be thinking about when you think about sexuality. ...and that would pretty much sum up Larry "The Smegma" King.


If I was married to him I'd WANT him to sleep with somebody else. Please! Ugh.

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