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Project Runway Recap: "The Big, Top Designers"

Project Runway Tim Gunn Due to circumstances that were entirely within my control (WENT OUT DRINKIN'), I didn't get to watch this episode until this morning, thus mega-crunching up my recapping time. So technically this might be more of a live blog than a recap. Is there a difference? I don't know. I don't really understand the Internet. Sometimes I write entire posts before realizing I'm actually just typing into a Word document, like Creed. Why is the shiny typing box thing beeping at me? Where are the tubes? What's THIS? Oh. It's Project Runway.


(Oh, and also: my toddler threw our remote at the wall and broke it, so I have no way to pause or rewind while watching. It took me 15 minutes to figure out how to even get the show to play using the actual buttons on the actual DVR. So if I  miss something, I miss it. And I'm typing really fast so I apologize if I miss any typos. Yeah, I'm all kinds of prepared this week.) 

Previously: Both Maya and Jonathan went home. Anthony came back. None of it was as dramatic as it would have been, once upon a time in say, Season Three. 

Anthony is like, a crazy animated morning person. That kind of makes him my nemesis. My adorable nemesis. Mila can't believe she's in the Final Five and in the Final Pre-Bryant Park Challenge. Neither can anyone else, sweetheart.

Oh hell, they send the designers to the circus. I hate the circus. One time we went on a school field trip to the circus and I got sick from the sawdust or something and they had to pull the bus over on the way home three times for me to puke. 

The challenge is to create high-end fashion inspired by the circus, NOT a circus costume. Two designers will go home. The designers are a little...wuh? Okay, whatever. They have 30 minutes to sketch.  

$300 at Mood. Jay has gotten more screen time so far than he has all season. Winner/Loser edit? Or just the fact that we're down to so few people there's not much footage to work with?

Tim announces that they have two glorious days for this challenge and there is much rejoicing.

Anthony notes that he's the only one using a different color palette, as he was inspired by an acrobat who was the only performer wearing non-shiny pastels. Emilio asks his fabric to "talk to Daddy." His fabric is all, "Shut up, Emilio."

Mila -- the designer who got all butthurt because nobody congratulated her for COMING IN SECOND THAT ONE TIME -- bitches about Emilio's ego and tendency to gloat after his wins. Ahmahgod, this woman.

Tim arrives and appears to have a mild stroke when Seth Aaron mentions he making a top hat. And then picks a fight with Emilio over his choice to do a primarily black-and-white look. Emilio's all, "I got this, Tim." Tim's all, "Shut up, Emilio."

And then he confuses Anthony with vocab words and tells Mila to ditch her ivory fabric. He says "Badass" to Jay. Thus concludes Tim Time. Moving on. 

Model time. Emilio suddenly realizes that his dress does indeed, need a little more color. A few designers think Jay's jacket is a little "Michael Jackson." They would...not be super wrong about this. Jay gives a little cracked-voice interview about questioning himself (just minutes after talking about how many people at home believe in him) and it's clear that he's Getting An Edit. But which one? Wooooooo!

*insert many many more reminders that this the LAST CHALLENGE before Bryant Park and the LAST CHANCE to wow the judges and LAST LAST LAST*

And look at that! It's runway time. But first: Mila and Jay cross-trash-talk each other. Team Jay! Kind of. I don't really care that much.

Oh man, as the models head out of the workroom, we see them from the back, and a couple of these looks (Mila and Seth Aaron? I think?) are FULL-ON COSTUME in the worst way imaginable. It's a parade of Mad Hatter Ringmasters.

Project Runway model catwalk

Anthony. Just like last week, he made a pretty simple flowy gown. Unlike last week, when the judges went overly gaga for it, they HATE this one. The Duchess Kors starts squinting at the fabric and finally jumps up and touches it before recoiling in horror at coming in contact with NON-NATURAL FIBERS. Some intern was probably sent running for the Purel. Heidi gets up to touch it as well and can't believe that Anthony's dress is basically $300 worth of polyester. And also: this is a dress inspired by Laura Bennett, not the circus. 

Project Runway model catwalk
 
Emilio. Okay, so he clearly had the best look on the runway. By a looooongshot. And while I would say that was more indicative to the questionable talent of some of his competitors than anything else, the judges just amp up the praise to crazy levels. The Duchess declares this to be the best look of the WHOLE SEASON. I really do love this dress, though. And it was a very good idea to listen to Tim this time and add that red.

Project Runway model catwalk

Jay. Oy, those fringe-y things on the shoulders. Do not like. However, this week he finally gets those "voluminous pants" he's been trying over and over again RIGHT. They are fabulous and finally not saddle-baggy. The judges have his model take the jacket off and the outfit is awesomely wearable. However...the challenge was "high-end runway," not "cute sportswear" and their reaction to the jacket is mostly mixed to meh. Much is made that they just aren't entirely sure who Jay is as a designer. 

Project Runway model catwalk
 
Mila. And here's where the judges lost me completely, because...they had...nice things? To say? About...this? Because...are we seeing the same outfit? I KNOW. I don't like Mila very much, but this outfit is WHY, even more than her personality. I don't get it. I don't like a single thing about it. In fact, let's just move on because the more I stare at it trying to see what the judges see, the angrier I get.

Project Runway model catwalk

Oh, come on.

Seth Aaron biffs again, this time in his area of jacket-and-pants expertise. This is a costume. It's good that he listened to Tim and skipped the top hat but THIS IS A COSTUME. And not an especially well-made one. Those pants are too baggy and the crotch is bulgy. The sleeves are an interesting idea but there was no movement and her hands never once appeared from the splits up the bottom (though her arms-at-side marchy walk probably didn't help). And it feels like Seth Aaron finally ran out of tricks this week, because everything -- from the collar to the puffy sleeves to the front flap to the tail -- is something he's done before. His runway voice-over seems to indicate that he knows it, though, because it's much more of a "I made what I made and it is what it is" than other weeks when he's really been in love with what he's done.

But the judges are oddly...positive this week, except over Anthony's fabric debacle. Saving face, I'd say, because if you rip apart the supposed "best of the best," you only draw attention to your show's own shitty casting decisions. It's obvious at this point that only Emilio and Seth Aaron really deserve the Bryant Park spots. (Maya would have and should have been the other, all her self-doubt aside.) And even though Seth Aaron has stumbled a bit in these last two challenges, everybody knows they aren't going to NOT send him to Bryant Park, so they all fixate on various small details of his look and offer vague praise of the overall idea. Mila got undeservedly picked as a judge favorite early on, and they are determined to go down with that ship, still trying hard to find things to praise about her shittastic look. 

They do that awful "Which two designers deserve to go with you to Fashion Week?" thing and Seth Aaron cringes. He chooses Emilio and Jay. Jay chooses Seth Aaron and Anthony. Mila chooses...I don't know. My cat jumped across my laptop and distracted me, but WHO CARES, LIKE THE JUDGES CARE. Emilio chooses Seth Aaron and Mila. Anthony chooses Emilio and Jay. 

Emilio wins, duh. He's a cocky bastard (on reality TV! imagine that!) but damn, they show quick glances of his work throughout the season and I would kill for some of those dresses. I just can't work up too much hate for the guy, just some mild eye-rolling. Seth Aaron is also in, and he cries, then tries to trick Emilio backstage into thinking he was cut. Emilio whacks him with a pillow in retaliation. 

Anthony is out.

MILA IS IN? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE? STAB IT WITH STICKS. STAB IT WITH STICKS!

And...Jay is also in. Oh, God. They both get to make collections, but in the end only one of those collections will actually be in contention to win the season. Which is just...so mean, really. Ugh. 

Miss Anthony leaves (again) with her head held high (again). Next week: Everybody cries. Except for Emilio, who shall bathe in their tears and gain strength from them, mwa ha ha ha. 






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Comments

Renee

I don't like Mila either, but I can't really figure out WHY I don't like Mila. WHY DON'T I LIKE YOU MILA? And the fact that she won't answer me through my TV makes me dislike her even more.

Alyssa

Definitely on Team Jay. Stupid Mila.

Dugi

Mila must go. Grrrr. stooopid Mila

funda62

Mila had the worst "outfit" up there. I literally screamed out loud when they said she was in and my oldest came raising to my room thinking that my flu was back. Sigh. I hate Mila and have from the beginning. She gives color blocking a bad name and her vampire color from this week sucked.

If Anthony had done his dress in bright colors he might have been in. Sob.

JellyBean

I laughed out loud when I saw Seth Aaron's outfit come down the runway. Can you imagine with a top hat? She looks like Beetlejuice. I was shocked that Seth Aaron & Mila didn't get ripped by the judges for their costume creations. I love the foreshadowing for next week when Emilio decides to ignore Tim's advice. Hasn't any of these contestants learned to NEVER go against Tim Gunn?

Margie

Can we PLEASE talk about Heidi's weird weird ponytail? Please?? What was that? It was so terrible and awful and I couldn't look away even though it burned a little. Am I totally wrong about this? It looked like something out of Napoleon Dynamite!




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