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There Are So Many Things Wrong With This Cover, I Don't Know Where To Start

Life and Style coverPunch #1 to the nuts of feminism: Kim Kardashian has lost 5 lbs in 5 days to exact revenge on her former boyfriend, Reggie Bush, for moving on too quickly.  Because that's healthy.  Not just the pound-a-day diet, the idea that she needed to get skinnier to make her ex jealous. 

And that's just the beginning of wrongness that is splattered all over the place with this week's Life & Style cover.

There has been a lot of talk about body image and how it can be so skewed when the unforgiving media and the eyes of the world are watching and judging.  And I'm not one to dwell unnecessarily, but I couldn't let this magazine cover go without some deserved criticism.

Kim is an amazing looking girl. I've said it before.  I don't think there is or ever was anything wrong with the size or shape of her body.  She looks healthy and beautiful and sexy and certainly should not be looking for ways to improve her looks.  I'd give her a pass if, say, her singular goal for losing weight was to improve her health.  And she claims that it is, partially.  But she is also quoted as saying "...it doesn’t hurt if someone notices."  Well, fine.  Sure it doesn't hurt, but trust me.  People were noticing before.

Maybe it was the magazine's writers and editors who coined her new figure her "Revenge Body", but improving her looks should have nothing to do with her recent breakup.  A "revenge body" sounds like something a scorned teenager would strive for, not a successful, intelligent, grown woman.

Life and Style cover

Junk Punch #2 is the photo of Tori Spelling.  Good.  Lord.  I'm not going to speculate about whether or not she has an eating disorder, other than to say that she appears to be significantly thinner than what any rational person would consider to be healthy.  She's always been thin, but she looks sick.  My only hope is that these photos are taken at the wrong moment, and/or photoshopped, but I don't think they are.  Poor girl.

And the Grande Finale of Sack Whacks is The Queen of Teenage Role Models herself, Ms. Heidi "Let's See How Big These Puppies Will Go!" Montag.  Because of course she wants bigger boobs.  Sure, she can't show simple human emotion without the assistance of emoticons.  Sure, she can no longer tie her shoes unaided.  Sure, she's on the verge of needing a balance-correcting walker.  Sure, she'll never be able to hug all those Spiedi Spawns she's dying to create.  IF THE HUMAN BARBIE DOLL WANTS BIGGER BOOBS, GET THE BARBIE HER BOOBS.

Why are all of these naturally beautiful celebrities trying to morph themselves into something they're not?  Tori seems to need help, seriously.  Heidi is certifiably bat-shit crazy (allegedly; where I am doing the alleging) .  Kim should make sure she does things for the right reasons, and making a douchey ex jealous is NOT right.

And of course Kate breaks down.  When does Kate not break down?

[source]   


. . . . .
Jen O. dedicated this morning's hugs with her kids to Heidi. She doesn't know what she's missing.






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Comments

barbsobel

Heidi makes me laugh, so utterly ridiculous she is. just wait until she starts having back pain, like some of us naturally busty babes. those implants will be out before her Her Whineness can count to ten. can she count to ten? hmmm

clarabella

That KK story is ridiculous. "How I lost 5 lbs. in 5 days"? It's called distress over a break-up. I've lost a lb. a day getting over something really stressful in the past.
I'm not saying that's what Kim did, and honestly I don't really care. I think this whole cover is just bogus. Just wanted to throw it out there that if you've just ended a relationship that was very important to you, it's not hard to lose 5 lbs. from sheer grief. Not hard to gain them either...

G.G.R

Oh wow Tori. Wasn't she starting a fry business or something? She should probably have some of those.

iambellaluna

I know how Kim lost 5lbs in 5 days, she took a shit. Seriously. To me she looks the same as ever.

As for Heidi, I'm sensing the next Pamela Anderson.

incognito

Let me make sure I understand this cover:

Kim Kardashian is thinner: YAY!
Tori Spelling is thinner: BOO!
Heidi Montag is trying to give the people what she thinks they want: CRAZY!

Crazy like a fox. No, I agree, the poor woman needs help, but this cover is insane making.

JellyBean

So if Kim lost 5 lbs to make her ex jealous (aka want her back) then why didn't she lose it while they were still together so he wouldn't leave her? I don't support of any this weight loss to keep/reunite a relationship since your guy should love you regardless, but the logic of her "revenge weight" is lost on me.

funda62

I love these trashy magazine posts. Didn't they use to be on Wednesdays?

Muirnait

Oh the mixed messages are just messing with my head. Be skinny! Not that skinny! Have a great rack and be ridiculously beautiful - naturally! Body dysmorphia is sad and wrong, but let's encourage it in any way possible!




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