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The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Finale

The_biggest_loser Thirteen weeks ago, 15 MamaPop writers were fatter than they are now. They set goals, began to work out, and started eating better. Some talked trash. Some were humble. All of them craved the kind of pride that can only stem from becoming more sexually desirable. But there can be only one Big Fat Loser Winner.

CONFETTI!

Biggest-loser-confetti MONEY!

Money PRIDE!

Gay-Pride-Parade

PSYCHE! There's no I in MamaPop, sucka! We started as a team and we're ending as a team.

Imagine us now (imagine! are you imagining?), running in slow motion, hand-in-hand, heads tossed back in joyous laughter, crossing the finish line... together.

It's like we're Rocky & Apollo Creed, racing on the beach, tying, frolicking in the surf, filled with gay mirth.

Freeze Frame! Happy. Proud. Lighter (nice ass, Palinode!).

*

Combined, as a unit, the MamaPop staff sought to lose a certain number of pounds (???). Then, some people quit, some new writers joined, and I had to do math. It was terrible. I ran out of fingers. But I'm pretty sure that the combined goal weight of the 15 current players was...

272 pounds.

Wow!

Okay, let's gather the MamaPop staff up on the scale and tally our final weight loss...

312... 210... 285... 1999... 114... (ohmygodsuspense....)...

...

...

235 POUNDS!

Holy shit that was close!  37 pounds? Somebody vomit. Take a big poop. Shave a limb. Push Amalah off the fucking scale.

We were THIS close! Nonetheless, MamaPop lost the equivalent of Cleveland Browns quarterback, Brady Quinn. Not bad. Not bad at all.

*

On a totally serious note, I'd like to thank everyone at MamaPop who went along with this crazy scheme. Everyone who played lost at least 7 pounds and well over half of the players hit their goal weight loss. Big pats on the back and nice asses! What a great collection of nice asses!

*

How's your ass? Were you able to hang in there the whole 13 weeks? Add your weight loss to 235 or the most recent comment and let's tally it up.

Take us home, Warren Central Connection...







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Comments

Out-Numbered

Way to go MamaPop! Way to go! Cue the Joe Cocker song...

maya

i have been in awe of you guys since you started! awesome job! i've dropped about 10 lbs. since you guys started this 13 weeks ago, so it'd be a total of 245... oh, and the cleveland browns have done a little pound shedding, too! brady quinn is a bronco now.

maya

i have been in awe of you guys since you started! awesome job! i've dropped about 10 lbs. since you guys started this 13 weeks ago, so it'd be a total of 245... oh, and the cleveland browns have done a little pound shedding, too! brady quinn is a bronco now.

Dawn

Awesome job Mamapoppers! Since you started 13 weeks ago, I've dropped about 15 pounds for a personal total of 54. Though 30 of it was pregnancy weight...but still! It all counts.

*smacks asses* Great job everyone!

Dawn

Well, if I had remembered to add to Maya's total, the total loss is up to 260! Only 12 more to go!

BHJ

Dawn brings us to 260.

And thanks for the correction, maya. I can't change it from work so just act like I said Broncos.

PB&N

Thank you Maya - I was about to bust BHJ's balls on the Brady Quinn thing.

I gained 11 - but I am pregnant so TOTALLY doesn't count. Right? Right?!

Txtingmrdarcy

You guys rock.

And I love Amalah to death, but pushing her off the scale was the funniest thing I've read all day.

*toast to you all with a Twinkie- er, bottled water!*

Alex

Congrats, Team! I've very much enjoyed the progress updates. High fives all around!

Alex

Congrats, Team! I've very much enjoyed the progress updates. High fives all around!

Michael @badassdadblog

You guys all rock and are super hot. I've lost 12 in the last 13 weeks. Does that make the goal?

Amy H

I lost 10 pounds during the 13 weeks. It was fun to play!

Becky

I lost 17 lbs along with you guys. Thanks so much for the push Mamapop!

Suzy Q

I lost 10 pounds but started three or four weeks in. Of course, over the past long weekend of my birthday, I think I might have packed on 5. I'm afraid to get on the scale.

So..10! I'm going with 10 pounds lost.

Congrats to all!

stacs

I lost nothing, but have really enjoyed laughing out loud to the updates while I eat Dove bars. I will miss those days.....

Kara

I wanted to lose 15, I lost 5- but still! 5!




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