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The MamaPop Biggest Loser Challenge: Week 12

The_biggest_loser logo Twelve weeks down. One to go. This week, we had a lot of losses and people staying the same, but no gains, which I'm hoping was a direct result of me being mean to everybody. Positive reinforcement will only take you so far. There comes a time when you need some good old fashioned feeling terrible about yourself.
Jurgen Nation lost 11 pounds for a total of 15 pounds. "Um.  So, GOAL MOTHAFUCKAZ!"

BHJ lost 3 pounds for a total of 39 pounds. The weight loss won't stop. I'm 9 pounds past my goal. I'm trying potato chips. I may eat some Easter candy. It's a slippery slope.

Karen lost 2.5 pounds for a total of 7 pounds. "Running and shredding like a mofo."

Amalah lost 2 pounds for a total of 10 pounds. "Goal, motherfuckers."

Kurt lost 2 pounds for a total of 10 pounds. "I'm still five pounds from goal so it looks like this is the week were I buckle down and get super-serious and maybe even exercise a little bit because nothing says 'commitment' like last-minute rushing around to meet your goals. That's the sure mark of a winner and not of anyone who is desperate. I'm sure the weight will stay off after this is over. No really."

Out-Numbered lost 2 pounds for a total of 10.5 pounds. "I am an unstoppable force. I am 2.5 pounds from my goal weight. I can crush steel with my bare hands. I must break you. If he dies, he dies. This shit is as good as done by next week. I am made of metal and gefilte fish."

Mayopie lost 2 pounds for a total of 7 pounds. "I actually went for a bike ride. It makes me understand my need for a car. I've cut down on chocolate and soda and have been exercising a little. I'm back on track. Probably."

Jennie lost 1 pound for a total of 20 pounds. "Finished my first 5K on Sunday. Need to work on eating well. I've slacked just a little this week on that front."

Motherbumper lost 1 pound for a total of 9 pounds. "Holy fuckballs. I have power walked every moment allowable (yes I'm an 85 year old blue haired mall walker), eaten all the good foods and none of the bad, stayed hydrated and apparently that's all I could melt away. I need to get another cold, that seemed to work well for me."

Amber lost 1 pound for a total loss of 16 pounds. "I'm on my period, so 1 pound is not bad. Plus, whatever, I'm working out. I started taking a conditioning class at school and went to the state-of-the-art rec center at my school that I pay $95 a quarter for the privilege to use, whether I do or not. I bought a locker for the quarter and busted my ass on the elliptical, doing ten minute miles and shit. By the way, keeping pace with "Date with the Night" by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs with resistance and incline set to full tilt, is equivalent to about four shots of espresso."

Sarah remained the same for a total loss of 11 pounds. "I blame periods, cheetohs and beer for no loss. I credit phentermine and exercise for no gain."

TwoBusy remained the same for a totoal loss of 19 pounds. "Still unchanged from last week... and the week before. I guess I should be glad I'm maintaining, but losing my treadmill killed my momentum. I'm getting it fixed in 2 weeks, which is good for me long-term but clearly gives me no hope of reaching my goal by the end of the competition."

Miss Banshee remained the same for a total loss of 25 pounds. "I'm 5 from goal, which means I'll have to sever a limb to get to goal by next week. However, I am inspired by Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, and vow no more canned soup and string cheese. Please GOD, no more canned soup and string cheese."

Jodi remained the same for a total loss of 10.5 pounds. "It is passover, which means 2 nights of Seder which is horrible food.  And crazy dietary restrictions. So the fact that I could maintain anything is impressive to me."

Palinode remained the same for a total loss of 10 pounds.

*

Congratulations to everybody who hit their goals a week early. Let's ask Ali Vincent what she thinks.

Ali-vincent-biggest-loser "Hi. I'm Ali Vincent. You guys are awesome!"

Thanks, Ali. You're awesome too. You used to be so fat and now look at you! I mean. I'm sure you were awesome before too. I'm not saying that just being skinny makes you awesome. I'm going to stop talking now, Ali Vincent.

*

We set out on this journey to lose 272 pounds. We've lost 219. We have a week left to go. We probably won't make it. But we will fail proudly.







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Comments

DianaCLT

Jurgen. Can I call you Jurgen? How about Ms. Nation? Anyway - HOW DID YOU LOSE 11 POUNDS IN A WEEK?!!?!?!!? PLEEEEEEEEEEASE SHARE!

Suzy Q

Yeah, I think I might need to call shenanigans on Jurgen Nation losing 11 pounds in one week. Did she have a baby? Lop off an appendage? Get liposuction? I MUST KNOW!

Anyway, I'm down 1 for a total loss of 10. I need more roughage. Or crack. Or something.

Angela

I'm really proud of all of you! Some of those goals were really high, and you've all made big strides towards your goals, even if you didn't meet the time limit. I hope you'll keep going and meet your personal goals, and most importantly: feel great!

Now if I can just borrow some of that attitude for once I've had the twins, cause I've got some serious weight-losing to do then!

sweetsalty kate

I don't know who Ali Vincent is but she looks like a very very healthy oompa loompa.




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