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Upcoming 3D Movies I Might Pass On

3d-audience My family and I go to the movies a fair amount, usually at least once a month. And I'm one of those people who actually likes the 20 minutes of trailers that play before the movie. I like seeing what's going to be coming out so that I can say, "Ohh, that looks good, we'll have to see that," or mercilessly snark on it, a la Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The past few times that we've gone to the movies, we've seen at least one or two trailers for movies that will be coming out in 3D. What was seemingly a novelty just a year ago is suddenly industry standard. Perhaps because 3D technology is so much more advanced than the old-fashioned kind that required red-and-blue paper glasses, enthusiasm for such movies is just too bankable to skip.

However. I think that we can all agree that 3D technology is being applied to some movies that really don't seem to need it.

The husband and the son and I were out to see...something. I can't remember what now. Maybe Clash of the Titans (in 3D, of course), and a trailer for country singer Kenny Chesney's movie about his summer 2009 tour came on. I strongly dislike mainstream country music and started snarking. Not two seconds after the words, "This shit better be in 3D," flew out of my sarcastic mouth, the trailer announcer boasted, "KENNY CHESNEY IN 3D!!!!!!!ONE1"

I was rendered silent for a good minute and a half. I mean, what does a concert movie need with 3D? And what parts of the concert are going to display the technology. If I had to guess, I would say that Chesney does a lot of pointing in the audience's direction, or perhaps running to the ends of his cross-shaped runway. And I wouldn't be surprised if he takes off into the air with the aid of a harness at some point.

I want to state that I'm a big advocate of doing stuff in movies simply because it looks cool, I'm just not sure how useful it will be in this particular genre.

I will give this 3D revival credit for this, though: it seems to have caused a resurgence in straight-up B-horror movies, which I adore. Give me some stilted acting, a screenplay that reads like the efforts of a seventh-grader, took four people to write, and is only a slight reworking of an existing horror classic, and gratuitous sex and/or nudity, and I will gladly give you two hours of my life.

Enter...Piranha 3D.

If this is wrong, then I don't want to be right.







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Comments

BaltimoreGal

Ol' Kenny is also known to wear some super-tight jeans...

DianaCLT

BaltimoreGal - I don't think I needed the visual you just FORCED into my brain. So? What? The audience might feel like Kenny's junk is being thrust at them?!? YIKES!

If any concert is to be in 3D, I guess a Country concert is the right one. It'll feel like the brim of his cowboy hat is RIGHT THERE, about to poke y'all in the forehead!

Silver

That Pirhana movie?! BRILLIANT!

Silver

*piranha. (i was just so EXCITED!)

Mamapajama

I HATE 3D movies, it freaks my eyes out and gives me eyestrain. I see it in 2D or wait for the DVD. Ridiculous!
The piranha movie does look pretty awesome though, I have to say. I'll wait for the DVD to come out so I can rent it.

Washington "EWWW...She Didn't Say That" Cube

The only 3D I want to see is porn. You know what high def does to actor's skin on tv? Magnify and pulse out into the audience every social disease and dribble. That will dry up the 3D craze like a good dose of Suprax.

lori

On the weekend we saw a trailer for some dance movie in 3D. WTH do we need a 3D dance movie for? Are they going to be shooting out of the screen at me? kick me in the head?

Issa

I am so over the 3D. I can't go to them. It gives me migraines. It bugs the shit out of me that almost all kid movies are 3D right now.

Jen O.

I hate 3D so much, I want movies to be in 1D. What is that? Is that radio? Miming? I'll take it.




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