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Amanda Seyfried Now Available on the Quantum Level of Reality

Amanda-seyfried-sgs-022441 With the modest but reassuring $13.9 million success of Letters to Juliet over the weekend, Summit Releasing has decided to disperse up-and-coming starlet Amanda Seyfried over the entire globe in aerosol form.

"We're really enthusiastic about this one," a company source was quoted as saying.

"Our test marketing has shown a real desire to enjoy the buxom, doe-eyed actress as tiny invisible particles that will actually inhabit the biosphere on a quantum level and shape our reality - possibly our very dreams".

"The 18-to-25 year-old male demographic pumped its fist and shouted 'Boo-yah!' at the idea, which our marketing department considers a very positive indicator", the source added.

"Boo-yah!" agreed a random 14 year old boy, who had downloaded the erotic thriller Chloe for its thirty seconds of Seyfried nudity but gave up after an hour of "boringness".

Seyfried-collider-2

The new Seyfried Collider

Summit intends to capitalize on the near-universal appeal and box office power of the actress, who made us laugh in Mean Girls  and touched our hearts in Mamma Mia! and Dear John.

"Amanda is super stoked about this career move," a close friend was quoted as saying.  "And the process is pretty much painless.  At least, I hear that being bombarded with accelerated zinc-70 isotopes is painless.  It's quick, at any rate".

At press time, she was "resting comfortably" in the nanodrone reassembly chamber and could not be reached for comment, although two decay chains of 277-119 were observed in irradiations of 208-Sf targets with 70-Zn projectiles of 343.8 MeV of kinetic energy.

"That's a good thing," a scientist said.

Ms. Seyfried is scheduled to appear everywhere, for all time.







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Comments

ThePeachy1

Excellent ... can they do with my ex, it would cause the issue of obesity cause no one would be able to eat until his stank cleared the air...

kdiddy

I nominate you for President of Science.

ozma

Love the graphic.

Now Scarlett Johansson has to become a D-brane oscillating string.




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