BREAKING: Isabella Rossellini is a Porn Star. A Green Porno Star. FOR OUR CHILDREN.

Isabella Rossellini gets f&cked by a duck. 

You think I'm kidding? 

Yes, you are actually seeing Isabella Rossellini, dressed in a duck costume, being humped by a mechanical duck muppet.

Would you have a look at that?  He is really, really giving it to her.  And look at her smile!  She is very pleased with the duck rogering.  Very pleased, indeed. 

Rossellini’s multiple Webby Award-winning series, GREEN PORNO, SEDUCE ME, airs on the Sundance Channel and features her in animal and insect costumes acting out the seduction rituals of these creatures of our Lord Buddha John Smith Xenu.

Ever wonder about the foreplay rituals of bedbugs?  Whether they light some candles, put on a little Luther Vandross and a sateen robe whilst stretched on a bearskin rug (actually, your sheets, you filthy bum) with a glass of cham-pan-yuh? 

Turns out they actually stab each other!  What, so I grew up in a family of bedbugs?  HA HA, I'm here all week, folks.  No, really.  Quoth Rossellini, "Bedbugs have penises like knives."

Oh, yes she did go there.  SHE WENT THERE FOR OUR CHILDREN.

“The secret to GREEN PORNO is that they allow of us to laugh but they also communicate true scientific information,” said Rossellini. “Because of what I learned in doing research for this series I felt strongly that there needed to be an added environmental element to really inform people how delicate the futures of these creatures are.”

Directed, written by and starring Isabella Rossellini, the five two-minute portraits explore the unconventional seduction rituals of creatures ranging from bugs to cuttle fish. In the same vein as Rossellini’s multiple Webby Award-winning series, GREEN PORNO SEDUCE ME, offers an entertaining yet informative look into the bizarre seduction rituals that often precede the mating process. Following its online debut, the series, produced by Isabella Rossellini, Rick Gilbert and Jody Shapiro, will be available on Video On Demand beginning May 5th and premiere on Sundance Channel on May 25th at 9:50pm ET.

Hey, you. *wink* You feeling a little frisky?  How 'bout some bee peen action, eh? 

"After my comical series, GREEN PORNO, on how animals mate," Rossellini says, "I wanted to showcase a new series about how animals seduce each other with different, varied and incredible strategies...they might give us some new ideas about how to conquer our mates!"

While I'm not quite sure I'm keen on being "conquered" by a penis butcher knife, I do love what she's trying to do in terms of education. What a hoot, as they'd say in the 50s.

Here's a short promo of her upcoming series, SEDUCE ME:

I am honestly speechless.  I think I love her.  And, if nothing else, you can discover and enjoy your porn star, I mean, GREEN PORNO name.

I'm Meadow Spittlebug.  *purr*

Comments

[Apryl's Antics]

I watched the one about snail mating this morning. Isabella Rossellini is so butter.

[your neighborhood librarian]

There's a book. It's in the library. I reviewed it. I did not know that my face could do "horrified admiration" for 170 pages.

[Holly]

Isabella is so awesome. I can't even stand it.
-signed Penny Pupae

[diamondcait]

My name is Doodlebug. Anyone wanna swap?

[Washington "Ciao Bella" Cube]

This is a woman born of an affair. This is Blue Velvet. This is Wild at Heart. David Lynch, Martin Scorcese. She incites passion.

Big Duck? Big Night! A swan mating with a mallard.

Isabella wrote a book a few years back, and one thing I saved (and loved) was the section where she wrote out her mother's rules for cleaning up after a party. Ingrid? Isabella? Women pragmatic after the passion.

[AlyGatr]

I saw some of these clips on The Soup last week. It was pretty disturbing and not in an "OMG, I think I'm going to write to the network and have that smut taken off of TV" sort of way. It was more like "wow, she's getting into that whole duck climax scene just a little too much" kind of horror. Somehow I now imagine her wandering around her local zoo getting off during mating season.

[Marilyn]

These are pure genius.

[Marilyn]

These are pure genius.

[schmutzie]

I love luv LUFF Isabella Rossellini.

[Leona Leafhopper]

I also saw the clips on The Soup, and I gotta confess, as a hormonally whacked out preggo girl, I got a little warm watching the duck scene. Who wouldn't want to be seduced by a corkscrew penis?

[rockle]

We just saw ducks in flagrante at the park the other day, and I thought about these movies from a clip I saw on "The Soup." Also, my Green Porno name is "Peppermint Elegans," which makes me sound like someone who should be on RuPaul's Drag Race.