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Christian Anti-Kissing Video Goes Viral, Causes Chills and Cramps

Pamelas-prayer

Want to see something creepy? Like maybe this clip from a Christian abstinence "education" video about waiting until you're married...to kiss?


Pamela's Prayer is so creepy and so ridiculous, you'd think it was a parody. You'd be wrong, and I'm so sorry about that, because while I'm not Christian myself, I feel bad for those of you out there who are what I like to call "reasonable Christians," because you have this kind of crap to deflect. I imagine a whole lot of you shouting, "MOST OF US AREN'T LIKE THAT!" 

Could Pamela's dad be any creepier? Maybe if he were recast with Crispin Glover. Maybe.

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Comments

Amy @ The Bitchin' Wives Club

This made me despise the Baptists and Holy Rollers that I grew up with just a teensy tinesy bit more than I did before.

Ew.

It also explains why so many of them were pregnant before graduation.

Suzy Q

I wish I hadn't just eaten breakfast before seeing this. When was it made, 1984? With a script from 1954? Creepy Dad is Creepy. FAIL.

Keli

I think the thing that creeps me out the most (and there are a lot in this one) it's how controlling the dad seems.

Yuck.

Amy

The lovely couple got married at age 16, due to intense sexual frustrati- I mean, according to God's plan! Yeah, that's it! And they lived in Creepy Dad's compound, happily ever after...

OR DID THEY?

natasha

I have seen this all the way through! I was around 12 when I saw it and knew then how ridiculous it was, but seeing it as an adult is even worse. (And yes, I was one of those baptist teenagers that got pregnant at 15!)

fridita

Holy hell. I really WANT for this to be a parody. Absolutely terrifying.

Hi, I'm Natalie.

Ok... I'm going to have nightmares about that. Ew.

cindy w

Oh hi, totally reasonable Christian here shouting MOST OF US AREN'T LIKE THAT!!! I did a whole hell of a lot more than kissing before I got married. And I'm reasonably certain that I'm not going to Hell for it. This video is BEYOND creepy.

P.S. I also voted for Obama. And you know what? Jesus still loves me. Suck on THAT, Creepy Anti-Kissing Dad.

Elizabeth

When Josh Duggar was engaged to Anna on 18 (now 19) Kids and Counting, they made it very clear that their first kiss would be at their wedding after being pronounced man and wife. They held hands a lot but that was it.

Personally, I'm glad I knew BEFORE marrying my husband that I liked the way he kissed :)

Stephanie

Ick. That was awful. And creepy. I actually wanted to punch that dad. "If you had listened to your father..." Double ick.

ozma

Oh man, the HAIRCUTS!!!

My husband is such a tramp. Ew. I don't want him now. He's kissed someone else. He's just a used up wad of kleenex. How do I find me one of them never been kissed fellas?

I'm sorry. I love this video!!! So much!!!

Someone needs to send this to John Waters. Stat.

Deb Rox

For some reason calls to mind Bill boning Margene one night and telling her she's a bad girl, then giving it to Nicolette the next night, telling her she's a good girl. Fundies of all sorts are such a creepy subculture.

Fairly Odd Mother

Do you notice Creepy Dad has no wife in this video? It's probably because the wife realized he had the breath of a dying camel and drooled while he kissed, and she couldn't take it anymore.

DianaCLT

...what Cindy W said!

It's amazing that we lived through the '80s without realizing how completely creepy and effed up it was. Last American Virgin? That was a big mainstream hit and is all kinds of creepy.

Suziannie

I stumbled across the whole thing once a long time ago when my cable was out. The only thing that came in for weeks were really bad movies like this-but this is the only one I remember so many details of. I *think* in the movie the kids actually finish COLLEGE before marrying so they can kiss.

I went to high school in a small east Texas town where there were plenty of pledges to remain a vrigin-but no one would have considered never kissing.

Kim

OH yes, and OF COURSE the boy who waits for her is SO good looking.

Sarah P

I like how (Actual Kiss Not Shown) but Dad's face gives away his enormous erection at the site of his daughter's first kiss.

anne nahm

Yeah, I'm sure it all works for the best with absolutely no practice and a lot of high expectations. It's like I plan on telling my kids: Here's a cool car. Now I know you're sixteen, so I don't want you to practice driving at all. Instead, just wait until you find the right guy, get married, and then get behind the wheel. *Then imagine me in thr roll of Creepy Dad, and when they drive off for the very first time together, you see a giant fireball reflected in the glint of my Creepy Eyes*

Irma Floresta

I'm with Sarah P, me thinks Daddy was having impure thoughts about his little Pammy when she kissed her 16 year old husband.

Listen, if you want to save your virginity for marriage, I think that's awesome, the two of you can figure out logistics at your leisure.

But kissing? Kissing is how you find out if there's a spark between you-- you don't have to let it "flame out of control" (SEMI-snort, I'm trying to be respectful, here) but I think most of us have gone on long anticipated dates with men we thought were super hot....only to kiss them and say, "meh."

All those bad kissers out there, the ones who left you physically indifferent after you kissed them? Imagine if you had to spend the rest of your life saddled to someone who doesn't even turn you on at that fundamental level??

Sweetney

Umm, I need to go take a shower now.

Karen

ZOMG it's Edward Cullen years from now, as a father. Just as controlling with Renesme as he was with Bella!
Creepilicious!

Scatteredmom

I had a friend who didn't kiss anyone until she was married. I admit I thought it was a little weird.

That video is WAY TOO CREEPY and reminds me of my pentecostal upbringing. Ew.

funda62

And they totally make the friend look like a slut because she was date raped. Yuck!




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