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Grey's Anatomy Prepares For Its Finale With Blood & Lust Plus Howard Cunningham Rolls Over In His Grave

Alex-karev COULD ALEX CATCH A FUCKING BREAK, PLEASE?!? Grey's Anatomy is a tangled mess of lust and love and broken hearts. Let's try to make some sense of this orgy.

First of all, Derek and Meredith are still together and no one is cheating or wants to cheat and no one else is in love with either of them or wants to destroy their marriage and the reason is simple. They're both irritating as hell and deserve each other. Check this dude out.

Derek-shepherd Ha ha hahahhaha  hhah ahaa ha.

Oh, Derek.

*

Okay, so ha ha ha sorry. Serious, now.

*

Here we go. Owen wants Yang to move in with him. This is a dumb idea that I bet he never cleared with his therapist. Crazy people are always looking outside themselves for quick fixes. But Owen needs to get his issues resolved and his meds straight before he even thinks about living with a woman as exquisitely complex as Yang.

Yang is a jewel. Owen is a nut.

But before she'd move in with him, Yang demanded that Owen clarify his feelings for Teddy, which activated his Iraq complex, which makes all the veins pop out of his neck. Yang's lucky that he didn't choke her while screaming "GEORGE BUSH SOLD MY BLOOD FOR OIL AND YOU'RE GIVING ME HASSLES ABOUT TEDDY?!? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! WHY DO YOU MAKE ME HURT YOU WHEN I LOVE YOU?!?"

But he didn't. He freaked about not knowing how he felt about Teddy because she was all wrapped up in the war and dead bodies and I can't remember what else. The gist is that he blew it when he needed to say "Teddy? Teddy who?" By the by, Teddy was on the stairwell and heard Owen's whole frothy speech, no doubt setting aflame the dry kindling of her heart.

Yang's not moving in with Owen.

Conveniently, Teddy walked in on Sloan in bed with that no good Mercy Wester, Reed. The show seems to have abandoned the divide between Mercy West and Seattle Grace, but I still hate Mercy West people. They're snooty and I hate their scrubs. Anyway, Sloan guns for a threesome, which I thought was slick problem solving, but Teddy was a no go, which frees her up for Owen while freeing Sloan up for Lexi. Reed's just a dirty whore from Mercy West.

Lexi thinks she's over Sloan and asks Alex to be a couple and he agrees that they're "a thing". Then he figures out that a girl who tried to claw her own eyes right out of her face wasn't really schizophrenic. She just had a small hole in her inner ear that freaked her out. He fixed it, the girl wept at her new found normalcy, and her parents embraced in tears.

Check your watches.

Alex has been happy for, what, 30 seconds? He's getting ready to go celebrate with the girlfriend that he JUST started going steady with when Sloan asks her to marry him. Alex can't win. He fell in love with that psycho with the rebuilt face and that was a mess. Then he fell in love with Izzie and she got brain cancer. But she didn't die. She left him! Now he lets his hard edged guard down for 30 seconds with Lexi and Sloan's about to swipe her. Look for Alex to rip his own eyes out of his face or stab himself in the heart with a lethal dose of valium. Poor Alex.

Some girl got half her face burned off and learned that it was okay to cry. Yawwwwwwn.

Bailey finally gave it up to The Anesthesiologist but caught him being all flirty with a nurse the next day. He explained it all away by saying that she was the meanest nurse on the floor and flirting was just a way to get favors, but I don't know about this guy. Did you catch his cocky "Yeah, this bitch is mine" face when Bailey finally folded? It was subtle. The writers want us to like this guy. He's very charming and funny. But mark my words. He's gonna rip Bailey's heart out of her chest and show it to her while it's still beating. He's too slick to be nice.

Arizona and Callie lost control in an elevator and kissed each other hard, which was cool because, well, lesbians.

*

BHJ FINALE PICKS:

Owen and Teddy. Sloan and Lexi.

The bullet in the preview goes to... CALLIE. This is a total guess but I based it on her irrational desire for a baby being an intuition of her own death.

The shooter? Easy. It's Tucker on a rampage. Dudes feel it in their bones when their ex-wives are getting nailed. As soon as The Anesthesiologist nailed Bailey, Tucker bought a gun.

NOTE: If Yang gets shot and killed, I will not watch a single episode of Season 7 nor speak of this program ever again.


. . . . .
Black Hockey Jesus can't believe that Mrs. Cunningham spent her whole life with Howard when she really loved the guy she lost her virginity to before he married her best friend. Poor Howard!






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Comments

Sarah

Alex-karev COULD ALEX CATCH A FUCKING BREAK, PLEASE?!? -- I agree so fuckin much! What the hell is it with the writers constantly shitting on Alex?! They give him something to be happy about and then cruelly steal it from him 2 seconds later! It makes me rage...Cut the guy some slack already!

Muirnait

I feel sad for Alex, too, but I want Mark and Lexi back together. Or I at least don't want Alex and Lexi. I mean, he said he was just "walking like a duck" anyway. :P

Rachel C

why isn't that hot man Mercy Wester Jackson Avery sleeping with anyone yet. He is HOT. Who can he sleep with in an on-call room?

heidi

BHJ: Your PS has me in stitches.

Rachel C: AGREED.

Dawn

No joke about Alex. I'm clinging to the hope that when Mark asked Lexie to move in with him she laughed at him and didn't want anything to do with serious for like 10 years or so.

A shooter finale? yawn.

My vote is bullet for Ben - because he has a pilot show for this fall.

The shooter? Izzie - as long as the last bullet is for her character and she dies yelling "George I'm coming for you! 3some with you and Denny soon!"

Erin

Oh, but someone DOES want Derek -- that annoying Mercy Wester who is his new assistant or whatever. God, she drives me nuts. So nuts I haven't even learned her name. You know, the one who had the notebook and Lexi read it and then made fun of her nose job just to rattle her, and then she got fired, and then Derek hired her whiny little butt back?

G.G.R

Yes! Karev! Wtf! He is my second favorite character, after Yang.

I want something to happen with Meredith and Derek because they are so YAWN. Make Meredith pregnant so she has a mental breakdown thinking she'll be a crappy a mother as her mother was. Make Derek have an affair with doe-eyed girl or let doe-eyed girl start a relentless anti-meredith campaign. ANYTHING, YAWN!

Also, am I the only one not happy with how they left Izzie? You would at least have wanted an EPIC fight between her and Karev or an epic fight between everybody, with everybody taking Karens side and vowing to never speak to Izzie again or something. I don't even remember Izzies last scene.

mpm918

The shooter is going to be the grieving husband that Derek had to face 2 episodes ago. He's going to be looking for Derek! that's my guess, anyway!!

lori

I want Alex to get a win but then he'll just be like annoying Meredith & Derrick. I don't think Alex & Lexi can work because their names are too similar and would make me annoyed to say "Alexandlexi". What? It's a valid reason.

I think the shooter will be the grieving husband also. I think he'll be coming for Derrick but will shoot Meredith (take HIS "wife" away from him). Didn't they show Meredith with a pregnancy test in the preview? Her getting shot will add some cliffhanger-y drama and put her back in the spotlight.

Also: I totally agree about Avery. That man is too hot to not be hooking up with someone on the show.




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