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Looper Director Wears Ironic Scarves. Don't Judge Him.

Rian-johnson-looper  Maybe you think there is a better idea for a movie than time-traveling assassins, but I'm here to tell you that you are so wrong. Like if wrongness was a sandwich, yours would be a peanut butter and shit sandwich. Looper is a film that will explore that time-travel premise.

Looper is being directed by Rian Johnson, who apart from having a hipster spelling of his first name and a tendency to wear ironic scarves, also directed Brick, which was a totally underrated film noir detective story set in a high school. Did I pronounce that "film new-wha" like a stuck up socialite in the middle of a fox hunt? That's for me to know and for you to find out, nosey. What I do on my fox hunts is my own concern. And by "fox hunt" I mean "looking for a second piece of bread that is less moldy so I can complete my bologna and pickle sandwich." 

The reason Looper is getting attention, apart from being about time-traveling assassins, is that now Bruce Willis is set to star in the project and that means maybe it will have a more commercial appeal. Actually, just being about time-traveling assassins is enough to make me be interested in anything. If you told me there was a chance time-traveling assassins would show up during a leprosy symposium, I might be tempted to swing by and see what's what. Time-traveling assassins are the spoon full of sugar that's makes the leprosy go down.

Also attached to the project is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who also appeared in Brick with Johnson and proved with 500 Days of Summer that he has some broad spectrum appeal if you like Hall and Oates-themed, song-and-dance numbers. Also, "appeared in Brick with Johnson" sounds unbelievably dirty for reasons I can't quite put my finger on. And the idea of putting my finger on something that is dirty, also seems dirty. So I guess my point is... yeah...I don't know either.

I'll use any excuse to post this dance number. I love it like it was a sale on chainsaws and I gave a shit about chainsaws.

The press release announcing Willis describes Looper as being darker in tone than The Brothers Bloom, Johnson's other, other directoral work. I don't even know what that means. The Brothers Bloom was a little dark, I guess. But not as dark as like, your Mom's thoughts when she sees a hundred dollar bill sticking out of some John's wallet on a Friday night. If they want to improve the lightness of the film, they could maybe make the time-traveling assassins be dinosaurs. That would be awesome. And kids love dinosaurs. Maybe they could make it a anthropomorphic dinosaur that talks in early-90s street slang. Like the person the dinosaur is supposed to kill could show up and the dino could be all "This da fool I'm supposed ta ice? Propa!" 

I'm so full of good ideas it hurts sometimes. 







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