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Why I Don't Love Beyonce

Beyonce-knowles-dereon-tshirt Beyonce Knowles, the uber-star of pretty much everything in this sublunar realm, stars in yet another feisty, playful, quick-cutting video for "Why Don't You Love Me".  It's got pretty much everything I want in a pop video: a girl shaking her rump, a wicked wah-wah guitar straight from a Rose Royce tune, and a voice that can break down the door on a bank vault.  So why don't I love Beyonce Knowles?

Ever since the release of I Am… Sasha Fierce, Beyonce’s attempted to rehabilitate her image with a racier, ballsier persona – never mind the fact that creating a persona in the first place insulates you from the implications of your actions.  The Lady Gaga team-ups in “Telephone” and “Video Phone” are another step down this path.  Welcome to a brand-new Beyonce?

Not quite.  Despite the playful sleaze of Why Don’t You Love Me, which lands somewhere between Hi-8 videos and ‘50s porn loops, there’s no real edge here.  It’s just Beyonce playing dress-up and pleading for someone’s love.  This seems like her solo take on “Telephone,” and while the results are titillating, the whole thing feels like another exercise in Hype Williams-style video making.

On top of the kind of peek-a-boo posturing that passes for feminist empowerment these days (I Am Woman, See My Shake My Ass), Beyonce looks increasingly race-free with every video.  She seems to be tracking the same path as Michael Jackson, passing along a gradient into whiteness even as she plays with ‘70s R&B.  Apparently showing your body is no longer considered offensive, but having a colour still risks shutting off a part of your market.

But then Solange Knowles goes and covers Dirty Projectors' "Stillness Is The Move," and then I truly get why I'm so resistant to Beyonce's many vocal and steatopygean charms:

Cheers to Solange for making an interesting song choice and pulling it off magnificently. That's what you do when you've got a fantastic voice. Bring on more Solange. Roll out the Badu.

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Washington "Spanx Me" Cube

Badu certainly covered the subject better in Tyrone.

One thing I can agree on with this video. My first car was an antique MG and they look great, but they have shit engines. My father and brother had to hoist the engine out four times to rebuild it, and it never did work properly without the universal joint falling into the road or something, but on the flip side? Leather seats, a wooden console and an ivory choke knob.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Well. The stylist on this shoot did their homework. Betty Page/Brazilian Beach bangs. The Roman centurion lamps with barrel shades. A wringer washing machine. Big gobby cocktail rings on every finger.

I have a riding crop. Now I can see it is far more useful to go around the house flogging myself while wearing rubber gloves and crawling on my knees. Thanks Beyonce! :D


Thanks for letting me know I am not the only one who doesn't like Beyonce. I can't pinpoint the exact reason except maybe how she left Destiny's Child in the dust, or that I think her voice is only so-so, her cheesy House of Dereon label, her shameless self-promotion (even in her songs), she & her husband having more $ than God, yet not hearing about their philanthropic efforts. Also, I think she enjoyed the whole Kanye/Taylor Swift ordeal a little too much.

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