pop culture gossip community about contact archives subscribe advertise fine print bmc

« Old Looney Tunes: Are They Really For Our Children? | Pop Culture Main | Kids Incorporated, K-I-D-S! [Where Are They Now?] »

Flashback Friday - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles  Today's flashback is brought to you by pizza-loving anthropomorphic turtles and Saturday morning cartoons.

I was not quite old or nerdy enough to read the Dark Horse comic book series that spawned a gigantic cartoon and merchandise franchise in the late 80s. However, unconcerned with which cartoons were "for girls" and which weren't, I was a devoted watcher of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when the series first began to air, spawning sales of action figures, video games, and even a cereal:


(As an aside, it seems that every cartoon franchise in the 80s had an associated cereal, and they were all relatively the same: bits of corn cereal shaped like something quasi-related to the show, with marshmallow bits in the shape of the characters.)


At recess, my best friend Sheela and I would play Ninja Turtles with two boys named Jamie and Tim. This was the sort of loose, role-playing type game where you re-enact episodes of the television show and make up your own adventures. The problem was, being a girl and blond, Jamie would usually insist that I had to be reporter April O'Neill, when I wanted to be the aggressive, sai-wielding Raphael. Why would I want to be a stupid girl who constantly needs saving by giant turtles when I could just be a giant turtle and kick ass myself? One day, having gotten particularly angry with Jamie over this, I learned that it hurts boys a lot when you kick them between the legs. I felt so bad I cried like a baby, which didn't much help my proto-feminist "I can be as bad-ass as you" cause.

Ahem. Anyway. 

The TMNT franchise was gargantuan, leading to, not one, not two, but three live action films, one of which subjected us to quite possibly the worst rap song in the history of rap—Vanilla Ice's "Ninja Rap." It's so bad that posting a video of it here would be an act of terrorism, so I've spared you. You're welcome.


In addition to the movies, there apparently was also a short-lived live-action TV series in 1997. By that point in time, my interests had evolved from mutated sewer-dwelling martial artists to pot smoking and piercings. Apparently, this particular reboot featured a fifth, female turtle named Venus de Milo who was skilled in the art of shinobi, which sounds pretty bad-ass. 

Speaking of TMNT reboots, upon relating to my boyfriend that I would be doing a Flashback Friday post about the cartoon, he jokingly wondered when Michael Bay would be rebooting the franchise so as to improve it with MOAR EXPLOSIONS. As it turns out, that shit is already happening. Michael Bay is slated to produce the reboot, coming to a theater near you in 2012. I swear, no 80s franchise is safe from Michael Bay. Watch out, Rainbow Brite—you're next.

« Old Looney Tunes: Are They Really For Our Children? | Pop Culture Main | Kids Incorporated, K-I-D-S! [Where Are They Now?] »



THREE live action films!

Mighty Hunter

"In a world devoid of color and real feeling,"

*cut to drap and dreary cityscape*

"One girl has the power to find that which is lost"

*cut to girl on rearing horse in front of explosion*

"Megan Fox is... RAINBOW BRITE.

"A Michael Bay Film. Coming Summer 2014. This film has not yet been rated."

Snarky Amber

@G.G.R. Right you are. Post corrected. :)


I watched those movies pretty much everyday when I was little. Man, I should download them.


"Venus de Milo"? That's bullshit. The boys get to be artists and the girl is named after the lady who stands there with missing arms. LAME.


oh amber! i can totally relate to the boys telling you to be april... when i was young i was the only girl in my little group of friends and i always had to be princess leia. dammit, they never let me be luke!

(unrelatedly, we would have sworn the song said was "I Love the Tiger." ahh, youth!)

ps am kinda old skool tmnt fan, check the name of my blog, yo.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Read the Comments Policy »

« Old Looney Tunes: Are They Really For Our Children? | Main | Kids Incorporated, K-I-D-S! [Where Are They Now?] »

Blog Widget by LinkWithin