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Kids Incorporated, K-I-D-S! [Where Are They Now?]

Kids-incorporated-logoAdmit it: you watched Kids Incorporated. And you sang and danced with them, emulated their hairstyles and perfect smiles and dance moves.  

What ever happened to these post-Dickensian band of street urchins, what with their dirty faces and buckled shoes?  

 Kids Incorporated was an American children's teevee "sitcom" show in which a group of children would endure life's toned-down scripted tragedies and break into song, kind of like Cop Rock, but marginally less crime.  Of course I was but a seed in my degenerate bio-dad's kiwi to catch the early years (read: that's a lie), but the show was produced from 1984 to 1993.  The characters in Kids Incorporated ranged in ages between approximately 8 years old to mid-teens and they left the show when they "aged out" of their roles.  In the beginning their departures were written into the script, but in the later years the kids just disappeared without warning, which I suppose for some children was confusing and unfair.  Perhaps this was the first lesson these children would learn about the brutality of life and that nothing is fair and everyone always leaves you in the end for something better. 

Positivity!  The more you know and shit.

The full list of characters who starred on Kids Incorporated follows, but I'll only trace the evolution of some of the most popular members of the band of nefarious milkshake shop band of children in aggressively printed clothing.  These kids were the original Crips, man.  They were mean, holding up banks and Gymboree stores across the nation, just for kicks.  And, ho, did they ever kick!  They kicked and danced and squawked and warbled, like little mean birds, pecking out the eyes of anyone in sight and then, when finished, taking a big, birdlike crap on their victims.  And their cars.

But I digress.

The cast included (those in bold are profiled in detail below):

  • Eric Balfour (1991)
  • Charlie Brady (1993)
  • Nicole Brown (1992–1993)
  • Dena Burton (1993)
  • Jared Delgin (1992)
  • Moosie Drier (1984–1988)
  • Mario Lopez (1984–1986)
  • Stacy Ferguson (1984–1989)
  • Kenny Ford (1988–1992)
  • Anthony Harrell (1993)
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt (1989–1991)
  • Anastasia Horne (1991–1993)
  • Haylie Johnson (1991–1993)
  • Ryan Lambert (1985–1988)
  • Connie Lew (1987–1988)
  • Marta "Martika" Marrero (1984–1986)
  • Rahsaan Patterson (1984–1987)
  • Devyn Puett (1988–1989)
  • Renee Sands (1984–1987)
  • Jerry Sharell (1984)
  • Richard Shoff (1987–1989)
Recognize anyone?  Let's have a look at and listen to the original theme song to get us in the mood, shall we?

Stacy Ferguson (1984–1989): We all know her as "Fergie" from the Black Eyed Peas, a former meth Stacy-Ferguson-Fergie-Kids-Incorporatedaddict who found fame with the Peas and in her solo career as "the Dutchess."  She grinds around in silver underpants, pisses herself with some regularity whilst drinking heavily, sometimes on stage.  She married Josh Duhamel in January 2009, but previously dated Justin Timberlake prior to 2001. She is sometimes referred to as having a face of a gremlin, due to all the alleged plastic surgery. 

In her early years, she studied dance and began to do voice-over work, providing the voice for Sally in two made-for-television Peanuts cartoons, (It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown, 1984, and Snoopy's Getting Married, Charlie Brown, 1985) as well as on four episodes of The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show. From 1984 to 1989, she starred on the TV show Kids Incorporated. All that time, she was a cheerleader, straight-A student and a spelling bee champion, as well as a Girl Scout.

In April 2007, she gave an interview in which she admitted that she went on a sex and drugs spree when she turned eighteen and has admitted to heavy meth use. Ferguson has stated in several interviews that she is an avid user of hypnotherapy, which she used to overcome her crystal meth addiction and to relax.

Jennifer-Love-Hewitt-Kids-IncorporatedJennifer Love Hewitt (1989–1991): Yeah, screw it.  Nevermind.  Nobody cares.  We know all we need to know about Ms. Hewitt and her boyfriends and pear ass and unrelenting love for tabloid exposure.  

I do have one thing to say, however, regarding JLH's love life: Jennifer, you should have stuck with Carson Daly.  Jamie Kennedy?  He's bloated and sweaty!  I would rather caulk my eyes shut than look at that man's naked body.


Marta "Martika" Marrero (1984–1986): Martika entered show business in an uncredited role as one of the orphan girls in the 1982 motion picture Annie. This led to her being cast as Gloria in Kids Incorporated. Martika and many fellow Kids Incorporated cast members were featured in the musical numbers from the Mr. T motivational video Be Somebody... or Be Somebody's Fool! in 1984.

Following her role in Kids Incorporated and Be Somebody, Martika was signed by CBS Records as a potential Madonna-like pop star.  Yeah, so that didn't work out so well.  A few of her tracks did well, though, most notably "Toy Soldier," a sample of which was used by Eminem in 2004.  

In 2009, she announced that she would be using the stage name "Vida Edit" and will star in the new web-based television action program J8ded, as Lolly Pop. 

That should work out well.


Eric Balfour (1991): Balfour was only on the show one year and has continued to work as a singer and actor of TV and film.  He is the lead singer of the band Born As Ghosts if your interest reaches that far. After Kids Incorporatedhe appeared in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek, the O.C., and a dancer in the music video for the song "Fergalicious" by fellow Kids Incorporated alumna Fergie. He also appeared as a regular cast member in three short-lived TV shows nobody watched or remembers. In 2005, Balfour starred in the sexually explicit drama (meow!) Lie with Me, and in March 2006 he debuted in the short-lived NBC crime drama, Conviction, which lasted one season.  He also appeared in the first season of 24 and again for 19 episodes in 24's sixth season but left the show on his own accord.  He also appeared on the awesome HBO show Six Feet Under as Claire's troubled boyfriend, Gabriel Dimas, during most of the show's first season.

He starred in the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre opposite Jessica Biel and was very, very sexy. 

Most recently Balfour appeared in ABC's Life on Mars.  He appeared on Monk and booked a recurring role on the CW show The Beautiful Life, which nobody watched and was canceled on its second show.  In 2010, he appeared in the Strause brothers thriller film Skyline.

He is the face for the new Valentino male fragrance, Valentino V and he remains very sexy.

. . .

Anastacia Campbell is wearing neon leggings and a "Relax" t-shirt and can be found kicking and dancing with children at the local malt (liquor) shop, her blog or on the Twitter.  

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Lie With Me was a hot, hot moveh.


Can't stand the guy, and don't even remember him on the show, but wasn't Mario Lopez the drummer?


I am very curious about what happened to Ryan Lambert... he was dreeeeammmmmy


I agree with Larissa. I must've watched it when Ryan was on... I remember Stacey being s stuck up little brat, and someone played a character named Jennifer. I always liked Jennifer better.

Katie L.

I looooved the show, and the song Toy Soldiers. I was 11, don't judge me.

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