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Middle Men Looks Awesome. Porny.

Middle-Men  Maybe you live in a world where a movie like Middle Men, a fictionalized account of the guy who discovered how to charge for porn on the internet, is not completely interesting. But Sir/Madam, I don't want to live in that world. I believe in truth, justice, and looking at threesomes for a reasonable monthly cost. Without brave patriots like Christopher Malick, where would we be. Where. Would we. Be?

Probably playing two-hand touch with our junk a lot less, is where. 

Middle Men is set in 1995 and features a lot of annoying stuff about that time period that I forgot about because I was too busy not living up to my potential to pay attention. It shows how two bozos figured out that men like to look at boobies and then met with a third guy who realized they would pay to look at them. Wow. That's quite a stretch. Because before 1995 there were no Playboy©s or Penthouse©s or even naked vaginas anywhere. We were like the land of Quakers, all fighting to be free of our metaphoric buttons and longing for the smooth zipper of sexual freedom. I mean...porn was out there. All they had to do was figure out that it would be cost effective to put it on an anonymous media that had no body governing it and no laws restricting it. It was like a guy with Type-2 diabetes holding a fork and sitting in front of 1000 cakes. The proverbial "coma" wasn't that hard to figure out.

But the movie, Middle Men features a bunch of actors I really like and Kelsey Grammar, so it should be pretty good. Plus it's got that Goodfellas type of nostalgia where everyone is doing weird excessive shit because they could, and there's too many weapons for things to end well and the soundtrack is period-correct and there is some slow-motion walking to really drive home the point that they are cocky and successful. I walk around my neighborhood all the time pretending I'm in slow motion. That's why the neighbors all run inside when they see me coming. Mad respect, yo.

One of the best thing about this movie is that it was written and directed by George Gallo, who also wrote Midnight Run which is the only movie that ever endeared Charles Grodin to me. Giovanni Ribisi, James Caan, Gabriel Macht, and Luke Wilson are the primary stars in the film and Giovanni Ribisi usually kicks ass and James Caan always does...yes, even in Elf...and I'm not going to make any stupid AT&T fat jokes about Like Wilson, because what am I? Some kind of hack journalist? (*adjusts monocle, straightens top-hat*)

Here's the trailer, look for Middle Men to come out some time after today. I could look it up, but let's just play detectives instead:








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Comments

Jen O.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. People PAY for internet porn? Pfft...suckers.

jillian

Aw man, for a minute there I thought this might be a movie version of the comic and awesome short-lived TV show "Middleman". Sadly, no. This one looks cool too, though, I guess. sigh.

funda62

This looks awesome.

Bekki

Soul Coughing in the trailer. I'm sold.




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