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The Jersey Shore's, "The Situation", Raps. The World Weeps.

Mike-the-situation Everybody slowly get up from your seats. Do not panic. Form a single file line and head for the exit. Please remain calm. Women and children first. This is essential for our survival. 

And then it happened. Someone or something pushed the "play" button. Life as we know it will never be the same. No more playing nice. No more calm. Mass hysteria has set in. People are living in makeshift shanty towns. There are constant fights and wars for basic necessities. Children are starving. We haven't seen the sun in months. Total nuclear fallout.

Have I got your attention? Am I being a bit melodramatic? Maybe. But the aforementioned scenario is not only a possibility, but and unavoidable reality. Well, that is, unless we act now. We have the power to stop this. One by one, we need to unite. Join hands. Sing Kumbaya. Hug each other.

I bet you are wondering what the hell I am talking about. "This guy is definitely insane", you utter softly. Well, be damned my insanity. Brace yourself. Shit is about to get real. Micheal "The Situation" Sorrentino from The Jersey Shore "fame" has released a rap song. Yes. You read that correctly. A. Rap. Song. Take a minute. Let it soak in. Now exhale. You feel that? Yep, it's called panic. Your brain does not know how to handle this. You may need a cigarette. You may need some heavy psychotropics.

We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day! OK, I totally just ripped off the movie Independence Day. I am fresh out of motivational speeches. However, it totally echos my sentiments. We need to stand up for ourselves. We need to protect what is good. I urge you not to listen. It will be hard. Curiosity will get the best of some of us. You have been warned. Remember, it's for the children!

Whatever you do. Do not click on this video. What? You already did? Have mercy on our souls.


. . . . .
TJ spends his free time writing lyrics for white rappers.






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Comments

Paige

Thanks. Now my ears are bleeding.




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