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Tom Cruise And Cameron Diaz Team Up In Tango And Cash 2

Tom-cruise So I asked some people on twitter why I don't like Tom Cruise, because I just can't put my finger on it.

Fortunately, several people were able to put their fingers on it and helped me figure out what it is. And then I started thinking when it was that I stopped liking him, and that's when I made an amazing discovery: I never really did.

He was annoying in Risky Business and out-acted by Bronson Pinchot. (Go back and read that again, it's a powerful statement.) In the Outsiders? Annooooooyyyyying. TAPS? Jerk. Jerry Maguire? Jerk, then wussy. Mission Impossible series? Ego-maniacal laws of physics disobeyer, and the first two of these films were beyond shit. The third one was okay, but only because Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Laurence Fishburne and Billy Crudup brought it. 

So now, Cruise and Diaz are partners in an upbeat action/adventure film, and I have to say, it looks truly horrible.




(I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm not sure how you get those IQ points back. I think they're gone forever.)

I took my girlfriend, her son and his friend to a movie a couple of weeks ago.  By the time we sat down to watch the movie, I had spent $60.00. On a matinee. The only way I'd spend $60.00 on this is if I got to sit next to Tom and punch him every time something stupid happened.

Dear Tom and Cam,

You are not Brangelina nor are you Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You're Tomron, or Com. That sounds horrible. You should have tried to splice your names before doing a movie together. It's destined to fail. You'll see. Watch. I'll even tell people to go see it.

Woo hoo! Cruise and Diaz together? Whoa! In one spectacular film? GET. OUT. Finally!

I did my part. You can't say I didn't try.

Love,

Mayo

 

The movie is called "Knight and Day" and the name alone makes me want to vomit everything I've ever eaten. It comes out in July. Until then, you can watch this. That's what I'm going to do.

 



MayoPie thinks he's humorous, but we all know better.







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Comments

JenGid

I will gladly pay 60 bucks for the chance to watch you pay 60 bucks to punch Tom. Although, Jen O. did have a great post about Les Grossman, and I did laugh. Is it possible for me to like Les and not Tom? Will I be able to sleep tonight?

Apryl's Antics

I don't like him, either, but I think it's because when I finally saw him in an interview (not with Oprah), his laugh made me want to chew off my limbs.

I like "Minority Report", though it is similar to my tolerance for Keanu Reeves in "The Matrix". The movie is so cool, a cardboard cutout of either actor would have worked just as well. In Keanu's case it might have actually been one.

Marilyn

I loved Tom Cruise when I was in Grade 8. I loved him so much I had a poster of his head that was BIGGER than my bed hanging from the ceiling. So I want to still at least like him. But his crazy couch-jumping and big teethed grins and wack-a-doo laying on of hands Scientology stuff kind of ruined him for me.

funda62

I think it was entire rant against psychology and postpartum depression that was the tipping point for me. I will not pay to see his movies and avoid them if they come on television.

Jen O.

@JenGid - you can definitely like Les and hate Tom. I do. It's confusing, but totes possible.

Kimm

Come on. Top Gun. The first movie I saw him in. I liked him for that, but not at all after. That was a good movie though. Take my breath away!

MayoPie

He's been in some great movies, for sure. But even in Top Gun, his character was pretty arrogant. I agree, though, Great movie.


 

heidi

i can put my finger on it: he has one tooth in the middle of his face. he is big time asymmetrical.

ask google if you don't believe me.

BaltimoreGal

You can like Top Gun because of Anthony Edwards! At least I did.
Of course, once he died, I was done. Tuned out the rest of the movie. What happened?




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