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Balls Archive


June 10, 2010

Party Down South, Y'all

Party-down-south-promo  Do you enjoy the incisive cultural commentary of Jersey Shore and the antics of its human stereotypes slash cast members? Raise your glass to a little bit of chicken fried? Then country women and men, though art loosed -- Party Down South may be for you. 

That's what she said. 

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June 07, 2010

$#*! My Dad Says Trailer May Ease Some Fears

Shit-my-dad-says$#*! My Dad Says, which is apparently pronounced "Bleep My Dad Says," the sitcom based on the wildly popular and hilarious Twitter account (typing that sentence still makes my brain hurt) is slated to premier this fall. Fans of the Twitter account are still uneasy about the network TV adaptation, but perhaps the recently released trailer will put their minds at ease a little.

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May 31, 2010

Frat Party Is a Thing to Behold

Frat-party-movieSo, I know that I wrote awhile back that I had discovered the worst movie ever made in New York City Serenade, but I'm going to have to recant that claim for a new and obvious successor: Frat Party.

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May 24, 2010

Bret Easton Ellis Doesn't Think Too Highly of Female Directors

Bret-easton-ellis Perhaps I'm just getting bitter and/or more nonchalant in my old age, but when Bret Easton Ellis says stuff like he doesn't think, in general, that women can direct, I don't get angry. I just kind of shrug and tell him to quit talking and go write some messed up book for me to read kthanxbi.

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May 13, 2010

Facebook Group Pushes For Gay TV Couple To Kiss On ABC's 'Modern Family'

Modern-family Men kissing? Each other? On Television? What?! This can't be! It's the end, I tell you. The next thing you know, our male senators will be soliciting blow jobs in airport restrooms.

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May 12, 2010

If My Parents Named Me Guerdwich Montimere, I'd Be an Imposter, Too, If It Meant I Could Have a New Name

Guerdwich-montimere I loves me a good imposter story: Guerdwich Montimere, a 22-year-old former basketball player at Fort Lauderdale's Dillard High School was also, until recently, a 16-year-old high school basketball player named Jerry Joseph at Permian High School in Odessa, Texas.

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May 10, 2010

Louis CK to Star in New Series on FX!

Louis-ck Awesome and foul-mouthed comedian Louis CK, who I once frightened by telling him that he was the male version of me*, will be starring in a new series, Louie, on FX starting June 29.

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May 04, 2010

Syfy Informs Us that WWE Is "Imagination-Based Sports Entertainment"

Wwe-wrestling About a year ago, the Sci Fi network took a dramatic step toward their rebranding and changed their name to Syfy. Because apparently the key to success is 1) spell things phonetically thereby removing all meaning 2) alienate your already alienated audience base 3) ... 4) PROFIT/DINOSHARK!

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April 30, 2010

First Meow-Worthy Soundbites From Conan's 60 Minutes Interview

Jay Leno Conan O'Brien The Tonight Show 2003  I was super-jazzed to hear about Conan's return to television, even if it was on 60 Minutes. I only watch 60 Minutes when a sporting event preempts Amazing Race and my TiVo records 20 minutes of Andy Rooney ranting about staplers or God knows what, leading to me fumbling frantically with the remote to extrend the recording time while boggling over the fact that Andy Rooney is still on 60 Minutes, and looks exactly like he did when my dad watched 60 Minutes. (Back in 1984. Before it got too "liberal" for his tastes.)

ANYWAY.

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April 27, 2010

M.I.A. Releases Graphic, Explicit 'Born Free' Video (NSFW)

MIA MIA released her new video for 'Born Free' on her website Monday and typical for the wonderfully unconventional artist, this video is in-your-face politics.  On the political nature of her work she has said, "I have to be true to that--I can't take certain things away. I do have a political background. I’m only in England, learning this language and building a life in this society, because of political reasons. Why would I deny that?" M.I.A. has also talked at length about the fusion of politics into her music. "Nobody wants to be dancing to political songs. Every bit of music out there that’s making it into the mainstream is really about nothing. I wanted to see if I could write songs about something important and make it sound like nothing. And it kind of worked."

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April 14, 2010

Sigourney Weaver, My Breasts And I Have A Bone To Pick With You

Sigourney-weaver  Copy this one down for the WTF files. Sigourney Weaver has not only betrayed the sisterhood of women in film, who have been sorely underrepresented since the medium was invented, but has lauded and sung the praises of one Mr. James "I'm A Douche" Cameron IN PLACE OF standing up for her fellow woman. I cannot believe I am even reporting this.

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April 12, 2010

The Insane Clown Posse Ponders Some Science and S#*t

Insane-clown-posse In September 2009, the Insane Clown Posse released their eleventh studio album, entitled Bang! Pow! Boom! Recently, they released a music video for the single "Miracles." And, folks, it's EPIC.

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March 25, 2010

Birdemic: My New Cause

Birdemic I opened the New York Times site today and glanced at the headlines. Depressing. So I navigated my way to the Arts section to see if I could find something to write about today. And then, just like that, Birdemic: Shock and Terror entered my life.

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March 18, 2010

I Saw the Worst Movie Ever and Lived to Tell About It

New_york_city_serenade Late Wednesday night, I tweeted, "I have just watched the worst movie ever. The search is over. Holy crap." Within seconds, thousands (okay, eight) people @-replied me, dying to know what perversion of film I was referring to. I told them. And now I'll tell you, lest ye find yourselves in the bowels of your cable package.

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March 15, 2010

National Geographic Gives the Lowly Sperm Its Due

Sizing_up_sperm1 We all know a highly fertile couple or two. You know, the folks who spout such lovely gems as, "I get pregnant if my husband looks at me." Funny, perhaps obnoxious, but obviously a gross exaggeration. National Geographic has set out to break down just how big of a chance it is to successfully conceive with their new special, Sizing Up Sperm.

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