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Bling Archive

June 18, 2010

Silly Bandz Bans?

Silly-bandz  Did you know that Silly Bandz were a thing? Because I've been wearing them in my hair for a couple of months now and I had no idea.  

Of course you did, didn't you? 

Is a five-year old going to cut me for my pig? 

That sounds all kinds of wrong. 


June 17, 2010

Top Ten Reasons Why I Should Be MTV'S New Twitter Jockey (or as Many as I Can Think of Until I Run Out.)

Mtv-original-vjs Do you want to be the modern day, virtual equivalent of Martha Quinn? 

Do you know who Martha Quinn is? 

Never mind. Proving that it is solidly on the social media tip, MTV is holding a competition to choose a Twitter Jockey - a TJ, if you will. 


May 27, 2010

And The Funniest Person Alive Is...Tina Fey!

Tina-Fey If you thought the crown should go to Betty White, what with all the Betty White love-o-palooza happening these days, you'd be wrong.  Tina Fey, ladies and gentlemen.  Tina Fey.  Yeah, suck it, nerds.


May 14, 2010

Lil Wayne "Stomps" the "Yard" in Prison, Producers Scramble to Create "Stomp the Yard IV - Lil Wayne: SO MANY YARDS LEFT FOR STOMPING." Related News: Possible Dysentery.

Lil-Wayne-AP-Photo Lil Wayne, who began serving a year long gun charge in New York's Rikers Island jail complex in March, has gotten himself into trouble again.  Seems there's one fight he won't stop fighting, no matter how much trouble befalls our music star.


March 15, 2010

Adam Lambert Performs In Toyko, Is Freaking Me Out A Bit

Adam_lambert_tokyo2-sm  I need some help coming up with a description of this outfit that does it justice...


February 12, 2010

Lady Gaga at amFAR New York Gala

Lady_gaga_cyndi_lauper_mac_viva_glam_1209  This week Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper helped launch this year's Viva Glam MAC shades at the amFAR/MAC Gala. However, her hot-pink Viva Glam lipstick was not the only adornment on her face:


February 09, 2010

Madonna's Louis Vuitton Ads: 'Shopped All To Heck

Madonna_photoshoppedI guess it's not terribly surprising that those behind Louis Vuitton's Fall ad campaign featuring Madonna chose to apply photoshop liberally to these images. See why after the jump.


October 28, 2009

Please Don't Let Grau Wal Hair Jewelry Be the Next Big Thing

Christian_bale_american_psycho Certain fashion trends need to die. The return of popped collars? Horribly reminiscent of American Psycho era high society serial killers. Tissue paper thin jersey anything? Guaranteed to make anyone look lumpy and dowdy. Really long and pointy toes on shoes? If freakishly long and misshapen feet are your thing, all the power to you.

Some fashion trends, though, should never be born...


September 03, 2009

I Think The Twilight Phenomenon May Be Approaching Maximum Ridiculosity

Twilight_edward_bella_lunchbox I know, this is sort of like the National Weather Service issuing a tornado warning when you're halfway to Oz. Nevertheless, the number of people and manufacturers crawling out of the woodwork to grab a piece of the Twilight-related merchandise pie has reached a critical mass. If you don't believe that it's worse than any other popular film, maybe you should take a look at some of this crap.


July 30, 2009

Michael Jackson's Hair to be Turned into Diamonds

Michael_jackson_pepsi Because seriously, did you expect a saner conclusion to the man's life? 

LifeGem, the company that makes treasurable diamonds from dead people is going to make a limited edition diamond from the singed locks of Michael Jackson's hair. 
"Our plan is to give people an opportunity to own a diamond made from Michael Jackson's DNA," said Dean VandenBiesen, founder of LifeGem. 



July 22, 2009

Ice Skater Brian Boitano to Host Cooking Show, Thus Making the Lord's Creation Complete

Boitano Many years ago, some hopeful young lads from the town of South Park asked themselves, "What would Brian Boitano do?" Based on his experiences in the 1988 Winter Olympics, fighting grizzly bears with his fire breath, fighting the evil robot kings of the future, and building the Great Pyramids of Egypt and defeating Kublai Khan in the process, Brian Boitano rose to prominence as a wise sage and prophet, just like Jesus and those other dudes.
Now he turns his powers to the insurmountable challenge of....PAELLA! AUUGGHHHH!!!!!


July 16, 2009

Bloom Bling Burgled

Orlando_Bloom Sorry, but when the opportunity to do an awesomely ridiculous alliterative headline à la Page Six arises, you gotta carpe the diem, know what I'm saying? But, you guys, it is totally not funny that Orlando Bloom's Hollywood Hills home was robbed of over $500K worth of jewelry, so you just stop your giggling. This is serious business.

I am probably not the first to do so, but I would like to implicate Lindsay Lohan in this case, because if something in Hollywood goes missing, there's like a 60% chance that Lindsay thought you said she could have it one time and then pocketed it when you went to the bathroom.


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