MamaPop™

Bret Easton Ellis Doesn't Think Too Highly of Female Directors

Perhaps I'm just getting bitter and/or more nonchalant in my old age, but when Bret Easton Ellis says stuff like he doesn't think, in general, that women can direct, I don't get angry. I just kind of shrug and tell him to quit talking and go write some messed up book for me to read kthanxbi.

If My Parents Named Me Guerdwich Montimere, I'd Be an Imposter, Too, If It Meant I Could Have a New Name

I loves me a good imposter story: Guerdwich Montimere, a 22-year-old former basketball player at Fort Lauderdale's Dillard High School was also, until recently, a 16-year-old high school basketball player named Jerry Joseph at Permian High School in Odessa, Texas.

FOX and ABC Still Hate Plus-Sized People

FOX and ABC got caught being prejudiced again. The last time I wrote about them it was about how they wouldn't run a gay dating commercial. This time, ABC refused to air a Lane Bryant commercial because it showed too much cleavage.

(commercial after the jump)

Tito Ortiz Arrested For Assaulting Girlfriend, Needs To Look For A New Job

Mixed martial artist Tito Ortiz was arrested Monday after allegedly abusing his retired adult film star girlfriend, Jenna Jameson, in their Huntington Beach, California, home.

This could spell major trouble for the disgruntled gorilla's future in the UFC.

Police: Photographic Evidence That Lindsay Lohan Stole Rolex

I started feeling bad about the hell I've been giving Lindsay Lohan. I've been raking her through the coals and I started to believe I was being a little unfair, so I decided to give her a break. Then she had to go and make me not feel guilty again. It seems that in addition to alcohol and drugs, she might also be addicted to fine, Swiss craftsmanship and perpetual movement.

Larry King and Shawn Southwick Don't Have a Prenup: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If the title hadn't indicated it, I'm somewhat pleased to hear this news. It seems when Larry hit his 8th wife (I use this term both literally and figuratively), he'd decided she would be the last in the long list of women whose doorsteps would be darkened by the most overrated television personality in history.  I guess he hadn't considered that there would soon be tremendous breakthroughs in erection technology and that he would want to have sex with his wife's sister all of the time.

Has Larry King Been Having An Affair With His Wife's Sister For the Last Five Years?

I can't decide whether to throw up or throw up a lot. I'm going to do both just to make sure. Tiger Woods, Jesse James, now... Larry King? And with his wife's sister? The question on the tip of everyone's tongue is, will Jerry Springer come to CNN Studios or will Larry have to go to Springer's set? So confusing. Either way, some guy named "Ice Trey" and his wives/cousins are going to be very upset when their story gets bumped for the King saga.

Jesse James Makes Citizen's Arrest While Being Arrested By Citizen He Was Arresting

When I wrote my post about Jesse James' 2nd and 3rd mistresses the other night, I made a promise to myself I wouldn't write anything more about Jesse James. But when I found out he tried to arrest a photographer yesterday outside of West Coast Choppers, I had to sit myself down and have a long talk with myself about making promises I couldn't keep and not believing everything I tell myself. I can't believe I both lied to myself and believed myself again. I'm such a gullible liar.

 

Filed Under Not News: Sandra Bullock and Jesse James NOT Looking For Divorce Lawyers

*UPDATED*

Contrary to internet rumors, Jesse James and Sandra Bullock are not talking to divorce lawyers.  Even though she should be.  Not just based on the fact he cheated on her, but based on the person he cheated with.  Wowsers.  Did I just actually say wowsers?  Next I'm going to be saying neato.    

Jesse James Alleged Mistress #2: She's A Feisty One (Updated: now including Mistress #3)

Just when you thought you couldn't get more sick of hearing about Jesse James, we have now entered the portion of our program where we climb down the rabbit hole and see exactly how deep the Vanilla Gorilla goes.  As Tiger Woods has taught us, where there's a "Bombshell", there's likely fire.

Tiger Woods To Talk Friday: I Wonder If He'll Mention that Sex Thing

First let me say, I was a Tiger fan.  I was at the '97 Masters when he rolled to a record-breaking victory. I even got to high-five him. I'm sure he remembers it.  It happened during the day preceding the tournament, so it's possible I gave him the lucky edge he needed. It was really our victory. That's why I say to my partner with all respect in the world, shut the fuck up, Tiger. I don't care.

VIDEO: Gary Coleman Pulls a Jerry Springer on Inside Edition

Two years ago when Gary Coleman secretly married then 22 year old Shannon Price, both he and his wife admitted they explode during arguments and get physically violent with each other. Now it's worse.  Much worse - and his anger has been caught on video.

Did Evander Holyfield Hit His Wife?

All domestic violence is terrible. All of it. So why am I always more offended when a boxer is charged with hitting his spouse?

Oh, right. Because they are trained fighters. They punch other large men for a living.

This is why I am mortified that Evander Holyfield's wife has filed a protective order against him.

Mel Gibson Calls Reporter A-hole: Irony Enthusiasts Rejoice

Yay for me!  You know why?  Because I've been giving Mel a hard time and now we all know why:  He's a gargantuan asshole.  A gargantuan, jew-hating asshole. You.  Mel Gibson. You're the asshole, asshole.  And it didn't take you long to prove it.  I knew you'd come through for me.  At some point, I knew your assholeishness would burst out of your stupid face and cry "FREEEEDOOOM!"

American Idol Recap - The Austin Paul D-Bag Award

Welcome to American Idol recap. This week, American Idol took us to Denver and ended with a look at the Road to Hollywood. It also brought a new face for returning guest judge, Victoria Beckham and one of the greatest douchebags to ever audition for the show.  Without any further ado... THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL! recap.