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Fail Archive


May 19, 2010

Roman Polanski Is Accused of More Child Sexual Abuse; Woody Allen Continues to Defend Him

Woody-allen Amid new allegations that rapist Roman Polanski sexually abused another teenage girl, Woody Allen leaps to his defence with the words "[he is] an artist and is a nice person."

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May 18, 2010

Parenting Lindsay Lohan [Celebrity Kids Gone Bad]

Lindsay-Lohan-Rolex-Thief Hey, it's Tuesday!  Guess what time it is?  That's right, it's that time for a series I just made up in my head: Celebrity Kids Gone Bad, wherein we play the hypothetical game.

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and BAM!  You're suddenly Lindsay Lohan's parent?

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May 17, 2010

I See Promises, Promises and Decide the Newsweek Writer is an Idiot

Sean_Hayes Last week newspapers, television, and pop culture at large was all up in arms over Ramin Setoodeh's opinion that openly gay Sean Hayes should not be playing a straight man in the new Broadway musical Promises, Promises. I saw the show this weekend. He's wrong.

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Christian Anti-Kissing Video Goes Viral, Causes Chills and Cramps

Pamelas-prayer

Want to see something creepy? Like maybe this clip from a Christian abstinence "education" video about waiting until you're married...to kiss?

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May 13, 2010

iPhone Advertisement Hurt My Feelings

Iphone-chicken  I love my iPhone unapologetically. I literally take it to bed with me. I read books on it before I go to sleep. That being said, the current iPhone ad really pisses me off.

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May 12, 2010

If My Parents Named Me Guerdwich Montimere, I'd Be an Imposter, Too, If It Meant I Could Have a New Name

Guerdwich-montimere I loves me a good imposter story: Guerdwich Montimere, a 22-year-old former basketball player at Fort Lauderdale's Dillard High School was also, until recently, a 16-year-old high school basketball player named Jerry Joseph at Permian High School in Odessa, Texas.

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May 09, 2010

Miley Cyrus' "Can't Be Tamed": A Boon For Creepy Old Men Everywhere

Miley-cyrus-cant-be-tamed2 Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow Moms out there! Hope you have an amazing day! 

That said, I have some bad news for y'all...

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May 07, 2010

For $16,000 You Can Look Like Jessica Rabbit - Sort Of

Annette-jessica_rabbit_makeover Annette Edwards has always loved Jessica Rabbit. Okay, maybe not always, but certainly since 1988.

What do you do when you adore and admire a cartoon character? Get a tattoo? Buy an original drawing? Oh, hell no. That is weak. You get plastic surgery to look like her. Duh.

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May 05, 2010

A Double Serving of Serving Done Right!

PattonoswaltPlagiarism is infuriating, especially for writers who spend hour upon hour honing each word, each sentence, to fit just so.  It makes sense, but it turns out it's equally as infuriating for comedians who have been plagiarized, as the recent Patton Oswalt incident illustrates.  And because Oswalt is a comedian and hilarious even when he's not on stage, he calls out his hacker publicly and with a lesson to the young plagiarist: if you're not funny to begin with, stealing won't help.

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May 04, 2010

Syfy Informs Us that WWE Is "Imagination-Based Sports Entertainment"

Wwe-wrestling About a year ago, the Sci Fi network took a dramatic step toward their rebranding and changed their name to Syfy. Because apparently the key to success is 1) spell things phonetically thereby removing all meaning 2) alienate your already alienated audience base 3) ... 4) PROFIT/DINOSHARK!

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April 29, 2010

FOX and ABC Still Hate Plus-Sized People

Lane-bryant-ashley-graham-bra-ad-underwear-lingerieFOX and ABC got caught being prejudiced again. The last time I wrote about them it was about how they wouldn't run a gay dating commercial. This time, ABC refused to air a Lane Bryant commercial because it showed too much cleavage.

(commercial after the jump)

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Upcoming 3D Movies I Might Pass On

3d-audience My family and I go to the movies a fair amount, usually at least once a month. And I'm one of those people who actually likes the 20 minutes of trailers that play before the movie. I like seeing what's going to be coming out so that I can say, "Ohh, that looks good, we'll have to see that," or mercilessly snark on it, a la Mystery Science Theater 3000.

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April 22, 2010

Consider Pants, Pamela Anderson!

Pamela-anderson-close-up
 Celebrities have a lot on their minds. Even with their PAs and entourages there to help them, sometimes they can end up leaving the house looking less than put together. Sometimes? They forget their pants. It appears Pamela Anderson is having one of those days:

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April 21, 2010

Katy Perry Wearing Toddler Couture

Katy-PerryThis is actually kind of cute!  I might go get a matching pair for my two little girls.  I didn't know they made clothes like these in grown-up sizes.  You learn something new every day. 

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April 19, 2010

Bob Dylan Is Still A Communist Threat But The Beatles Are No Longer A Hassle For Jesus

Bob-dylan black and white bernard ratzinger Bob Dylan is such a badass that China still fears him. However, in other 60s counterculture news, the Vatican finally made peace with the Beatles. "With all these pedophiles running around in vestments, who's got time to worry about the Beatles?" asked the Pope. Not really. But burn, man - I just burned the Pope hard.

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