You guys. This is it. This is our big chance. Last night, DinoShark appeared before me, awash in heavenly light, and said, "Raaaahhh!" And because I operate on a higher plane of existence, one where DinoShark and I dish, I knew that that meant, "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their made-for-TV cinema!"
Entries were trickling in until the late hours of Wednesday night. Well, not so much "trickling in" as "blasting in with the crippling force of a fire hose". And so the time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things. Like shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. But mostly to announce the winners, of course.
Random Number Generator had PLENTY of entries to choose from, so let's see what it came up with...
Because every movie concept that could ever possibly exist has apparently already been imagined and fully- realized, every fucking week another studio announces another inevitably-terrible, uncalled-for remake. This week's impending-bastardization announcement comes courtesy of the creative geniuses at The Mark Gordon Company, who are reportedly looking for writers for a Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead remake.
There is this French actress, see? And I saw a picture of her sometime this last week in which she was looking so freaking cool and like I should completely fall in love with her in a totally devoted but non-creepy way.
Shut up. I'm not creepy.
And so I asked Who is that woman?, and I was told that it was none other than Delphine Chanéac from the movie Splice, and so I decided to devote today to her beautiful visage, because it is important to have beautiful things to look at.
Movie remakes are a tricky thing. Good intentions may be behind all of them, to recreate something classic as an homage to the original, but often egos and misguided artistic visions pervert things along the way.
For now, we are safe from the scourge of a Friends movie. But Courteney Cox has tentatively expressed to the Los Angeles Times her desire to see it happen. Now that the idea is out there, floating in the universe, there's really no reason to think that it's impossible.
Want to win a copy? Yeah, you do.
Maybe you don't think the greatest thing the Internet ever birthed from its syphilis-riddled loins was the "Winnebago Man" clip on YouTube. Well you're a fool then. And also wrong.
With Toy Story 3 set to be released on June 18th, Disney/Pixar would like to introduce us to Ken. Barbie's longtime arm candy, Ken gives us a tour of his Dream House, followed by an in-depth, emotionally revealing, interview.
So, I know that I wrote awhile back that I had discovered the worst movie ever made in New York City Serenade, but I'm going to have to recant that claim for a new and obvious successor: Frat Party.
I read your comments and the overwhelming nomination from last week for my Where Are They Now series was Atreyu from the Neverending Story. That's Die unendliche Geschichte for our German readers. I live to give, folks. I live to give. Except there are limits, and that's all the German I know. Except schweinerhünd. But that's another story.
So, where's Atreyu now?
The actor is prepared to walk away from a hefty payday because of a dispute with the studio over who should direct -- he'd rather not make the film at all if it means compromising his artistic vision.
This all sounds fantastic until you find out just what movie and directors we're talking about here.
Shocking to, perhaps, four or five people, MacGruber, the feature-length adaptation of the Saturday Night Live skit, is officially a box-office bomb.
Perhaps I'm just getting bitter and/or more nonchalant in my old age, but when Bret Easton Ellis says stuff like he doesn't think, in general, that women can direct, I don't get angry. I just kind of shrug and tell him to quit talking and go write some messed up book for me to read kthanxbi.
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