MamaPop™

Jesse James Apologizes to Wife Sandra Bullock Through Open Letter to People Magazine.

When the going gets tough in a marriage, the tough get douche-y.  And cheat on their seemingly delightful spouses with tattoo artists with names like "Bombshell," who pencil in eyebrows with a fresh Sharpie and who have tattoos that read “Pray For Us Sinners" on their forehead.

'Buffy' Star Nicholas Brendon to Cops: Don't Tase Me, Bro!

 See how I made a real topical reference there? 

You guys, this news/gossip item makes me very sad, because I have always had and continue to have a giant crush on the character Xander Harris from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. However, Nick Brendon these days? Not doing so well:

Corey Haim's Family Sells His Stuff on E-Bay

As if the fact that Corey Haim died at 38 while battling drug addiction wasn't sad enough - now his family is raising the money for his funeral by selling the cuter of the two Corey's belongings on eBay.

Dark.

So you know, you have about a day and a half left if you want to buy Corey Haim's used toothbrush.

David Schwimmer Engaged, Still Irrelevant

When I saw that David Schwimmer was getting married, do you know what my first thought was? I mean after, "Who?" Well, once I remembered who he was, what I next thought was, "is there really absolutely NOTHING going on in Miley Cyrus's life right now?" Because if David Schwimmer is making news, it must be one hell of a thin news weekend in Hollywood.

Renee Zellweger Pays It Forward In Starbucks

Renee Zellweger. Can't really say I'm a fan. She's a little too wound-up for my liking and often looks just too thin, not to mention too squinty, and too puckered (and too waxen.) That's a whole lot of 'too's. But for about fourteen seconds this week I liked her just a teensy bit when she gave some dude a hundred bucks for saving her from a parking ticket.

Gerard Butler on Jennifer Aniston: "I Trimmed Her Bush."

I can't say I'm the biggest fan in the world of Gerard Butler. He's okay, I suppose. Though I will admit his glistening pectorals are the stuff of my truest envy. Gamer sucked. Oh, sorry. I have this syndrome where truth flies out of my fingertips at all sorts of inopportune times. We're not here to talk about your movies. We're here to talk about how you were engineered in a lab to make Brad Pitt jealous.

Brittany Murphy's Widower Continues to Display Classiness

I'm not going to tell anyone how to react to grief. I have never had anyone really close to me die, and I would be willing to bet that once I got past the initial shock, I might drift to more douchey, lashing out behavior. The anger stage of grief might just be a nice way of saying that people trying to cope with tough events become really irritating and do things that are just very questionable. However...Simon Monjack should really think twice before taking a fresh, new date to an Oscar party just three months after Murphy's shocking death.

Ke$ha Insults Britney

Do you know who Ke$ha is? If not, are you wondering how the hell to even pronounce that name? It's KESH-A, like ketchup but.....well, not. She's the WILDLY TALENTED singer of the WILDLY GENIUS song "Tik Tok" (oh, can't you just imagine how off the charts this girl's SAT scores were). But aside from all that talent and intellect, she's also got herself some opinions about another pop singer.

Heidi and Spencer Plan Their Next Gimmick

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are famous for being ridiculous; it seems like every headline I read with their name in it is more ridiculous than the last.

Blind Item Revealed: Real Housewives Kim Zolciak Comes Out of the Closet

It strikes me that The Real Housewives are neither "real" nor "housewives," and I guess that's why I'm not a fan of the show.  For me, a "real housewife" isn't a plastic woman bedecked with jewels and enormous fake breasts, but that's just me. I grew up in a trailer park, where "real housewives" were women in curlers and robes smoking Virginia Slims while they figured out how to pay the month's bills. That I'm no fan of the show is of no significance, though, because my preferred television programming includes mostly crime and addiction documentaries. I'm certainly not one to throw stones at birds or glass houses.  Or whatever.  I loves me a good blind item, though, so when I discovered the following CDAN blind had been revealed, I squeed with glee.  Even though, you know, I don't really know who these people are.  STILL.  A reveal is a reveal.

Justin Bieber's Sweet 16 is going to be a Real Rager

Justin Bieber is turning 16 on March 1st and he is having a freaking SUH-WEET 16 party.

Who?

Right. It is okay if you don't know who he is. If you are 28 he is the new JTT, if you are 38 he is the new Ricky Schroeder, if you are 48 he is the new Leif Garrett.

The party is going to be so awesome that it is going to be three days long and under aged attendees must sign waivers acknowledging that "participation may involve risk of serious injury or death".

Reese Witherspoon Steps Out With Someone New

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal broke up like a week ago (no, fine, it was really two months ago) and she's already (and allegedly since all these celebrities aren't admitting to ANYTHING these days, damn them) moved on with a new guy and taken that relationship out in public. Reese, you adorable hussy, you.

Lindsay Lohan's Interview With The Sun: Perhaps Not Everything It's "Cracked" Up To Be

Oh, Lindsay. I just want to don a Haz-Mat suit and a pair of latex gloves and just hug the shit out of you.

Lindsay, for reasons only she knows *wink-wink*, granted an interview to The Sun, published February 22, 2010, in which she details her drug abuse and hitting "rock bottom."

Charlie Sheen's New Wife in New Rehab

Charlie Sheen's new wife is in a new rehab and she is suing the old one.

No, not the old Charlie Sheen. The old rehab.

Brooke Mueller has opted to sure her former rehabilitation facility for a breach of privacy.

Is Katie Price Using Her Daughter To Infuriate Her Ex? My Magic Eight Ball Says Probably.

Katie Price, aka glamour model Jordon slash fashion designer for slutty looking equestrians, appears to be antagonizing her ex-husband Peter Andre via their daughter's appearance.