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October 27, 2009

"Powerful... So Powerful. Sensitive... So Sensitive." Happy Birthday, Rebel Without A Cause!

Rebel_Without_a_Cause_Poster By Michael Roe

54 years ago, today, Rebel Without a Cause was released, a film since deemed “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” by the Library of Congress’s National Film Registry. It was James Dean’s second film (and his second-to-last), and the movie that made the young man an icon. 

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October 13, 2009

Eric Braeden Leaves Young & the Restless, Takes Lady Tickler with Him

MoustacheBy Michael Roe

Where were you when you heard that Eric Braeden is leaving CBS’ top-rated The Young & the Restless as of November 2? Here, just a second ago? Devastating, I know. I’m so, so sorry. My mom didn’t prepare me for the news, either. She just blurted... You were being sarcastic? I don’t heart you. Anyway...

Apparently, Sony wanted to drastically cut Braeden’s salary. 68 year old Braeden’s response?

“What? I didn’t hear what you... hold on... let me turn up my miracle ear.”

Once he was able to hear them, and a minute or two of time required for him to process the information and remember where he was had passed, he proceeded to tell them what they could do with their offer. I’m sure it involved the suits’ Wiis. And, I’m sure Sony was all like, “Uh, Nintendo makes the Wii, Eric. We make the PlayStation.”

“Take your Wii, and shove it up your PlayStation! Now, kindly leave, or I will have you thrown out.”

He was in their office. It was awkward. Like, Hover-Round bumping into the boardroom table, getting all lodged and knocking over pitchers of water onto Sony VAIOs awkward.

The point is, Braeden was born in Germany, and you don’t take a German lightly, especially if that German has a moustache and, at 68, has nothing to live for lose.

Anyway, oh, what a moustache it is. Was.

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September 16, 2009

MamaPop Pop Culture Confessional: AlphaMom Edition

Pop_culture_confessional

Welcome to the MamaPop Pop Culture Confessional, where we receive confession of any and all pop culture pleasures, guilty or otherwise!

Today, we take confession from the incomparably awesome Isabel of AlphaMom.

Herewith, her not-so-guilty pop culture pleasures, in her own words:

What an honor to share my most recent pop culture obsessions with you. Luckily for us all, over the past decade we have been blessed by some of the most incredibly written, directed and performed works of are on television, like The Shield, Dexter and Mad Men to name but a few. However for some reason I don’t feel too guilty about watching those shows. My addictions below?  Well… that’s a different story. 

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July 03, 2009

Friday Eye Candy: Whoorl Edition

ED NOTE: You read her pop culture confessions yesterday; today, share her love of of hirsute hotties. Or snicker at it. Whichever. But if you're the type to snicker at Jeffrey Dean Morgan, we probably want little to do with you, so.

. . . . .

Hello, I'm Sarah from Whoorl and Hair Thursday. I have a serious thing for men with beards.

Maybe it's one of those grass-is-greener situations, considering my husband has absolutely no interest in growing one, but MAN OH MAN I love a beard. Now, like everything else, I do believe in moderation. If there's a remote possibility that a living organism could be procreating in those tufts of man hair, I'm out. See below:

Fec-joaquinphoenix

Yep. Not doing it for me at all.

However, you might need to physically restrain me around the next 5 gentlemen.

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June 19, 2009

Friday Eye Candy: Motherhood Uncensored Edition

So, you know how we forced Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored/the Mominatrix to confess her pop culture pleasures earlier this week? Yeah, well, once she got started she couldn't stop, so we kinda had to let her take over Eye Candy for today. Just to, you know, release some of that pressure. Otherwise, you never know. She might have spanked us or something.

Take it away, Kristen!

*******

Well, it's Father's Day and so I give you five hot not-yet-fathers that I want to make my daddy. (Ed. note: Ooh! ASS-SMACK!)

Fec-ryan_reynolds_97

Ryan Reynolds - Hot and funny. Perfect combo.

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June 17, 2009

The MamaPop Pop Culture Confessional: Motherhood Uncensored Edition

MP confessional MamaPop loves pop culture. And MamaPop loves cool betches and besterds who love pop culture. So the MamaPop braintrust thought, oh hai! We has big cool frendz! We has ways of making them confess their pop culture addictions! MWAH HA HA!

So we decided that it would be, like, SO MUCH FUN to subject our favorite bloggers and sundry characters to the MamaPop Confessional, wherein they would be compelled to confess their current top five pop culture pleasures, guilty or otherwise.

(NOTE: We were going to call this feature OPERATION UNICORN OUTREACH: TOTAL PENETRATION, but as we're already using that title as the code name for our world domination project and, also, the theme of our first metal album, we figured, let's stretch ourselves a little. And, also, we wanted to seize the opportunity to play a little fast and loose with Catholic rituals, but that's just a bonus)

And our first confessee is (appropriately, given the smutty backstory here) Kristen Chase, aka Motherhood Uncensored and the Mominatrix!

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March 06, 2009

We Don't Need Another Hero. Oh Wait, On Second Thought, Maybe We Do.

Generic1 Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Bestard, Ryan of Pacing The Panic Room

Thinking back on prototypical comic book heroes like the snores that haunted the Justice League, there was always a story line in which our hero was, for all intents and purposes, rendered wholly out of commission. And once the comic's caped crusader was rendered impotent and unable to defend our planet from villainy for whatever reason, the Earth invariably went bat shit crazy in about, oh, 5 milliseconds (give or take a millisecond). Scores of villains instantly ran amuck, and mankind flailed in the streets in a frothing hero-less panic, dodging the chaos and danger that was now, suddenly, everywhere around them. Of course in the end the hero would overcome and return to right the wrongs, thereby launching humankind back into tranquility and peace. The end.

When I take our four-year-old to the local playground and see the children there, I feel like I am watching a similar comic book scenario. It seems as if food villains are having their way with kids while a long lost health hero has been shackled, powerless  to stop our children from embracing wild junk food orgies and accepting the villany of obesity-related illness into their lives. It appears that with the absence of Slim Goodbody -- champion of healthful eating and enemy of high fructose corn syrup -- America’s children are losing the fight against fat.

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February 27, 2009

Sorry, Edgar Allen Poe

Edgarallanpoe Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Metalia of the appropriately titled Metalia

Considering my love of all things pop culture-related, it’s hard to believe that I didn’t see the movie Road House until the ripe old age of 26. (For those of you keeping score at home, I’m now 28.) I was dazed by it, to be honest--the incredibad dialogue, the amazing (by which I mean, “cringe-inducing”) fight sequences, and above all, the unholy spectre Patrick Swayze’s free-swinging man junk, constantly threatening to escape his tiny Sweatpants of Offensive Inappropriateness.

The problem when dealing with a spectacle of such unmitigated cheesiness as this movie, however, is that pretty much everything that can be written about it, already has been. And so, I decided to craft a post about it in poetic form, thus putting a new spin on one of the worst movies EVER. I’ve since taken this approach for a number of simultaneously maligned/beloved crap tv shows, and I’m honored to share two of my favorites with you today (a paean to The Real Housewives is also in the works).

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February 25, 2009

Lost Remote Results In Paranormal Walk Of Shame

Ps34 Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Katie of Motherbumper

Recently I’ve started watching a show called Paranormal State on A&E.  Has anyone noticed how A&E used to be the home of Biography marathons and serial killers but has gone through some kind of reality show metamorphosis that transformed it into the round-the-clock home of police / bounty hunter / exterminator shows?  I do believe that The Exterminators is a new all time low for the channel.  Wait… no the show about the meter maids was the bottom; The Exterminators helped drill it into the rock.

Anyhow, I must have misplaced the remote the night I first watched Paranormal State. I think what first drew me in may have been the cheeseball Star Trek-inspired "director’s log" voice-over that opens every episode and continues throughout the show.  Because--mark my word--I find it really hard to pass on a chance to make fun of someone else in order to boost my self-esteem, especially someone on the idiot box who isn’t going to talk back.  But regardless of the ego-boosting fromage, it was something else that made me stay. And what was that "something else" you may ask?

Dudes, I think I would have totally hung out with these guys back in university.

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Hayek Hocks a Boobie, Four Million Straight Men Regress and Throw Temper Tantrums

Salma_hayek

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Jennifer of Breed Em' And Weep

I'm sure Spike.com is buttercreaming itself over so-called "butterbody" Salma Hayek using her yummy mothery bosom to breastfeed a hungry African baby in Sierra Leone. To refresh and revolt your memory, Spike.com went on the record recently with this gem:

“Salma Hayek has a beer gut, which she tries to hide by wearing flowing dresses. She fools no one with this trickery. This lady is fat. It’s like she’s carrying a spare car tire around her mid-section. Her only saving grace is her magnificent breasts.”

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February 24, 2009

Cat-vertising, and other signs that our society is headed down the crapper

Catvertising Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Marsha of sweatpantsmom

I don’t know about you, but I pretty much thought it was the end of civilization when I started seeing movie ads popping up on those plastic things on the supermarket. You know what I’m talking about – those bumpers that you use at the checkout to keep your vodka and Oreos separate from the wheat germ and organic feta of the person in front of you. It wasn’t bad enough that looming over every checkstand were copies of The Enquirer and it’s endless stories about Kirstie Alley’s thighs  – now I was confronted with ads for ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ rolling towards me on that little conveyor belt.  It almost had me running over to the self-scan aisle, even if I do always get yelled at by that bitch with the fake boobs and the mustache.

But I realized that those little mini billboards were just the tip of the iceberg as far as annoying, intrusive advertising goes. Because then I read about the lengths to which Warner Brothers went to advertise ‘F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin,’ their new shoot-em-up video game, this past Friday the 13th: they released a bunch of black cats wearing FEAR 2 cat shirts around London in order to ‘capture the attention of superstitious passers-by,’  They even have a name for it - Cat-vertising.  That’s right, you heard me. Advertising. On Cats. Real, live ones!

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February 19, 2009

You Could Have A Crush On A Digital Celebrity

Benjaminbuttonposter

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Bestard, Travis of The Holmes

Some friends of mine hold an Oscar party every year where all the guests receive a list of the nominees when they walk in the door. Everybody is supposed to go through the list and select their picks for the winners in every category, and whoever gets the most right gets a prize or some shit. My choices in this little game are never anything more than guesses, some perhaps informed a bit by hype I may have heard on the news, others complete shots in the dark. I’ve yet to win any prizes, but I make it through. Somehow.

See, It’s a pretty sure bet when Oscar time rolls around that I will not have seen any of the nominees. Maybe one if I’m lucky. I have this bad habit of not getting out much. The last movie I saw in the theater was this piece of shit called The Uninvited, an atrocious remake of the far superior Korean film A Tale of Two Sisters. And even though I live in a town with plenty of theaters that serve alcohol, I ended up seeing this bit of celluloid swiss cheese at a dry cinema. A different venue would have probably made a significant difference in my opinion of the film’s quality. I saw Freddy vs. Jason in the theater back when it came out, but in that case I saw it at Austin’s beloved Alamo Drafthouse, a place that shows movies the way they should be seen. They offer a plentiful variety of beer, some wine, pizza, burgers, wings, desserts, all served by waiters that bring it right to you and know how to walk hunchbacked so they don’t block the screen. By the time the blood started spurting, I had already made a nice dent in my first bucket of brew. I stumbled out of the theater insisting to all in earshot that it was absolutely a shoe-in for best picture.

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Children Are Not Money-Makers

Duggars

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Angella of Dutch Blitz.

I do not know what it is but it seems like there are a plethora of babies being born all at once.  I may not be one to talk, since I have birthed three of those little creatures, but there needs to be some sort of line somewhere. SOMEWHERE.

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February 18, 2009

Rebecca Bloomwood's Golden Parachute

Confessionsofashopaholic

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Julie of Mothergoosemouse

Of all the ridiculous mass-market paperback fluff that was never fit to print, Confessions of a Shopaholic is at the top of my hate parade.

I slogged through the book, vainly hoping for a hint of character development or some decent dialogue.  Shopaholic doesn't even have a coherent plot line, let alone a believable one.  Utter tripe, from start to finish.

And yet, I know perfectly intelligent women who adored Shopaholic.  So I gave my copy to one of them.

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February 17, 2009

Heroes Recap: "Building 26"

Heroes

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Bestard, Whit of Honea Express

"Heroes" has some new competition on my TiVo now, thanks to FOX moving "House M.D." to Monday nights.  The real victim here is Tuesday which has subsequently fallen to laundry night.  There isn't shit on Tuesday.  But I digress.  Here's what happened on "Heroes":

It all started at the Bennet breakfast table.  Noah/HRG, Claire, the kid from 2 1/2 men, the mom and that damn dog Mr. Rodentofunusualsize were all eating Eggos in awkward silence, you know, a typical family meal, and telling lies and drinking the coffee that Noah/HRG made because everyone else makes shit coffee, okay, and he makes the damn coffee.  The scene was pivotal because it showed us Mrs. HRG's new bowl set which she had painted "Chapter Three" and "Building 26" on, respectively, BY HAND- probably at that new Paint a Dream place in the mall.

Claire got a text from someone named Rebel telling her that they needed her help and that she must warn Target, but didn't say crap about warning Wal-Mart because really, who the fuck cares about Wal-Mart? This is happening while Noah/HRG is lying through his Eggo-filled mouth.  The whole time.  It makes it hard to trust him and his manners are questionable.

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