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Hip-Hop Archive

March 03, 2009

I Might Actually Be Done with Kanye Now, Too

Kanyewest Throughout Kanye West's history of being the resident MamaPop douche, I've sort of stayed out of the conversation surrounding his persona, his behavior, his very unique Kanye-ness.


February 16, 2009

Joaquin Phoenix Isn't Crazy If He's Val Kilmer

Do you remember in Oliver Stone's Doors movie when Val Kilmer is Jim Morrison and he's all fat and gnarly and he's watching the news? The news is all filled with various forms of pathetic devastation and it's too much for Val Kilmer's Jim Morrison's fragile psyche and a tear trickles down his cheek like that Indian who's all bummed out about littering. Val Kilmer's Jim Morrison mutters "I'm having a nervous breakdown." Remember that? Well then tell me this then. Is that or is it not Joaquin Phoenix?


I cracked the code. Joaquin Phoenix is NOT crazy. It's not even him. It's really just Val Kilmer's portrayal of Jim Morrison playing Joaquin Phoenix playing a rapper. He's just warming up to play the governor of New Mexico.


February 12, 2009

The Most Awesome Joaquin Phoenix Interview Ever

"Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight," quipped Dave Letterman after one of the most bizarre interviews I've ever seen - even for Joaquin Phoenix.

Phoenix, Rick Rubin, and Alan Moore (the latter authored "Watchmen and "V for Vendetta") should start a hairy man club. Phoenix sat in his contrasting suit and scruff and fielded the majority of Letterman's questions with monosyllabic responses; Letterman admonished him: "I'll just come to your house and sit and chew gum" (Phoenix stuck it under his desk), and asked the actor-turned-"rapper" about his relationship with Ted Kaczynski. I thought the interview was very cringe-worthy, but despite Phoenix's best efforts, now more than ever, I'm totally not buying the New Joaquin.


February 04, 2009

Hey Ladieeeeeessss!


Here's my, "Christ, I'm OLD!" moment for the day: 2009 marks the 20th anniversary of the release of the classic Beastie Boys' album Paul's Boutique.


December 31, 2008

Haggis Rules Everything Around Me


Any American music historian will tell you that hip hop originated in New York City in the 1970s by Kool Herc. But University of New Mexico professor Ferenc Szasz thinks that the genre's roots can be traced back even further, to ancient Scotland where people would engage in something called "flyting."


December 18, 2008

Non-Specific Top However-Many-Items-I-Can-Think-of List for 2008


Being asked to compile a best-of list always makes me happy that I have a blog, because I can never remember anything, not even pop culture that I've enjoyed in a 12-month period. But I have a "plop culture" category that I spent a few minutes perusing this morning and I said a lot of things like, "Oh, YEAH, that WAS awesome!"


December 15, 2008

Fix Up, Look Sharp...AND LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, @$$4013!!?!?!


Here's one for your, "Oh...well..." files. UK rapper Dizzee Rascal was arrested over the weekend in an alleged road rage incident.


Please Stop with the Robot Voice

Lady Sovereign - I Got You Dancing

Also, this chick, Lady Sovereign, sucks. I really wanted to post this video which is nothing more than a wretched, messy amalgam of "Beat It" and "Thriller" mixed in with Bratz Doll, heinous choreography, and football makeup.

But then I heard her robot voice and it got me to thinking. The robot voice is courtesy of Auto-Tune, a pitch-correcting plug-in producers use when their artists sing like crap and can't stay on key. Cher first abused Auto-Tune with "If You Believe in Life After Love" when she used Auto-Tune on her vocals throughout the entire song. (It wasn't Devo, as some have blasphemed; they used a vocoder, not Auto-Tune; anyway, Mark Mothersbaugh is a god who needs not to abuse such sonic tools.)

For whatever reason, a bunch of musicians heard this and, instead of recoiling from the radio and clutching their ears in pain as I did, they thought "WELL GOL-LEE, can I get this fancy technology on my next album?"


November 19, 2008

Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart...You Can Thank Me Later


I never get to watch Martha Stewart, despite being a pretty big fan of her (and even though my crafting skills are nil), but I know that she always has interesting guests on. Yesterday's special guest was Snoop Dogg. He and Martha made mashed potatoes.

Fo shizzle.


September 09, 2008

Hands Off: Jay Smooth is my Hip-Hop Vlogging Boyfriend


Meet Jay Smooth. He's a hip-hop artist and founder of the blog hiphopmusic.com. But I came to know him through his personal vlog, Ill Doctrine. And although I am ambivalently child-free and married to another man, when I watch Jay's insightful, funny and dead-on vlogs, I hear a high-pitched whine from my uterus to make little Jay Smooths with him. This vlogger crush may actually be even more fervent than my crush on zefrank, though not quite as bad as my crush on fictional vlogger Dr. Horrible, because, really, how could I love another that deeply?

Just let me show you what I'm talking about:


August 28, 2008

Marion "Suge" Knight, I Dub Thee Sir Douchebag


You know what Suge? I have never liked you. You have always been a thug and a criminal, even though your label put out some of the best rap of the 90s. But this news makes me so livid I can't even call you by your nickname anymore, because that would mean I had even an ounce of respect for you. You are now either Marion "Douchebag" Knight, or Sir Douchebag. Take your pick.


July 03, 2008

If Nothing Else, This Post Will Let You Know Gym Class Heroes Exists


Gym Class Heroes - get thee to YouTube if you haven't heard of them! - frontman Travis McCoy was arrested onstage last night after defending himself against a fan who'd called him a horrible racial slur and then tried to physically assault him.


November 19, 2007

Silicon Valleys

Doctor90210 After the many recent celebrity plastic surgery debacles, I have become somewhat obsessed with all these plastic surgeon frauds. Like this guy, Robert Rey, shilling bras but not board certified in plastic surgery. Dr. Rey (or is it "Dr." Rey?) is the guy from Dr. 90210, which I am not sure we even get way up here in the tundra. 


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